Hopelessromantic3 Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I had a huge crush on this guy in college...we were more acquaintances than friends and were involved in some of the same groups. It's been several years now and we didn't keep in touch. He's back in the area now and I ran into him the other day. He hugged me and flirted and acted like we were long lost friends. I'm at a better place now in terms of dating, and I'm not having any illusions that that's necessarily where this is going. I don't have a lot of friends in the area though, and I would like to reconnect and hang out with him. But, how do I bring it up without it seeming like I'm asking him out or (worse) just being awkward and desperate? I don't have his number, but we're Facebook friends. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 You're overthinking this. If he thinks that you like him, so what? You do like him. Next time you are in conversation, just say, "hey, since you're back in town, why don't we hang out?" Or if there's something you want to do/see, just invite him along. To be honest, I don't see what's awkward or desperate about that. At the very least, you've got someone new to hang out with. And if everything aligns, you've got a new boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopelessromantic3 Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 Next time you are in conversation, just say, "hey, since you're back in town, why don't we hang out?" Or if there's something you want to do/see, just invite him along. Thanks for the advice. The only problem is, I don't know when we're likely to be "in conversation" again. He lives about 30 minutes from me and it was a chance meeting that happened the other day. I think that's why I worry about looking desperate or whatever, because I'd have to go out of my way to contact him (and it would probably have to be online). Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 If you've not followed up on your chance meeting, then just send him a message on FB. Say that it was great seeing him again and if he's around that area again, to give you a shout and you'll meet up and hang out. Then just file it away. Ball's in his court. If he gets back to you, he gets back to you. If he doesn't then it's not a huge loss because you haven't poured your heart out. You're just reconnecting with a friend. If you took out that you used to crush on him, that's all it is. There's nothing desperate about that. You can either take a chance and send what is essentially a rather innocuous message (in my opinion), or you can always wonder "what if" - it's up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabella Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Just message him on FB and be like "It was great bumping into you the other day. I was planning on going to see a movie sometime this weekend, wanna come along?" Replace movie by whatever you think might be fun to do with him and you're off to the races. If he says no, so what? it's not like you have to see him again. "Man up" -A Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopelessromantic3 Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 Thanks for your responses. After thinking about it, I think I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not worried so much about the awkwardness of sending the message itself, but of what could follow. I have social anxiety and basically zero dating experience. So even if I'm trying to look at this as friends catching up, I'm still having a lot of anxiety about the potential implications. Sending the message would probably make me feel empowered and proud of myself, but I'm so afraid about what I would do if he actually took me up on getting together. Setting myself up for failure, I guess... :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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