Ex-Girlfriend punched me - Should I report it?

[danm]

I am a little stuck on what I should do. My ex girlfriend has hit me in the face, has a history of temper related issues before me, and I am worried for her sanity and what she may do to someone else, for her own sake.

 

Judge for yourself if you deem this worthy of 'reporting' or not!?

 

PHOTO 1 >> http://s11.postimage.org/jkclmcsu9/1349094449344.jpg

 

PHOTO 2 >> http://s15.postimage.org/gzhd8tl95/1349094514302.jpg

 

 

LONG STORY

We bought a house together. We rowed. She started getting verbally abusive and have physical tempers throwing crap around. She also did this odd thing of slapping my arm/light hitting if you like when she was frustrated at me or I did something wrong (as pathetic as not getting her sunglasses out her handbag fast enough when she was driving would get me an arm slap).

 

Over time, other weird things happened (irrelevant to this) and I suspected she was seeing someone else.

 

One night, she throws a container of cat biscuits over me; the next night its a knife in my direction in the kitchen. Not nice. We split up.

 

Soon after she gets together with the guy I suspected. No big deal. We agree not to bring other people to the house out of respect. She then brings the guy to 'our' home one night, and after I express my disgust at her breaking of our rules, the new guy proceeds to threaten to 'sort me out' in my own house because I was arguing with her about what she had done. I then moved out and visit the house when she is away to do DIY. And more recently, we have made agreements to do DIY together on some days as it can be done a lot faster.

 

Fast track to this weekend. She 'accidently' opened a clearly labelled 'important documents' letter of mine in the post. She saw I had bought myself a cheap classic car to fix up over the winter with my best friend who has the same one. A little something I rewarded myself for doing the DIY and to keep me occupied in the coming cold months.

 

After questioning me who owned car in the street, I told her I didn't know, and was told I was an absolute liar. She knew I had bought it, she knew it was mine, but used the fact I 'lied to her about it' to outweigh any argument I could make about her opening my mail in the first place. How manipulative. My car purchase has nothing to do with her in any form, and it was my business. A line she has used when I ask what shes doing with her weekends if she is too busy to help with the house.

 

I proceeded to argue with her that if she wasn't so busy manipulating men and jumping in their pants all weekend we might actually sell the house this year. That being 'none of my business what she does in her personal life'.

 

Then she hit me. In the face. In the eye socket.

 

She has a history of rage. Her sister told me she had to see a special therapist for it years ago, but I thought nothing of it. Until now.

 

Being a guy, this seems stupid. If I report it, what is to stop her making things up about me? She is a girl, and girls always seem to get the upper hand in these situations. She has previously made fictional yelps during arguments when family or friends have been downstairs, to make me seem like I was perhaps 'hitting' her. I can honestly see if I report this incident, she will most likely create a web of lies, meaning it may just be better if I kept quiet.

 

But this seems to unfair and wrong. If it was the other way round (chris brown/rihanna) I'd be labelled and condemned. Sure, I said mean things. We both did. But I have never physically abused her at all.

 

The absolute worst thing I have done is call her something mean during the argument; and then restrain her arms after the first hit to prevent further injury to myself. She is quite frightening and I am frankly terrified to spend time alone with her now even for the sake of decorating the house.

 

What should I do? I genuinely want this to be documented in some form, but I know if I report it, or make it know, her reaction will be to counter it with something elaborately made up. And being a girl, her side will be believed first without question.

 

I will NOT be seeing her in any form ever again, only to sign the house sale documents. DIY is now solo, and if she decides to do work, I will make sure I am absent.

[january2011]

Yes, report it. Even if it's just kept on file and you don't press charges, it means that if it happens again, the police can take into account previous history.

 

I'd also advise you to document your interactions with her - anything you can remember from the past and anything that happens from now on. Dates, what happened, any witnesses, what she did, what you did, etc.

 

This is not acceptable. It does not matter that you are a man and she is a woman.

 

Move out and get all your mail re-directed to your new place. You need to get yourself as far away from her as possible. Sever all ties and only deal with her through official channels. If you ever need to meet, you need to bring someone with you as a witness. Do not meet in private.

[danm]

When clearing the house a few weeks back I actually found an invoice for six counselling/psychotherapist sessions in the recycle bin from as recently as 2 months ago she must have thrown out when she was in the house.

 

I photographed them for my own benefit, and threw them out.

 

I also have at least three audio recordings from past arguments (including 30 seconds after I was hit here) with her admitting to punching me, as well as showing her absolute hysteria and over-reactional screaming at me when I am merely speaking during other arguments.

 

I am aware some of these are breaches of her privacy, but by what means am I otherwise meant to gain 'evidence' of what she is like and is doing? It is otherwise a 'her word against mine' sort of thing.

 

I guess this incident, added to her past need to see a therapist and the evidence I have of her now must count for something.

 

I am torn. I wasn't aware I could 'file' this incident and not press charges? As in, I want it to be logged, and should anything happen in the future, again, I can bring this up to prove that I am not just responding to anything she may try to claim if she did. I knew I should have reported her new guy threatening me. I guess it's too late for than now.

 

Would it be a silly idea to contact her mother tonight via phone and let her know what she has done to me? And to agree with her mother that I do not wish her to come to the house whilst I am there, and to arrange things before? Since she is living with her mum and she is rather reasonable, I guess she is a good bet to talk to.

 

I don't think she is aware of what is going on, but she does know her daughter has a temper.

[2sunny]

Don't call her mom - call the police.

[loveunlimited]

Absolutely report it, I didn't even finish downloading the pic's, I didn't need to. That is completely unacceptable. It's physical assault, and totally way out of line. In my opinion, any violence, no matter 'who-on-who', is completely bang out of order.

[M30USA]

Don't call her mom - call the police.

 

If you call the police, don't be there in the house. And make sure she doesn't know you've called. Men get arrested 80% of the time, even if they've been the one attacked. Be cautious.

[dumbass101]

Absolutely report it, I didn't even finish downloading the pic's, I didn't need to. That is completely unacceptable. It's physical assault, and totally way out of line. In my opinion, any violence, no matter 'who-on-who', is completely bang out of order.

 

funny how you only see physical abuse as reportable and not have empathy on emotional abuse or reporting theft!!! I don't tolerate any form of abuse darling.

[loveunlimited]

What are you talking about, exactly? Your dumbass 'revenge' thread?

 

I added to it - but then, of course, so did you.

 

If you only give half the info, then you'll get responses based on that info alone. You can't call people out on being unfair, when you withheld pertinent info to begin with. Be logical.

 

Darling.

Edited October 14, 2012 by loveunlimited