Why can't I get over past things he's said and done??

[mzbubbles]

I am in a dilemma....

In the first few months of my relationship certain things were said and i feel it's turned me into a jealous psycho freak and i am finding it hard to get over.

 

The first thing was that he didnt want me to be his friend on facebook.. I was so suspicious but he said it was because he didnt trust certain people he knows and someone in the past stole a girl he really liked through adding her on fb... Eventually he added me but didnt have anything about me on there (no pics or anything) even though he was all over my page. One day i log in and he's put up photo's of him and some promotional girls in little dresses.. I kicked off coz felt annoyed that i felt hidden n like a filthy secret n nobody he knew had a clue who i was but he was so quick to put up pics of him and two football promo girls he'd had pics with.

After i let him know how i felt, he then tagged himself in a few of the pics id put up of us on my page.. And i admit that abput 10 guys from his page did try to add me, so maybe he was telling the truth on that one.

 

Next thing that upset me was he said 'i wouldnt change a thing about you... Well you could always get a boob or bum job if you wanted though'

 

Next thing was when he found out i was going gym, he said to me 'make sure you do loads of squats'

 

Then another time he told me my butt was like flat pack furniture.. Basically saying i have no butt. Since that i have become obsessed and have been training my butt big time.. I didnt ever think had a flat behind but thats the last thing i want ... But even though i have seen my rear improve in size and shape, i still feel obsessed with training it to perfection and feel worried when he sees me naked in case he's wishing i had a different body.

 

Then one day we were talkin about latino women and he said 'no offence or anything but latino girls are perfect.. They have perfect breasts n perfect a$$es' (that one really left me with a bitter taste)

 

Also when him n mates went amsterdam they all slept with hookers... Thats fair enough as i wasn't with him at the time. but then he started saying how sleeping with a hooker is one of the finer things in life and he just loves to walk around the red light district n just look at how sexy all the hookers are (that made me sick)... He has since said he cant believe he said that n it shows how childish he was back then etc.

 

In addition to the silly comments which kinda made me feel inadequate, there were also a few little white lies about pointless silly things that i caught him out with.. Like where he was sometimes...like he said one night he was chilling around a friends house, then i find out when i sign up to instagram that in fact that night him n his pals went for a couple of drinks in central london to a place with loads of hookers and strip clubs... He swears it was just a couple of drinks in a bar and he lied coz he didnt want me to be worrying..but with the past things he'd said, was it any wonder i was very suspicious.

 

Also there was no pics of me at all on his instagram, even though he had joined it since getting with me.. and he'd put the pics of the promotional girls up there again with the caption 'you know how we do' ...to look at you'd think he was single and he is following loads of tasty chicks n liking their pics. He only put pics of me n him up when i said i was upset his account looked like he was a single guy n if he didnt want to show me off then i wasnt going to put pics of him up on my page. So then he put up a couple of pics of me n him.

 

Also it took months before i finally met some friends of his even though my friends were inviting us out as couples and i was constantly worried he was hiding something, but i finally met a few of them properly about 6 weeks ago and went out with them again as a couple other night.

 

 

All of these things put together has just turned me quite jealous and i find myself obsessing about things he's said to me in past and also i go over things he says n try to find inconsistencies in his stories. i have tried to end it but he cries and begs, saying im the best thing that has ever happened to him and the most gorgeous girl he's ever been out with n the first person that has ever made him feel truly loved n wanted n he cannot lose me.

 

I admit that for a couple of months he has really been trying hard. There has been no white lies that ive found out and no dodgy comments at all. He's been very very loving and affectionate and has also helped me when going through some tough times. Its like he's turned into my dream guy.... But i just cannot get over the things from the past, i am so untrusting and so jealous and it's driving me crackers.

 

Is it possible i will get over it in time of him showing he's changed?? I cannot go on like this forever so how long do i leave it before i decide it's time to call it a day??? I keep going funny on him and i sometimes question him and it's coz i just can't totally forget the certain things he's said and done. I know he'schanged as he's been so different..but still i feel a little inadequate around him and get jealous... And i dont want to feel this way.

 

Do you think i can slowly begin to put the past behind me or do you think his silliness has ruined this possible good thing for good?? I so want to forget it all like he keeps telling me to but i am just finding it hard.

 

Thanks for reading and sorry about the long post.