HeavenOrHell Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 That's great to hear Hello! Yeah things have actually gotten better. I definitely have seen more of an effort on his part to put time and show effort in our relationship so I really appreciate that. He texted me to let me know he was ok and having a good time while he was out at Oktoberfest so I really happy about that too. It's been a steady incline I'd have to say 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Bluegreen, your interpretation of Oktoberfest really makes me worried. If anything does happen, well.. we'll deal with it then. I don't think he would but still... I'm a girl, and he's in a freaking drunk fest in a complete different continent. Let me be crazy, right??!! My boyfriend is very attractive too. I'm scared of what these girls will do. Uggggh..... this situation is beyond unreassuring. Ah well. It's not under my control. I want to act the same way he acts to me just so he could realize it. But does "fire with fire" really diffuse the problem? Probably not... Even better -- in my case, it was Thailand, the sex tourist capital of the world. This is no way to live, girl. A relationship shouldn't get you worried/scared about what other girls will do to him and get him to cheat. He won't cheat if he doesn't want to -- as simple as that. Now, granted, Germany is not as odd a location as Thailand. So I don't think you should be that worried to begin with. Still, if you are worried, then something's wrong in the relationship, and I'm not saying it's from your end. He should've reassured you that he won't be doing anything of that sort, and keep in constant communication. If he's not, then he does not seem to be terribly interested in this relationship. Just like my ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Playing games and acting the same as he is is being passive aggressive. Well, communicating is not always productive. In fact, with my ex, it was completely counter-productive. Sure, giving him the same treatment pissed him off, but it also made him realize that he was doing something I didn't like, which he completely ignored if I tried to talk to him about it. Actually, he dumped me a day after I did try to communicate with him, whereas in the past, when I gave him the same treatment or gave him the silent treatment, he got mad at me, but he didn't consider dumping me at the time anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author esstea Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 Well, communicating is not always productive. In fact, with my ex, it was completely counter-productive. Sure, giving him the same treatment pissed him off, but it also made him realize that he was doing something I didn't like, which he completely ignored if I tried to talk to him about it. Actually, he dumped me a day after I did try to communicate with him, whereas in the past, when I gave him the same treatment or gave him the silent treatment, he got mad at me, but he didn't consider dumping me at the time anyway. Your ex sounds like a complete jackass and well thank god he is your ex for a reason! He was completely giving you a double standard. Typically if you fight fire with fire you just get a bigger flame but it also brings light into some problems so I'd have to agree, it really could go both directions. Newton's third law of motion to a T. And I actually wasn't aware that Thailand was that sort of city..... Interesting. And thank you @HeavenOrHell! Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Communication is productive if both parties care how the other feels, and care enough about the relationship to listen to each other and try to find ways to make it work. It's not productive if someone doesn't want to listen, or doesn't want to change things for the better, or doesn't care much how their partner feels. If communicating, ie; being honest about you feel, then causes a break up then that's clearly for the best, not being honest is counter productive, it means you're squashing down how you feel so as not to rock the boat, no r/ship will survive that. Well, communicating is not always productive. In fact, with my ex, it was completely counter-productive. Sure, giving him the same treatment pissed him off, but it also made him realize that he was doing something I didn't like, which he completely ignored if I tried to talk to him about it. Actually, he dumped me a day after I did try to communicate with him, whereas in the past, when I gave him the same treatment or gave him the silent treatment, he got mad at me, but he didn't consider dumping me at the time anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I actually wasn't aware that Thailand was that sort of city..... Interesting. Thailand is a country. Link to post Share on other sites
Author esstea Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 @justwhoiam Clearly I am suffering from a severe case of the Mondays.... Haha my bad 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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