Rider4Life Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 I have been with my WONDERFUL boyfriend for 7mnths now, and things are great. We talk about our future a lot, but it's mostly just light talk, seeing as we are WAY to young to even think about marriage or anything. (we both have very good heads on our shoulders, and his sister got engaged very young, and she and her fiance are having serious issues on their own). He's very open to talking about everything though, such as what each of us want to do for a living, where we'd each like to go to college, where to live after college, if each of us wants kids, ect. He also is a lot like me, and would love nothing more than to marry his high school sweetheart. This all made me think, and I was just curious...how long should two people be together before they 1)move in together (I'm not asking about my boyfriend and I, just in general (age advice would also be helpful)), and 2) think about getting married. Again, we are NOT planning on getting engaged anytime soon, I promise! In my opinion, though, I think it's ok to get engaged young (early 20s, MAYBE laaate teens in certain situations), but I don't think getting married is a good idea until both are out of college and settled. Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Living together after one finishes college and marriage after twenty-five. Just my opinion though Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 You're right. Getting engaged in early 20's is fine. You might want a 2 year engagement though. As for moving in together---hmmm...I would have to say it's a bad idea. No offense, but the fact that you two are both young and thinking of living together is not a wise choice. Basically, when you live with someone, you are married to them. The only difference marriage makes is a legal sheet of paper. And being you are both young, possibly get bored of each other, feel you have no obligations to each other, and break up, this will be like a "messy divorce" in the end. I feel generally when people "shack up" without engagement and a set wedding date, what they really want is the opportunity to play house for a while (until the fun bombs), have freedom, and more access to sex, and when these get boring they want the opportunity to leave with no strings attached. I'm sure you bf loves you very much and you feel the same, but remember, living together is not the step you want to take at this age. I had a friend who did that at 19 years old. They were great for each other. However, after 6 years of living together, he had committment issues. He didn't want to get married or even engaged b/c he said, "what difference would it make, it's just a sheet of paper, and then we'll have to spend money we don't have on a big wedding and honeymoon. We have each other now". She eventually grew bored of waiting. She started seeing other men and eventually broke it off with him. After she broke it off, since they lived together, they actually had to take some issues of "who's getting what" in court. She had to spend money on a lawyer, take time off of work, and go through a whole big thing. Also, she now regrets wasting 6 years of living with him. She lost her chance to get married to him, and she lost the opportunity to date guys during her college years and the first years of her career. The moral of the story: don't live with someone unless you are SURE you want to spend the rest of your life with this person and YOU HAVE A RING ON YOUR FINGER WITH A WEDDING DATE SET! Live on your own instead and he should try it too, but dont live with each other! Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 how long should two people be together before they think about getting married. 50 years. Seriously. Yours Truely, Samson Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 LOL! Don't listen to Samson...he is one of Loveshack's anti-marriage campaigners. Then again...it DOES take a long while to get to really know someone...and even then, they may surprise you. Life is full of risks, therefore. Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Just for you, thinkalot, I've moderated my position: 25 years should be the minimum. Happy now!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 Well yes, thanks Samson...25 years is nuthin'! Link to post Share on other sites
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