army guy Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 hi everybody, im new to this forum so dont beat me up. ok so heres my situation; me and my wife have been together for over 2 years, got maried last christmas. and have been going to mariage counceling since prety much the beging to make sure our relationship got stronger, before anything escilated. heres the problem. on the way home today, i did something stupid while driving, no need to get into it, lets just say it was close to an accident. so the whole thing started when she snaped at me about my driving, and i snaped back at her because i didnt notice it. she went on about how im not an atentive driver, and about the accident i had last fall before we got maried, whenever she needs a trump card for her car she always goes to that. then she goes in to how i dont keep her car clean (the truth is i realy do suck at that) but i dont understand how it went from my driving to how i never keep the car clean its like she just picks one thing after the other to throw at me and doesnt stop. after that was done she went on about how the mariage counceling was not working. this is where my big mess up came. she has been saying that if we dont do well in counceling, then down the road the problems that we have will lead to a divorce. i was thinking about that when the whole counceling thing was brought up. and i said "F*** it lets get a divorce" i dont know where that came from. i dont want a divorce, i love her very much. but that just got her sooo mad. when we got home she just let me out of the car and left, didnt let me get my things out or nothing. what do i do? how do i fix it? Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Sounds like my first marriage. Listen man, don't use the word divorce unless it's really meant. My ex and I used the word divorce way too much, which ended up leading to the divorce. Also sounds like your wife could use some counceling on her patience and nagging. No offense, Why isn't the counceling working? after that was done she went on about how the mariage counceling was not working. this is where my big mess up came. she has been saying that if we dont do well in counceling, then down the road the problems that we have will lead to a divorce. How old are you two? My ex and I married at 19 and divorced at 21 and it sounds to me like the same crap being said. I learned from it and am remarried and a lot happier. I used to talk like your wife...and learned the hard way. What is the problem you two have that is hurting your marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
DazednConfused Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Sounds like some massive repression going on. May I ask why you chose to post on the infidelity forum?? I am not sure what you are after if the counseling is not working. Perhaps you two just need to speak to each other as adults..... Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 i think the first thing you should do is to tell her that you really do love her and you're sorry you said something you now regret in a moment of anger. tell her you never meant to say you wanted a divorce because that's the last thing you want. finally, tell her that you seriously want to try to make counseling work because you love her and you want to be with her and then give counseling all you've got. if it doesn't work in the end, you won't be beating yourself up for not doing all you could. good luck to you. you sound like you love her a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Originally posted by littleflowerpot i think the first thing you should do is to tell her that you really do love her and you're sorry you said something you now regret in a moment of anger. tell her you never meant to say you wanted a divorce because that's the last thing you want. finally, tell her that you seriously want to try to make counseling work because you love her and you want to be with her and then give counseling all you've got. if it doesn't work in the end, you won't be beating yourself up for not doing all you could. good luck to you. you sound like you love her a lot. I agree! Perhaps she would feel more comfortable w/a new therapist. You may want to check around. Link to post Share on other sites
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