Lovebird Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 My bf and I broke up because after 15 months he told me he didn't want to get married again. We had no contact for 6 weeks and now we are talking about getting back together. I know he loves me and I love him. He is kind and thoughtful. What I want to know is how can you have a committed relationship (his words) if you know the fellow doesn't ever want to marry you or live with you. What is left. I am confused. Are we just friends who love each other and maybe make love? I need to figure out what to say to him when we get together to talk about this. I feel like "what is the point". Maybe I'm wrong to feel this way. I am in my 50's and guess I was brought up in a generation that saw marriage as the ultimate result of a loving relationship. I would even be happy seeing living together and sharing a life that way as ok. But to know now that this will never happen... Where is the growth in the relationship? Where is the future? Do we just live for today and not worry about the future. I could do that is he had not already told me what the future would not hold. Should I just try to be friends with him and leave myself open to date others, maybe finding someone who could imagine this kind of future with me (even if it never happened). It would give us something to look forward to and work toward, wouldn't it. Am I looking at this the wrong way. Is there something I am missing? What should I say to him? Link to post Share on other sites
dasani08810 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 If you want to get married more than you want him; then find someone that has your goals in mind. As time goes on, you'll end up resenting him and will probably think you've sold out. Really, if he is that against it, and you are so wanting it, then he should give that to you! This is one of those things that "If you love me you will" pertains to. Women want that security; hell, I'm a man and I want that security! What are relationships for? Fun and games? No, there for finding that person that you will be with and count on til death. That's my opinion anyway. I have couple friends that have been living together for 20 years and I think to myself "what's the point?" Fear? Yea right!! NOT. I think it's a fear of commitment. If they can't see marriage as the goal then they aren't as commited as you think. Go for what you want! If he can't give it to you, then find someone that can. Link to post Share on other sites
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