Update on my breakup

[Starnette83]

well my bf and i were togher 3.5 years...i loved him alot but he was afraid of commitment or a serious relationship, i didnt demand marriage or anything scary like that, im still young-21. I just wanted to keep having fun with him and have communication and just basically the same thing..but he became more distant with me and would be like lookin for other girls online while with me, i dunno why but i always forgave him thinking he was just doing whats guys do, but anyways it just got worse to him givin his # out to girls in real life and not sayin anything about me-his gf.

 

so exactly 9 days ago i broke up with him cuz i had ENOUGH!! i had cried too much, talked to him too much of how it made me feel and he didnt change, he kept lying and i kept hurting, so i figured "this guy does not care, i keep forgiving him and he keeps doing it to me even more and more" anyways i brok eup and he knows i was hurting, i was in tears, he knew i was forced to break up because of his behavior..he said "ya we should break up i havent seen it working out from a long time"..this just made my tears come out even more!! how could he be like this i thought??? I said "DONT EVER CALL ME AGAIN!!, this time its for REAL!!" and he just said "if thats what u want, okay"....

then i just was speechless, didnt know what else to say was just in tears and confusion and anger and sadness all at the same time, just a day before that we were having a good day and now this..ugh!!

 

Anyways now its 9 days from the situation and we havent had any contact whatsoever, i havent seen him, havent spoken to him and i purposely blocked him from AIM cuz i dnt want him to see me when Im online...i think of him alot but im tryin to get myself together..its so ahrd cuz i really loved him, he was a cool person but his lying is really mest up!!!....I have so many questions like "wil;l he regret this?", does he miss me? "when will i talk to him?" but ive realized that all these questions leave me stommped and in a way waiting..i shouldnt WAIT!! why would i want to take him back? I took him back 4-5 times..why another time??what would change?? NOTHING!! ive decided to leave my questions unanswerned and focus on myself..THIS IS VERY HARD!!! but i have to do it for me, i know i hate being without him, but i must have faith that i will get used to being without him and hopefully one day get over it...i really want a bf who doesnt lie to me, who makes me feel special all the time not from hot/cold type of behavior, and he had his chance!! its not like i didnt give him chances..actually i think i gave too many were he just laid back and was like whatever she will take me back cuz she loves me!

FORGET IT!! today i will start the process of letting go...ill keep ya'll updated...wish me luck n any suggestions, keep in mind i do still CARE ALOT about him but thinking about it..he caused me alot of hurt and he wasnt respecting me anymore and taking me for granted while i was still being the best gf ever!!

[drinana]

Hey Starnette83:

 

I know that this situation is super hard for you.. It's so hard to put your foot down and do what you know is right when you have the "but I love him thing" constantly in your head.. Just remember that you're not gonna miss the guy he has become, you are gonna miss the guy he was. That's how I feel about my ex.. He's such a different person now.. I miss the old him, the one I feel in love with.. Sounds like you know that you need to move on and that's a good start.. It will be hard.. But don't let him continue to have control over your life, emotions, etc.. This guy sounds like a real jerk and you should move on.. Take some time for you.. Figure out what you want in the next person so that when he comes around you're prepared.. I know it's hard to think now, but only good can come out of this.. Things will get better for you from here on out.. Take care of yourself and be strong!!!!!

 

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished.....that will be the beginning." - Louis L'Amour

[midnitebuterfly]

Originally posted by Starnette83

well my bf and i were togher 3.5 years...i loved him alot but he was afraid of commitment or a serious relationship, i didnt demand marriage or anything scary like that, im still young-21. I just wanted to keep having fun with him and have communication and just basically the same thing..but he became more distant with me and would be like lookin for other girls online while with me, i dunno why but i always forgave him thinking he was just doing whats guys do, but anyways it just got worse to him givin his # out to girls in real life and not sayin anything about me-his gf.

 

so exactly 9 days ago i broke up with him cuz i had ENOUGH!! i had cried too much, talked to him too much of how it made me feel and he didnt change, he kept lying and i kept hurting, so i figured "this guy does not care, i keep forgiving him and he keeps doing it to me even more and more" anyways i brok eup and he knows i was hurting, i was in tears, he knew i was forced to break up because of his behavior..he said "ya we should break up i havent seen it working out from a long time"..this just made my tears come out even more!! how could he be like this i thought??? I said "DONT EVER CALL ME AGAIN!!, this time its for REAL!!" and he just said "if thats what u want, okay"....

then i just was speechless, didnt know what else to say was just in tears and confusion and anger and sadness all at the same time, just a day before that we were having a good day and now this..ugh!!

 

Anyways now its 9 days from the situation and we havent had any contact whatsoever, i havent seen him, havent spoken to him and i purposely blocked him from AIM cuz i dnt want him to see me when Im online...i think of him alot but im tryin to get myself together..its so ahrd cuz i really loved him, he was a cool person but his lying is really mest up!!!....I have so many questions like "wil;l he regret this?", does he miss me? "when will i talk to him?" but ive realized that all these questions leave me stommped and in a way waiting..i shouldnt WAIT!! why would i want to take him back? I took him back 4-5 times..why another time??what would change?? NOTHING!! ive decided to leave my questions unanswerned and focus on myself..THIS IS VERY HARD!!! but i have to do it for me, i know i hate being without him, but i must have faith that i will get used to being without him and hopefully one day get over it...i really want a bf who doesnt lie to me, who makes me feel special all the time not from hot/cold type of behavior, and he had his chance!! its not like i didnt give him chances..actually i think i gave too many were he just laid back and was like whatever she will take me back cuz she loves me!

FORGET IT!! today i will start the process of letting go...ill keep ya'll updated...wish me luck n any suggestions, keep in mind i do still CARE ALOT about him but thinking about it..he caused me alot of hurt and he wasnt respecting me anymore and taking me for granted while i was still being the best gf ever!!

 

Hey star, what is your aol aim name? I would like to chat with you b/c i am feeling the same way about my ex..

[Starnette83]

well today is 11th day no contact, he hasnt made any attempt to contact me and actually has happy away messages such as "im in class and its actually fun"..its rediculous..sometimes i feel off then happy then mad...i feel so confused with my feelings, i reallyf eel like all guys suck, i know this is not the right way to think but i truly believed my exbf was different, i thought he was special..i thought that he would never hurt me ...

 

I think of all the good times we spent together and how i felt so safe and lovey next to him, how he looked in my eyes as we layed there and how with just our eyes i could see a smile, it was just so wonderful and now how hes being such a jerk by just leaving me here, not caring about how im feeling and then i think of all the lies he said because he wanted to be with another girl even tho he had a girl which was me and who loved him so much, i think of all the stuff i did for him-clean his room, listen to him, give him his fav massages, and now i see it was all pointless, i feel taken advantage of, like i shouldnt have even bothered giving all this to him cuz what did he do but just leave me here feeling like i never mattered and he rather have any other girl...

 

its just pathetic, i really dont know if i can ever trust a guy and i really dont even know if theres even a guy worth getting to know, it just seems like guys just want to explore and have alot of girls and theres no way they can just stick to one girl and be happy that way, it doesnt make sense to me, and it makes me sad, disapointed and angry all at the same time

[wolvie666]

I'm in the reverse situation that you're in. But actually worse. My fiance and I were together for 6.5 years and out of nowhere she tells me that she feels tied down and wanted to take a break from each other. A week later she hooks up with this new guy (who's an a**h***) and now a month and a half later she tells me on my b-day of all days that she loves him and they have talked about marriage. I was completely faithful and completely happy and believed with all my heart that she was the one for me (actually I still believe that even after all the crap she's put me through). Some people who are immature have these crises where they feel like they're making a mistake or they're missing out on something by staying with the same person. I know she doesn't actually love this guy (though I do think she thinks she believes she does), it's nothing more but infatuation because he's this new exciting thing and personality-wise he's everything I'm not.

 

She acts like we never had anything and we were as close as two people could be. I took her all over the country and treated her like a princess. Just leave him be and with any luck if it's meant to be he'll realize he's losing a good thing. That's my new strategy. I know she's making a huge mistake and I think she's gonna realize it once things settle down and she looks around and sees I am no longer around and the guy that is isn't anybody she wants to spend her life with. I'm moving on so if she does come back who knows if I'll take her back or not.

 

You're early in the break up, I've been dealing with this for almost 2 months now (though she just dropped the bomb that she "loves" this guy on me yesterday). Just try and keep your mind off of him. There's nothing you can do about it, let him come to you. I've gotten tons of advice from people who have been in situations like this and they all say, "they always come back." I must admit I pray that it's true. I didn't pay on that diamond ring for a year for nothing. She's the girl I want to grow old with. Now if only she'd snap out of it and realize how good we had it and how bad she's blowing it.