davidjor Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Ok, for those of you who dont know my story. I fell pretty hard for an employee that worked for me, she was married. She seemed perfect, except the fact she was married. Well since then, I closed my restaurant and bar and have tried to distance my self from her. oh, Did I say she was married.. Dam, I can't believe that I fell so hard so fast for a married women, granted she is not happy but still she is married. We did NOT have sex, however we talked about it and have kissed and touched several times. Well, I use to get text's from here several times during the day. I have told her how I feel, and that I loved her. I have tried to go NC and seems as though I just can't. I did label her phone number "Do Not Call" in my phone. Now for the past week, I have only answered text she sends me, I have not inititated any contact with her. I want to bad, I look at my phone constently to see if she has texted.. :-( This whole situation just sucks... SHE'S MARRIED ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Not sure what advice you're looking for here. But from my perspective, your next steps are pretty simple. Perhaps not easy...but simple. She's no longer your employee. And as you so eloquently pointed out...she's married. Block her number from your phone and email. And move on. Nothing else really needs to be said. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Tell her if she calls/texts again you will inform her husband- that should make it end. You say "you can't" - that's not true. You will if you decide - make that decision and stick with it. She cheats - what's so good about wanting to be with a gal that will cheat? YOU deserve better - never settle! Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Ok, for those of you who dont know my story. I fell pretty hard for an employee that worked for me, she was married. She seemed perfect, except the fact she was married. Well since then, I closed my restaurant and bar and have tried to distance my self from her. oh, Did I say she was married.. Dam, I can't believe that I fell so hard so fast for a married women, granted she is not happy but still she is married. We did NOT have sex, however we talked about it and have kissed and touched several times. Well, I use to get text's from here several times during the day. I have told her how I feel, and that I loved her. I have tried to go NC and seems as though I just can't. I did label her phone number "Do Not Call" in my phone. Now for the past week, I have only answered text she sends me, I have not inititated any contact with her. I want to bad, I look at my phone constently to see if she has texted.. :-( This whole situation just sucks... SHE'S MARRIED ?? I hate it when people say they've tried to go NC and they can't. Yes you could..you just don't want to. This situation is just as much your fault as it is hers. At least own up to that..and try harder. Block her number and her email address..that will stop you from waiting by your phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Nissu Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Hey I don't usually post but wanted to respond because I can really relate to your situation. I've recently been in a similar situation with a "taken" co-worker - not legally married but long-term living together. I wish I could say there is an easy way to get over it, past it and through it....there isn't! Reminding yourself that she's married, where she wants to be, made her choice, etc., does help. Plus put away your phone - good job marking her number as Do Not Call! If you can get a blocker app do that too so if she does reach out to you via text or call, you won't even have to know. These little steps do help! I know how hard it is....I really do. But you have to do it - for you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidjor Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 I have had feelings for her about 6 months, This situation just really does suck !! Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 at the end of the day..what she did was cheat on her husband. and thats a NO, NO. dont test karma because i heard she is a b****. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 OP, what advice are you looking for here? What "help" can we offer you" What answers are you hoping to find? What problem are you trying to solve? Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidjor Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 Ok, so I am still struggling with this NC thing. For some strange reason, My head knows exactally what to do however, my heart does just the opposite. For the life of me, I keep thinking I can remain friends with her. Granet, we have not had sex, just allot of flirting, some kissing (a month or so ago) and ****, we dont even see each other very often. (maybe once ever two or three weeks). Now, I am thinking maybe I should move away back to florida... Maybe that would help do the right thing.. :lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidjor Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 Agreed... TOTALLY... :-( Link to post Share on other sites
Nissu Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Ok, so I am still struggling with this NC thing. For some strange reason, My head knows exactally what to do however, my heart does just the opposite. For the life of me, I keep thinking I can remain friends with her. Granet, we have not had sex, just allot of flirting, some kissing (a month or so ago) and ****, we dont even see each other very often. (maybe once ever two or three weeks). Now, I am thinking maybe I should move away back to florida... Maybe that would help do the right thing.. :lmao::lmao: I SO relate!!! I'm in exactly the same place you are! I am struggling, trying to turn off the feelings & move on. In my case, my co-worker & I have acknowledged our feelings but its not changing anything. I likened him to a 2lb bag of M&Ms...I love chocolate but know if I eat the whole bag, I'll get a tummy ache & yet I can't stop eating the whole bag!!! I am finding that if you try to remain friends, it almost prolongs the agony of the relationship that can't be. Have you tried to approach NC as a means of "gaining" something (your heart/sanity back) instead of losing something (her)? Kinda like tricking your thought process & re-programming it. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Ok, so I am still struggling with this NC thing. For some strange reason, My head knows exactally what to do however, my heart does just the opposite. For the life of me, I keep thinking I can remain friends with her. Granet, we have not had sex, just allot of flirting, some kissing (a month or so ago) and ****, we dont even see each other very often. (maybe once ever two or three weeks). Now, I am thinking maybe I should move away back to florida... Maybe that would help do the right thing.. :lmao::lmao: Then stop letting your heart control your actions!!!!!! If you know what to do...THEN DO IT. It IS that simple. Perhaps not easy...but frankly you know what you need to do...and you are simply creating your own drama, your own pain by not "manning up" and doing what you know you need to do. Make a decision...then take action. I know I'm coming across as harsh, and to a degree I mean to. You need to stop passively sitting there complaining about the pain when you're not doing anything to change the situation!!! Or...admit you're right where you want to be, you're not going to change...so there's no further advice needed. Link to post Share on other sites
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