wasssntme Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 I started reading this message board in hopes of finding answers. I have found a few. But my situation is, well, my own. I am smart, educated and experienced in helping others with their problems~ so I should be able to figure this one out on my own.... but apparently I can't so here I am. Enough rambling. OK... here goes I am 33 years old and have been married almost 18 years. We have three sons together. Our oldest child is 14 ~ (Do the math) I wasn't pregnant when I got married. I was young and dumb. Our youngest child is special needs, and 7 years old. It's been a good marriage, we don't fight, we are never mean to each other, when we disagree it is never in front of the children. Early in our marriage (I was about 17) he started pressuring me to have sex with another woman. I was devastated at first. Then after years of badgering I gave in. At first I thought it was fun but always felt dirty and wounded after. In my mind it meant that I was never enough to satisfy him or keep him happy alone. Since that first time there have been three women, (it was fun for a moment) but each time I felt like less. Then a few months ago, I realized that I didn't care if he had sex with a hundred women. I just didn't care. I didn't want to be a part of it and I have only been able to have sex with him when I was drunk. *You'd think he would have picked up on this.* I started to leave two years ago but I wanted to go back to college and knew I couldn't do it alone with our special needs child. So I went back and we vowed to work on us. Then a month later he had another woman that he wanted me to "meet." I know ALL men want the 3 thing. But I have had it and it ain't all that. At least not from my point of view. What I need to know is; should I stay or should I go? I am not sure that I am still in love with him. I know that I love him, I have for more than half my life. But there has to be something out there for me. Yet, I can't stand the thought of hurting him. Seeing him in pain is hard for me. I listed this post under infidelity because I am thinking that if I had an affair I would feel better but I also know I would still have to live with myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 I don't think having an affair would help you. It would only confuse the situation more and give you more guilt to think about. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? Have you communicated with him how his various women affect you and that you don't think you're in love with him anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
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