Help! Need ideas on how to steal the girl

[sabotage]

Here goes...I am in need of some advice on how to steal the girl from her current boyfriend. Here is the readers digest version of the story. Met the young lady at work. She had a boyfriend at the time so we started off as just friends. Then she decided to break up with him for reasons other than myself. During the breakup i made my move. We got close, however the ex-boyfriend stayed in her life as her best friend. He started asking her if he could drive her to work..etc. The breakup has lasted about 6 weeks and she told me not to worry about him because they are just friends now. Well on Monday she told me that they are now spending time together in a more meaningful way if you catch my drift. By keeping his foot in the door he has apparently gotten the girl. She does however keep saying how confused she is and how she would like to be with me but she feels like she owes this guy a second chance. Is there any defense against the ex-boyfriend coming back? If there is i need you guys to let me know and quick. How do i steal her back?

[Mitch]

now. Well on Monday she told me that they are now spending time together in a more meaningful way if you catch my drift. By keeping his foot in the door he has apparently gotten the girl. ... How do i steal her back?

Keep your foot in the door.

 

And, tell her how she should really be with him.

 

----

 

Do you really want to deal with a woman this fickle?

 

I wouldn't.

[Tony T]

You deserve any heartbreak that you get. It's called karma. You sucked up to this girl as a friend and just waited for her to break up with her boyfriend, maybe even encouraged it a little, so you could come in for the kill.

 

Getting involved with someone who has just broken up in a relationship is not a good move. But you were her "friend" under false pretenses. You were not her real, honest friend. You remained there for the sole purpose of making it with her when the time was right. You were basically lying to her and to yourself. If these feelings developed over time, you should have removed yourself from the scene rather than interfere in an ongoing relationship she was in. Now you are wanting to continue to interfere.

 

"Stealing" lovers back and forth is pretty sick, as I see it. You don't "steal" someone's affections. This girl is a lot better off without you because your relationship started out all wrong and you were not up front with her.

 

Go look for someone you don't have to "steal." Outside of human relationships, stealing can be a felony crime, depending on the value of what is stolen.

 

By plotting like this, you bring very bad things to you. What goes around, comes around they say...like other guys standing around encouraging your girlfriend to break up with you so THEY can have a chance with her.

[Deejette]

This girl is keeping you both on the string and enjoying the game. How great to have two guys chasing after her! She even may be using you to make her boyfriend jealous, and vice versa.

 

So, if you want to save your pride, bow out.

You deserve any heartbreak that you get. It's called karma. You sucked up to this girl as a friend and just waited for her to break up with her boyfriend, maybe even encouraged it a little, so you could come in for the kill. Getting involved with someone who has just broken up in a relationship is not a good move. But you were her "friend" under false pretenses. You were not her real, honest friend. You remained there for the sole purpose of making it with her when the time was right. You were basically lying to her and to yourself. If these feelings developed over time, you should have removed yourself from the scene rather than interfere in an ongoing relationship she was in. Now you are wanting to continue to interfere. "Stealing" lovers back and forth is pretty sick, as I see it. You don't "steal" someone's affections. This girl is a lot better off without you because your relationship started out all wrong and you were not up front with her.

 

Go look for someone you don't have to "steal." Outside of human relationships, stealing can be a felony crime, depending on the value of what is stolen. By plotting like this, you bring very bad things to you. What goes around, comes around they say...like other guys standing around encouraging your girlfriend to break up with you so THEY can have a chance with her.

[Paulie]

I guess you and I have different opinions on the nature of love. I see love not as something you reap, or steal from someone,but as a gift we give to someone who we would like to share ourselves with.

 

You suggesting that you "steal" this woman back also objectifies her, to a great degree...sort of like suggesting that she is a "thing" to be posessed.

 

Lastly, how much self-esteem do you have, that you will let this loser girl toy around with you and keep you on a stick. As soon as she said that she's spending more "quality" time with the other guy, you should've let her tail go. Come on, Man...you deserve more happiness than this, don't you?

 

Because I agree with Tony, if you use underhanded manipulitive games in order to "steal her away," you deserve whatever heartbreak comes your way.

 

Later,

 

Paulie

 

Later, Paulie

[Confused in Freeman]

Okay, first of all I totally understand your situation only I am the girl. My situation is very similar to yours, infact I asked for advice on how to act just like you. (Scroll down the page and read the posting "I'm only one girl") I know that it is very confusing. I also want you to know that you are not a bad person for feeling this way. Love or what you think is love can act in very strange ways. Frankly sometimes it sucks. But that's life. My advice to you is to forget her. Seriously. I know what she is going through. She is confused. She probably totally has feelings for you and loves being with you, but she probably also has some amazing connection with her boyfriend. Otherwise she wouldn't keep going back to him. I know that it would have made my life a lot easier if the other guy would've have just left me alone. They deserve a chance to be together and time to devote just to each other. You deserve a chance to find someone who will totally concentrate on you as well. It will make everyone's lives easier if you just forget her. There are a lot of amazing people out there and you will find someone else. It won't be easy but just give it a try. In the long run it will be the right decision. Until then best of luck and keep your head up.

[sabotage to understanding]

okay confused in freeman. now that was the type of perspective that i was looking for. if you are still out there lets talk. the readers digest version didn't include the part where all along i was telling her that she should not leave her boyfriend for me and that i was not willing to do things with her while she was together with him. soon

 

after she left him and said that she was ready to date me. i told her that there was no way she could date me so soon after breaking up with her boyfriend. however because i really care about her she has a way of making me beleive whatever she says. well as you know she is now in the process of making up with the ex, but she is still telling me she wants to go out and if i am i am not willing to give up that i should be trying harder. she also said that she is still open to the possibility of us getting together and that she is still not sure that being with him is what she really wants. i am not the type of guy that actually does compete over a women but in this case isn't a relationship worth having also worth fighting for.

 

There is another twist to the relationship. she hasn't told him about me specifically or that she was interested in someone else at all. Do you still think that it would be better left alone. I understand that it would be easier for her. however i do not want to give her the easy way. i want her to be sure that this is what she wants because if she does go back to him (which isn't official) it will be over

 

between us on this end as well. i just don't want to lose her knowing that i didn't do everything that i could on my end. Let me know if you can relate to these things from your perspective. Your last message was a huge help! If you are still out there.....THANKS!!!

Okay, first of all I totally understand your situation only I am the girl. My situation is very similar to yours, infact I asked for advice on how to act just like you. (Scroll down the page and read the posting "I'm only one girl") I know that it is very confusing. I also want you to know that you are not a bad person for feeling this way. Love or what you think is love can act in very strange ways. Frankly sometimes it sucks. But that's life. My advice to you is to forget her. Seriously. I know what she is going through. She is confused. She probably totally has feelings for you and loves being with you, but she probably also has some amazing connection with her boyfriend. Otherwise she wouldn't keep going back to him. I know that it would have made my life a lot easier if the other guy would've have just left me alone. They deserve a chance to be together and time to devote just to each other. You deserve a chance to find someone who will totally concentrate on you as well. It will make everyone's lives easier if you just forget her. There are a lot of amazing people out there and you will find someone else. It won't be easy but just give it a try. In the long run it will be the right decision. Until then best of luck and keep your head up.

[Confused in Freeman]

Just so you know I've been gone over the weekend, but I will post a message later. Promise. I will try to help.

[Confused in Freeman]

I understand how confusing this all must be for you. Believe me the girl must be incredibly confused to. But what I don't understand is why the girl has never told her boyfriend about you. From the very beginning of my situation I made it very clear with my boyfriend that there was someone else. He wasn't happy, but he was and is very understanding. I worry in your case that her not telling him about you could mean trouble. Honesty means alot and if she can't tell him about you, but still keeps you in her life then if I were you I'd be worried about how much she is and could be lying. Cause if she's keeping you a secret she may be hiding or lying about other things. But I don't doubt that she truly feels something for you. Over the weekend I got in to a fight with my "other guy." I went home to visit my parents and as always I spent the weekend with my boyfriend. Well lately I've been feeling very smoothered by the other guy. He constanly calls and just stops by my place. Well he got mad at me cause I didn't really talk to him all weekend and didn't call him when I got home yesterday. Well to make it a short story I ended up telling him today that I thought maybe we shouldn't see each other as much anymore. After all he isn't my boyfriend.

 

I haven't received a response, but I'm afraid of how he will react. He has threatened things before but quite frankly I'm sick of a this b.s. Now I am in no way saying that this is the same thing as what you are going through. Cause frankly I hope you don't pull the same mind games that he pulls. I'm sure you don't. You seem a little more level headed. My suggestion to you right now is to ask her why she hasn't mentioned you to her boyfriend. Seriously cause it might indicate how much she really wants to be with you. Till then keep me updated and I will keep you updated. Good luck!

[neo]

really guys just forget about this girl. from a guys perspective who has been there i'm telling you this is not a situation you want to be in. eventually when it is over either way - you will loose a lot of respect for the girl and her 'flakiness'. just trust me cause you are in no condition to make rational decisions yourself. get out and you will be happier.