ssmith3427 Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Hi guys, I am confused. My ex-girlfriend contacted my brother about 2 weeks about via a facebook message. She basically said. Sorry for the random text, and that she has not spoken to me since the breakup, she asked if I was alright, and asked my brother not to tell me that she was asking about me because she didn't want to upset me. My brother told me today, and when he got the message 2 weeks ago he never replied. It's been about 4 and a half months since she broke up with me, and I just wanted to know what her intentions are to send that text. I am not looking to much into it, and the only way I will ever speak to her is if she texts me and says she is sorry, and wants to meet up. I still have feelings for her, she is my first love. But, I am doing so much better in my life now, and I have a date with a super-nice girl this month, but I am not sure if I am over my ex. I am still going to go on this date, and I am taking things super-slow. It's been 4 and a half months, things are a lot better, but I think I still have some type of feeling for my ex. Like I said I will not be contacting her or anything like that, but I want to know why she would send such a message? As a side-note, she befriended my dad about 2 and a half weeks ago. Looking for both girls and guys point of views on this one. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 She's throwing breadcrumbs your way. Perhaps her life is not going so great, so she's looking for an ego-stroke. I'd strongly advise you to ask your family and friends not to engage with her, nor tell her anything about you at all and especially not to tell you that she's been in touch. You don't need the pain. You are getting on with your life. Your ex is in your past and you want her to stay there. Yes, take it slow with the new girl. But be honest with yourself and her if you really can't handle a relationship right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Calico Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 If you have been with someone for some time, you don't just stop caring for them as a person even if you fall out of love with them and/or don't want to be with them anymore. What she did means exactly what it looks like: She wanted to know if you're doing all right. There's most likely nothing else to it. It does not mean that she is interested in getting back together with you. At most it means that she's feeling a little bad about not being friends, but that is already stretching it and I would shrug this off and not react to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Appleness Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Am I the only one that finds it weird that she befriends his dad? What's that all about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssmith3427 Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 Thanks for the input so far guys. I am not going to contact her unless she literally comes out and says that she made a massive mistake, she is really sorry, and that she wants to meet up and talk things through. I think the chances of the above are about 2%, and I am pretty sure this will not happen. So, I am just riding out the feelings here. It does suck that I still have feeling for her. I don't think she treated me very well, it was always her way or no way, and she prefered to be with her friends than me. There are a lot of things that when I look back make me cringe at how she treated me. I am not sure if she thinks she has done anything wrong, but I can not befriend someone who treated me so bad, no matter if I want to or not, and I do want to :/ She was a really bad girlfriend, she said this herself, and that I derserve better. It's annoying because I don't want better, I just want her. :/ I can't help think that if someone didn't treat you with love, care, trust, and respect in the relationship, you can be damn sure they will not make a friend of any reasonable level once you're out. The same person that doesn't give a damn about your feeling isn't going to give a hoot when it's over. I don't know if she is thinking about me, I think she might be thinking about herself. Still really open for input and advice guys. As a sidenote, she seems happy in her life, and I know she does not have a clue how or what I am doing. Maybe she is just curious, but it is safe to say I was pretty good to her, but in the end pretty good was just not good enough of she'd still be here. Link to post Share on other sites
I'm nuts Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 She's nuts, she treats you bad, then a little while later she asks if you're doing OK, humbug, typical selfish girly behaviour, ignore her. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 second-guessing motives is always a bad idea. Why? Because you can't. Just practise damage-limitation. Continue to ignore, and as suggested, ask everyone in your family to just let things be. If they must reply, tell them to tell her :"He doesn't want to know, and doesn't want to talk to you. I suggest you leave him be." But NOT to tell you about it. but you know.... people love drama. She asked your bro' to not tell you she made contact - and he told you. What was his motive for not complying with her request? "This could get interesting, let's just see what happens if I do tell him...." Act indifferent. And ignore, change the subject and step away from the keyboard! It's never about that they're doing; it's about how you respond. And the way you respond is - "meh"..... Link to post Share on other sites
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