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My husband is going bald and I'm not physically attracted to him anymore?

Anna876

By Anna876,
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Anna876

Anna876

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He's only 27 and already losing his hair. i don't mind when guys shave their heads but i dont like natural baldness. its a turn off. worse than wrinkles or grey hair or a beer belly. my husband is 6'0" and in great shape but he looked so much hotter when he had hair. its weird because i think his dad looks great for his age, he's 51, still has all his hair, and its not even totally grey. to be honest, im more attracted to him than to my husband. and when we were having sex i couldn't help thinking about someone from my work.

 

i'm so confused.

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kiss_andmakeup

kiss_andmakeup

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Ouch.

 

If the only thing it takes for you to do a complete 180 in terms of attraction is thinning/balding hair, I think you've got some personal issues to address. Especially considering this is your husband, whom you presumedly married for more than just his hairline.

 

You say you don't mind shaved heads...so why not see if he wants to shave his?

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kaylan

kaylan

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OP just have him shave it. Most people would agree that balding is a bad look and that a shaved head looks much better. Be honest with him but be gentle

B-B-But women arent that shallow and once they fall in love with you are attracted to you:laugh:
Didnt we JUST talk about this in another thread?

 

You are right though and as I said earlier...the myth that men care more about looks and less about personality than women comes down to sex drive. As time goes on and as more women embrace their sexuality (which has increased each decade since the 60s revolution), this myth wil fade.

 

From what Ive seen, men and women care as much about looks and personality when you control for sex drive. Higher drive males and females wont compromise on what it is that turns them on or off.

 

This is just how I see it though..and I think theres nothing wrong with men or women caring about looks.

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CptObvious

CptObvious

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us asian guys almost never lose our hair, my dad is 66 and he has all the hair he had 30 years ago. Too bad white women would never date a asian

 

cry harder. You're a joke bro, and them greazy lookin cartoon haircuts ya'll got going on just makes ya'll look like trannies.

 

Anyways, OP, you have 2 options:

 

1. Make him get hair implants

 

2. Divorce him, take all his money, and find a better man.

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ScreamingTrees

ScreamingTrees

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us asian guys almost never lose our hair, my dad is 66 and he has all the hair he had 30 years ago. Too bad white women would never date a asian

 

Funny, I thought you were black, what with the thread you made about black people. You're quite the character, I'll give you that much.

 

My only bit of advice to you should try to be more proud of being Asian, what you ARE no matter what, rather than trying to put a group of people on a pedestal that you don't even belong to.. Sounds like self hatred to me, you should work on that. :confused::(

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ScreamingTrees

ScreamingTrees

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He does shave his head its just i dont think it really suits him at all. if you saw how much he changed by losing his hair....

 

Then get a divorce. You obviously don't love him enough to work around it, and you shouldn't try to accept something that deep down you know you can't.. Just don't tell him why, you don't need him to have a complex over something he probably suspects is an issue anyway..

 

Send him off with a clear mind, not every girl is going to see it as a problem, so don't give him a complex that doesn't have to develop.. It'll only make it harder for him to find someone who does accept him when you let this fish go..

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CptSaveAho

CptSaveAho

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and when we were having sex i couldn't help thinking about someone from my work.

 

i'm so confused.

 

GIGS is fun..... you should jump aboard and enjoy your ride

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Disenchantedly Yours

Disenchantedly Yours

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One day you too will begin having things happen to your body that may make you unattractive to him. Perhaps you will gain weight, grow hair on your nipples, get sagging breasts or grey hair and wrinkles.

 

Why don't you focuson the things you do like about your husband physically and emotionally. You clearly had to have married him for more than just his hair.

 

If you are this unhappy about something like his hair, I can't imagine you will be there to support him through the more difficult things that will come your way as a married couple in the future.

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Necris

Necris

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sounds like you are having feelings of sexual lust toward your coworker or possibly your husband's father and using your husband's hair as an excuse to validate your claim that he's ugly and everybody else isn't so you can feel good about not wanting him anymore.

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crazylove

crazylove

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us asian guys almost never lose our hair, my dad is 66 and he has all the hair he had 30 years ago. Too bad white women would never date a asian

 

 

Umm, i am!! :D

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CheezDoodle

CheezDoodle

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The divorce rate is the way it is because people like the OP enter it blindly.

 

You should have just married his hair and left him at the altar....

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kaylan

kaylan

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One day you too will begin having things happen to your body that may make you unattractive to him. Perhaps you will gain weight, grow hair on your nipples, get sagging breasts or grey hair and wrinkles.

 

Why don't you focuson the things you do like about your husband physically and emotionally. You clearly had to have married him for more than just his hair.

 

If you are this unhappy about something like his hair, I can't imagine you will be there to support him through the more difficult things that will come your way as a married couple in the future.

Attraction isnt a choice, and at their age, should someone really compromise their sexual desires when there are many healthy looking sexy folks out there.

 

You cannot help what you are attracted to, and yes everyone ages...but that doesnt mean everyone has to or will become less attractive.

 

OP cant control what gets her revved up.

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Pyro

Pyro

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And I am sure you haven't gained a pound since marriage. I am sure if we get your husband on this board and asked him to be candid, I am sure he will have alot to say about you. I don't even know you and deemed you not marriage material. Please tell me you have kids. Because those mommy marks are a huge turn off, maybe he should think about you as a huge turn off.

 

You avatar fits your responses in this thread.:laugh:

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kaylan

kaylan

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The OP has to understand that people age, she should of thought of that when she took her vows, did she think he will look the same forever ? Although the divorce rate is high, don't people get married for the right reasons like growing old together?

Hes 27 though. People age, but hes 27.

 

Look, attraction is not a choice....and if someone becomes unattractive to you, you cannot force yourself to feel desire for them. OP is not a bad person for feeling the way she does. Fact of the matter is youth is attractive to both men and women, and balding is a sign of aging and its not attractive and is hard to overlook during the prime years of your 20s.

 

People like you who will complain about attraction being a factor in partnering, seem to think we should all date people solely on personality. Physical appeal is part of why we mate. Theres no way around it.

 

Do people expect me to date and sleep with someone whos gained weight, and that I find unattractive, all because we have a personality that clicks?

 

I think she should try to work things out. But if she cant flip the attraction around, she doesnt waste her or his time.

 

PS - I am partly thinking this may be a troll thread, because who gets attracted to a guys father whos twice his age, all because of some head hair?

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Mme. Chaucer

Mme. Chaucer

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Wow. Women really are shallow and heartless. Good thing a brand new member showed up to illustrate this for all of us so succinctly.

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Necris

Necris

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Attraction isnt a choice, and at their age, should someone really compromise their sexual desires when there are many healthy looking sexy folks out there.

 

You cannot help what you are attracted to, and yes everyone ages...but that doesnt mean everyone has to or will become less attractive.

 

OP cant control what gets her revved up.

 

You can control and should be able to control your own thoughts or at the very least be able to tame your more animalistic urges.

 

Yes you should compromise your sexual desires when you are married, its terrible when people don't think this, a marriage can't work if people are going to be that loose. Like a guy saying "my wifes breasts aren't big enough so I'm going to divorce her for that girl with the big tits." Or a woman having an affair with the ripped muscular charismatic guy because her husband just isn't hot enough anymore. That's shallow, heartless, and stupid. OP, this is a serious question, did you marry your husband or his hair?

 

No wonder divorce in America is so high no one gives marriage the respect it deserves and people lack basic self-control and discipline. Its till death do us part, not until a hotter person comes along.

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AmeliePoulain

AmeliePoulain

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The guy I am dating now is bald. I never thought I'd date someone who was bald. At first I wasn't attracted to him, couldn't stop looking at his head when he wasn't looking. It didnt take long to get over it, now I think he looks very hot bald. I've seen photos of him younger (he's 28 now) and he was super attractive with hair, but he's still hot now. I just wasn't used to it but now I kiss his forehead everyday now and he loves it. He has a nice goatee too. I think it's just new for you but eventually you will not think of his baldness as unattractive. Sometimes it's hard to adjust to change. Imagine if you had long hair and cut it like a bob, some people might not think its attractive because they were so used to your long hair but it'll be one more thing he finds attractive for you eventually, just takes some time.

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KraftDinner

KraftDinner

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And I am sure you haven't gained a pound since marriage. I am sure if we get your husband on this board and asked him to be candid, I am sure he will have alot to say about you. I don't even know you and deemed you not marriage material. Please tell me you have kids. Because those mommy marks are a huge turn off, maybe he should think about you as a huge turn off.

 

Why so much anger toward the OP? She's asking a question, not trying to offend you personally.

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JayL

JayL

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He's only 27 and already losing his hair. i don't mind when guys shave their heads but i dont like natural baldness. its a turn off. worse than wrinkles or grey hair or a beer belly. my husband is 6'0" and in great shape but he looked so much hotter when he had hair. its weird because i think his dad looks great for his age, he's 51, still has all his hair, and its not even totally grey. to be honest, im more attracted to him than to my husband. and when we were having sex i couldn't help thinking about someone from my work.

 

i'm so confused.

 

I don't think I'd ever want to get married anymore if women in my generation think this way...

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