Balzac Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 You present as if unwilling to help yourself. Lots of excuses in my reading your posts. Weeks have elapsed and it seems you have yet to learn the rules. The bottom line on "afford" is that once he filed, the money clock stops ticking. At some soon-to-be moment, you'll be funding your life w whatever funds or no funds are split between you. Is this a file divorce before bankruptcy filing? That's what you imply. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 In that case, screw his papers, and just play along. Go to your own experienced attorney, file, asking him to be vacated from premises. Go to a different doctor - or go to ER. Do that right away. Unless you think they will check you in -- if so, then visa versa. You have more control this way. Put it on a credit card. It really is dumb to sign anything without having your own representation advise you - I hope you get that. It's really up to you. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Do you think he wants to divorce and still live there because he doesn't want to be the one to abandon the home? Maybe he is thinking if he divorces he will be able to date others, do what he wants and then OP will be forced to leave because she can't take it anymore and he will end up with the home. Do you think this is possible? I don't think I could stay with someone who was so adamant about not wanting me anymore. I would be happy to give them a divorce and live in a hollow log. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Equity in said home would be a consideration. Any existing mortgage is likely joint debt. In my mind "possession" of a home is relative to whom debt service is assigned to. In most instances of financially limited couples, the house is sold to free up equity and get out from mortgage debt. It's not as easy as last man standing at the threshold. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 If the OP lives in Nevada, which was/is hammered by the fallout of easy money, I seriously doubt there's any equity to divide, more likely debt forgiveness to address. In Cali, any answer to the court is considered a contest, with uncontested being delineated by silence from the case respondent during the period to answer. Our case was uncontested to default with MSA, meaning an agreement, or else a judge would have ruled on the default. This meant I, who we chose to be respondent, did not answer the lawsuit. It then proceeded to requesting a judgment based upon the MSA, which was granted. My exW could have proceeded without my agreement, 'forcing' the judgment by operation of law with a judge signing the appropriate orders. Hiring an attorney would make this a contested divorce, something he wants to avoid. It would only become contested if the attorney filed an answer with the court addressing issues in the original lawsuit. An attorney can assist in an uncontested matter, as well as with mediation and an agreement which the parties file with the court. If you interview an attorney, they will provide all the relevant local procedural information your are interested in, in general, for free during that interview. The court self-help can also assist, if one exists in your court. The 20 day clock to answer starts when the court clerk accepts and stamps the proper initial filing from one of the parties/their lawyers. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Get an attorney fast. You may be entitled to alimony. You do not know any of your rights about the home until the judge gives the final word. Your husband may have to pay your mortgage - or buy you out. No one knows jack right now. The judge is the boss, no one here on LS can predict what the judge will do - no matter how much knowledge they have - judge decides, period. Conduct of your husband may be a factor in judges's decision, you never know. That is why your conduct must be perfect. Don't be a pushover - your husband is just trying to bully and intimidate you. Get a female attorney. And see your doctor for the stress, and emotional strain you are experiencing - pronto. No excuses. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Oh, forgot one thing about the clock.....it starts when the lawsuit is served in proper legal form upon the respondent. Sorry about that. In some jurisdictions, that can take a few days, perhaps up to a week, depending on form of service. My exW used the sheriff, so I saw a nice deputy a couple days after filing. Worked perfect and was only 35 bucks. We split the filing and service fees. Link to post Share on other sites
AllieKat Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 You present as if unwilling to help yourself. Lots of excuses in my reading your posts. Weeks have elapsed and it seems you have yet to learn the rules. The bottom line on "afford" is that once he filed, the money clock stops ticking. At some soon-to-be moment, you'll be funding your life w whatever funds or no funds are split between you. Is this a file divorce before bankruptcy filing? That's what you imply. Why is it that if one party in a marriage isnt ok with getting divorced or is having a hard time with it ppl feel the need to point out what they preceive as excuses? Its crap! This is whats wrong with marriage IMO some ppl treat it as though its a game, (yet to learn the rules?? Give me a break) and you should just be ok if you lose! Empty my advice is take care of you first especially your health issues you cant let that go. If your good to yourself through this you wont have as many regrets. Ive read in here a lot of ppl saying they wish they hadnt done this or that and they wish they had put themselves first instead of games or the spouses feeings. I hope you will be ok ;-) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FocusOnMe Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Equity in said home would be a consideration. Any existing mortgage is likely joint debt. In my mind "possession" of a home is relative to whom debt service is assigned to. In most instances of financially limited couples, the house is sold to free up equity and get out from mortgage debt. It's not as easy as last man standing at the threshold. This is basically what my situation is ...the house will be sold along with other stuff, furniture, and debts will be paid, hopefully, if we walk away with some kind of profit.....:/ Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 The time line as we both know is critical. The OP has been unclear on this forum about the timeline. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EmptyinNV Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 We have no assets to divide, he's taking all the debt. We rent a place, don't own anything. He's asking me to sign on Monday, he'll mail Tuesday, we'll be divorced in 30 days. He wants me to stay here because of our son, and he feels guilty that he's putting me through this. I ONLY moved to this place because of him, I've followed him around to every duty station he's had with 0 compliant. Alliekat, thank you. Marriage isn't a game, it took 2 to get married and this will take 2 to get divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EmptyinNV Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 And of course I'm coming up with any excuse I can to not agree to this divorce. I'm NOT ready to agree to a divorce. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Why should I have to throw away everything I have ever known in 4 weeks? He's apparently had plenty of time to prepare for this divorce and is demanding I be just as ready in 4 weeks? I'm not trying to keep him, he's completely free to go. However, I deserve more explanation and time. I'd LOVE to go before a judge, his idea of uncontested is me just running out with him to the nearest notary, raise my right hand and swear I'm over it to make him happy? I agree with you. You need as least as much time as he had to decide upon divorce and come to acceptance of it. Especially considering he does not seem in any particular hurry to leave the home. Take your time. Don't let him rush you through this process. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EmptyinNV Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 Thank you for all the kind advice. I told him today, I will sign when I'm ready, he can always have me served and we can go to court or he can chill out for a minute, and let me have my time. The truth of why he's in such a rush will come out, it always does. I've made some plans for myself, I'm looking forward to putting them into motion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EmptyinNV Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 Coop, I'm not interested in making him "love me", I'm just asking for more than a month to figure out my plans,get my health in order before losing my health insurance and to think things clearly. Besides, I don't agree with things in the decree, so it has to be retyped anyways He's confused, going through something and probably thinks the grass will be so much better, it'll hit him in the gut so hard one day when he realizes I/our family was worth the fight. He and I spent all day Friday together without our son, it was odd. He tries to sleep in our bed, he tries to have sex with me. Yet he wants a divorce as soon as he can get one. Link to post Share on other sites
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