huntingirl2010 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 That men say they don't want kids, but once they realize their wife or girlfriend is pregnant they can't wait? I told my fiance that I don't want kids until I am older and more stable, but he says he never wants a baby. I want 2 of them and the reasoning behind why he doesnt want one is that he wont be able to do what he wants to do anymore. also they are expensive and I will make him pay for it by himself. which is not true. but i was wondering if he will come around when I eventually want one and it happens... Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 A bigger gamble than I would be comfortable taking if I am honest. It works out sometimes, but some people really MEAN IT when they say they don't want kids. And they have every right to hold that view. I think you and he should talk more. If you are clear that you want children then either he agrees to go along with that or you must find someone whose life goals are more aligned to your own. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minka333 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 It depends on the man. Their priorities change with time. But most of them won't be able to resist these cute little babies staring at em' with those big innocent eyes anyways.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author huntingirl2010 Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 yeah. its just that he is 27 almost and i am 20... so i told him i want one when i get to be 25-27 so he would be like 32-34..... Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 yeah. its just that he is 27 almost and i am 20... so i told him i want one when i get to be 25-27 so he would be like 32-34..... And...? Is that too old, in his eyes, too young? Or he hates the idea regardless? What will you do if your only opportunity to have children is to leave him and eventually settle down with someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
Author huntingirl2010 Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 i have never asked him if its too old/young, but idk that i could leave him. i would have to give up kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 i have never asked him if its too old/young, but idk that i could leave him. i would have to give up kids. I think you should be able to talk about these things with someone you're thinking if staying with. You should know his reasons and thoughts. It would be a big sacrifice, in my view, to give up parenthood for a partner. It does sometimes backfire on people. As you get older you'll probably need to think about this more and more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jayden89 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 According to my views definitely it totally depends upon man Link to post Share on other sites
shayla Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 If being a mother is something you want to do, you may need to find a different man. What happens if you give up on having children, the two of you don't work out, then he goes on to have children with someone else? You have to decide what is right for you. If you make that sacrifice for someone else, you will have cheated yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Listen to what he tells you. I often, as we all do, make the mistake of thinking "he will change" and they never do. Sure, its possible, but don't ever plan your life around someone hopefully changing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I'd say if you're not planning on kids in the next year or so, don't push it. The mentality of a 27 year old male will be different than a 35 year old. When going out on the weekends seems boring to the person, then kids might be more inviting. However, I would make it very clear you want kids in your life...and if he's solid on "no kids" that he should then be ready to lose you as you'll go out to seek a man who wants a family. Link to post Share on other sites
CarboniteCammy Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 There is a difference between not wanting kids, and just not wanting kids with the person you're currently dating. I dated a guy before I met my husband who was on the fence about having kids. I, on the other hand, was pretty sure I wanted them. As the relationship progressed, I realized I did not ever want to have kids with my ex boyfriend. He had many traits that I was ok with for the time being, but which didn't jive with what I wanted for my future kids' father. He was really lazy at home, basically gave me all of the responsibility for taking care of his pet, and would react with extreme negative emotion when asked to help out. He was also really stingy with what money he did make, and facing facts, kids are alot of work and alot of money. Especially if you want to have more then one, which I did/still do. When I was ready to finally settle down and have kids, I left him and found someone more suitable for my long term relationship goals. My suggestion is to ask whether he can see himself being a father. Don't try to trap him into being a dad, because you'll make your life, your kids' lives, and his life miserable by doing so. If you two don't agree, leave and find someone who shares your goals. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts