Thierro Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) I have a lot of issues. I'm seeing a psychologist about it, but I don't feel like it's working. I gave him a list to work with, but he keeps rationalizing every aspect of it. I know what he is trying to do. The list contained several key points: -I don’t want my girlfriend to have any friends -I feel sick to my stomach when she uses Facebook, Twitter -I am incredibly insecure when she goes out with friends and meets other people -I never feel good enough; trying to be perfect -I always think she has one foot out of the door and will leave me without a doubt -I want the both of us to live in a bubble, separated from the rest of the world -I need her to need me; to be extremely dependent. -I want to lead a girl, dominate a girl, I want to be too much of a daddy figure to her -I have incredibly high expectations -I'm ALWAYS creating my own self-fulfilling prophecy's Some of you gave me the advice to see a therapist, but I expected more from him. I know this is about me and my insecurities.. Can I really change who I am? I don’t see that happening any time soon. It hurts them, it hurts me. It makes me tired and want to give up on trying. P.s- I decided to write this, because when I wanted to send my girlfriend an e-mail, I saw a picture of her in the sidebar (some sort of avatar in Gmail). She was smiling and holding a card in her hands with LOVE. It crushed me. It actually hurt. It’s ridiculous. I need to let this go... for her sake. Edited October 5, 2012 by Thierro Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I'm sorry you're not doing well...I don't really have much advice, but I can relate to some of the things you feel. I do believe 100% that you can change. I had lots of issues from childhood and some things that happened to me as a young adult. I did 9 years of therapy, and to be honest, went through a dozen of therapists until I found the one who made sense to me. It can be a long process. During that time I also read lots of self-help books. You seem to want to change, which is always the best place to start right? I was able to change drastically. I don't know if this will help or not, but I looked up the various approaches of therapy. Here's a link, but I"m sure you can find others: Different approaches to psychotherapy For me the holistic style approach worked the best, I found an art therapist, but she was also very knowledgeable about behaviour therapy, I think I got lucky. She helped me tremendously. I told her that I wanted to be actively involved, meaning, I wanted her to give me "homework" so that I could work on myself when I got home too, not just in the 55 minutes at her office. Maybe you need to research the type of therapy that you think will help you the most, then try to find one who uses that approach? Link to post Share on other sites
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