Still fighting (pretty long)

[AlexC]

This is the first time I've done this...shared my story with others, I mean. I wanted to do this because (yes, this will sound over-dramatic) I want to give other people hope, and to show that it's not so hard to keep fighting your corner.

I guess I'll start from the beginning.

I'm a orphan. Both my parents had died by the time I was three months, so obviously I was taken into Care. Growing up in Care isn't the best thing ever - you're one of many, and none of us get the attention we need. I was always the small, quiet kid, and therefore an easy target. I was bullied, but nothing I can complain about really - there are worse case scenarios, if you know what I mean.

When I was six a couple came over wanting a kid, old enough so not to rely on the parents for absolutely everything, but young enough to be influenced (even to this day I don't get what that means, so I'll leave it to you to decide) and it seemed I was the kid they were looking for.

They were a young couple, and took me out whenever they could, and I liked them. I trusted them enough to call them 'Mum' and 'Dad' though I was repeatedly told they weren't my real parents, it felt right. Anyway, after all the legal stuff was done, they adopted me just before my 7th birthday

We in a small flat together, me, mum and dad (George). It was good at first. George would buy me stuff, take us all out, that kind of thing, be a real family man. I was bullied at school, but this didn't affect me much cos I was just so happy to have a family. George got me into all the sport (I still do that now) so build a 'bulky son' - yes, those were his words. I didn't mind; I just wanted to keep my mum and dad.

Then my whole little world was destroyed.

George started drinking. Really drinking. he'd get violent and abusive when he staggered into the flat at 2am, cursing and yelling. He used to beat mum badly. I was terrified and messed myself often, which would start off the incredible hulk again. He left me with mum bleeding all over the floor, and so I cried like any other 7 year old - I was just so scared. Mum refused to tell anyone, or even see a doctor. She would drag herself up in the morning and act like nothing had happened. Until George started on me.

Despite all the sport I do, and how healthy I am, I still have to have physio on my knee and foot twice a week. George's fault. Mum got rid of him after that. She got me to the hospital in time, but made me lie about how I'd done it.

After George left, mum and I spent a few months on our own. I loved that time with mum just me and her, and we'd spend all our time together that we could. She worked but would try and pick me up from school and stuff, and would try and stay as long as she could on weekends. Mum did care about me, and still does, I guess that things just haven't gone to plan is all.

Terry came along after a few months. He was just like George at first, but I loathed him. I hated him with a passion, because I just knew he'd turn out to be horrible.

Unfortunatly I was right.

Terry promised mum a holiday to Mexico, but because of work he had to stay a week behind. Mum went ahead and so Terry promised to take me with him.

F***ing liar.

I was eight when he did this to me.

He told me he knew I hated him, and that he hated me back. there was no way he would take me on holiday, so the psycho locked me in the flat for a week with no food, three cans of beer and no money. I was scared sick. I wouldn't go to sleep, I wouldn't take a shower and I didn't know how to work the heating. I was stuck, starving, for four days (mum insisted on coming home early - she thought Terry had put a carer with me)

I won't go into details, but the hospital said my condition was so bad I was put on some sort of drip thing for a week (I don't like to remember this) and then I was whipped into Care again.

This is getting painful so I'll speed up.

Mum got rid of Terry, and somehow managed to get me back a year later. She was still on her own but had a baby girl, just a few months. I was the one who had to look after her, and she unfortunately died after catching some nasty disease (RIP Kayla xxx)

I later learned mum was a prostitute. i didn't say anything. The social came round a few times, but mum was always there when they came. They asked me about her but, like I said, I didn't say anything about her 'work'

Mum fell pregnant again and little Sophie was born. When Sophie was about two, mum got her new boyfriend James. Mum fell pregnant with James's baby, Junior.

James was a drug dealer. He got me into drugs when I was 12, and mum found out when I was 13.

They were definitely the worst years of my life.

I was battling traumas of my younger days which I still had nightmares about and scars to look at, looking after two young kids (and mum) school work and exams and now drug abuse.

Mum was an absolute angel, and battled through those years with me. I managed to stop the drugs just before my 16th birthday.

I moved out at 16, to a flat near mum's. I know I sound terrible now, but really, I needed my own space. I still looked after Mum, Sophie and Junior. I was a full time carer, I suppose, with everything else piled on top.

That, and a was a father-to-be.

My girlfriend, Alice, was pregnant with my baby. We had been together for a year before it happened, and I stayed with her after she told me. After nine months of painful waiting, by baby girl Jess was brought into the world

In the end, everything turned out ok.

Yes, I still think about those times, and I still have physical and mental scars, but I dealt with it as best I could and grabbed everything life had to offer. Now I'm 21, my (wife) Alice is expecting other and I still live in my flat with her and Jess, with mum (grangran to Jess) Sophie and Junior across the road. I worked hard at school and am currently a law student (I'll keep the uni to myself ;P)

Thanks for reading, and I'll be happy to talk to anyone who thinks it necessary

Thanks

Alex

[The_Face]

That's a pretty wild story. Sorry to hear about your tough time.

 

What was your question? Or did you just want to vent? Either way, good luck to you in your current situation.

[CopingGal]

Sorry you went through so much. My best friend was an orphan. He went to live in a children's home and was bullied and beat up on a regular basis. It was horrible, horrible for him. Sorry you went through that.

[AlexC]

i didn't have a question, just wanted to post this so people who are going through something similar know they're not alone. I always thought I was, until I got speaking to some guy at a cafe i used to work at, and he went through something similar.

Thanks man

[AlexC]

sorry to hear about your friend

Yeah...Care isn't great. It might've changed now, but still, no kid should go through that.