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why has it taken a year to realize the extent of my injuries?


TheCollector

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Ok I'm gonna contact the OM in a little while. Everybody wish me luck that he will cooperate with me and bring me some truths.

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Easier to just have your W take that polygraph and ask her numerous questions!

 

Bottom line is - there's no foundation to your M because you can't trust her!

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Ok so this is what he has said back so far....

 

 

I'm sorry for what happened I have had to live with that thought for a while now and I feel like the worst person alive. You were the best friend that I ever had and I threw it all away. I don't know what's going on or how you even still have my number but I've done enough damage in your life so I feel like the best thing I could do for both of us is just not speak of it. Again I am truly sorry and I hope that this doesn't upset you further.

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I'd be tempted to say, "She is claiming that you forced yourself on her. Do you still want to protect her? I feel like I deserve the truth."

 

Your call, dude. I'm not sure why you aren't just divorcing her at this point. Do you really think you have a truly remorseful and honest spouse right now?

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me-Do you know who this is?

 

Him Arron.

 

Me Wrong. Do you have some time? Or are you at work

 

Him I'm at work but I can text.

 

Me This is NOT meant to be confrontational... This is Tyler. I want to hear your side of the story... I want to know when, where, and how many times. Before you said you could show and tell me things that I wouldn't believe. Care to share now? Do you still have them?

 

Him I'm sorry for what happened I have had to live with that thought for a while now and I feel like the worst person alive. You were the best friend that I ever had and I threw it all away. I don't know what's going on or how you even still have my number but I've done enough damage in your life so I feel like the best thing I could do for both of us is just not speak of it. Again I am truly sorry and I hope that this doesn't upset you further.

 

Me The best thing you could do for me is tell me the truth. I need to know and I deserve to know

 

Him I can't remember when it was fall last yr sometime. At my place and twice.

 

Me You say twice... 2 separate occasions? .....any other contact of that nature at all???

 

Him yes separate occasions and no

 

Me nothing at my house besides the kiss?

 

Him Nothing at your house.

 

Me How long did she continue talking to you after the night I found out? Did she ever send you any pictures of her self? When was the last time you spoke to her/text?

 

Him Maybe 2 months at the most and that's probably a stretch. The last I heard from either one of you was the night that skyrim came out last year.

 

Me Did she ever send you any pictures of herself?

 

Him Just one I think

 

Me what was the picture of please

 

Him her breast.

 

Me do you happen to still have it?

 

Him Nope I deleted it off of a phone I no longer have.

 

Me can you tell me what her plans were before I found out?

 

Him her plans regarding what exactly?

 

Me What she wanted to do with you or about you. Relationship wise

 

Him Well pretty much when we got close enough to talk alone she confided in me that she thought you were the worst husband/partner that there could possibly be. With that said she was planning on filing for a divorce before any of this happened and she planned to either go with me or go to her mother's.

 

Me And given that she sent you a picture I assume she sent you sexual texts as well? How many times? Did she start it or you?

 

Him I have no idea how many times and I guess it was started mutually I can't point fingers and neither can she.

 

Me but multiple times

 

Him yes

 

Me One last question first no oral sex whatsoever?

 

Him once

 

Me when and where

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Me so sex twice and oral once correct?

 

Him I don't remember and yes I think.

 

Me What do you mean you don't remember? It's not something you forget. Please answer Ok you have NO REASON TO LIE about anything here do you swear this is the whole truth? Now to tell you why I contacted you Where was I when the oral happened?

 

Him I don't remember when or where but I would assume at my place. Is everything between you two ok? I'm assuming not. : I have no clue where you were I honestly can't remember.

 

Me The reason I contacted you is because recently she totally changed her story.... She now claims "you forced yourself on her" and it was only once and that she was too afraid to fight back. She also claims you shoved her to the ground once and that she was afraid of you. I wanted to see how your stories add up. All I ask is that you don't try to contact her about this I WILL HANDLE IT.

 

Him : Well I can assure you that I was not violent. I'm sorry your still having trouble with it. I wish you nothing but the best you are a good man.

 

Me You will never know the agony the two of you have put me through. Every day is is full of anger and wonder and horrible thoughts. I hope it truly bothers you for a long time. Not that it really matters. The damage has been done. The two of you ruined my life and my daughters before she was even born. I literally loaded a shotgun and drove to your house on one occasion with the full intent of killing you. Sat in the driveway even. And the only thing that stopped me was the thought of my poor little girl growing up without her father. It was that bad for me... Next time you consider another man's wife you might not be so lucky. remember that.

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So what's your big plan in moving forward?

 

Looks like your W lied some more - I doubt he raped her.

 

Get a paternity test and have her take the polygraph.

Edited by 2sunny
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Geas, think I would have left that last text out. But I also understand.

 

I don't think you learned anything definitive here since it's all just what he "says." If you still feel you need to "know" something more, do as Sunny says and schedule the polygraph. Your wife will confess on the way there. And schedule a paternity test.

 

My personal gut says that your W willingly partook in this affair and she's just doing damage control with you right now. She's trying to manage and manipulate you and she has no problem lying to you in order to do it. If you need proof in order to believe it, go get it.

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It is hard to not ask the OM for his side of the story.

 

Because they either lie to hurt the BH and blow everything up.

 

Or the minimize everyting to do damage control.

 

Rarely do they tell the honest truth.

 

Time to set up a poly graph appointment and tell your WW about your conversation with the OM.

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The final text was NOT intended to be an actual threat. Just to explain how dangerous this type of situation can be AND WAS.....I felt I needed to say it....

 

What motive would he have to lie for her now? Especially after I informed him of her accusations.

 

I'm not sure what to believe but I feel he is more than likely telling at least most of the truth.

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The final text was NOT intended to be an actual threat. Just to explain how dangerous this type of situation can be AND WAS.....I felt I needed to say it....

 

What motive would he have to lie for her now? Especially after I informed him of her accusations.

 

I'm not sure what to believe but I feel he is more than likely telling at least most of the truth.

 

What difference would any of that make? Your tramps wife is using and abusing you - yet you just beg for more...

 

Divorce her! Or quit complaining about being her willing doormat.

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