RambleOn Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 So where to start? i guess the quick backstory is we have had a rough relationship but...we've made it through. I personally havn't been the best..no cheating but, but I didn't fully intergrate her into my life. We got past that and a few other rough spots and now we happen to be in a ldr (since january) I'm on east coast shes in the cali bay area. When she moved out there we were not together, but i thought that we came to realization that we really do belong together and that I would work to get ou there with her. The plan for a the last 5 months was that I would be there in January. Since then i have flown to cali 3 times and we had a vacation in las vegas. its not perfect but i thought it was working. Here's my problem...since shes been in california she has increased her party life significantly. I dont mind the increased drinking or social life but i do have a problem with some of her drug use. The one that bothers me is molly/mdma because her main group of friends are all guys. Now she has assured me that she would never do anything with them and that they are just friends. But i also know that two of the three definitely have feelings for her. Early on when we were apart she made out with one who she realized was not a good idea and was better suited as a friend and i buy that. The other one I have more of a problem with. Lately they have been spending a lot of time together... more than a regular friendship in my opinion. They both took a trip earlier in the week to a concert 4 hours away from them and ended up getting a hotel and staying the night. She found out in the morning that they would be getting a hotel but i didn't find out until around 930 ET (630pt) i only got 2 more texts for the rest of the night (i work night shift so our schedules kind of match) then she went off the grid. She didn't want to tell me because i had already said that i didn't like that he slept over her place when it was just them and no-one else. It made me uneasy. She didnt agree. Tonight (havn't slept yet) they went to another concert together with this guy and the plan was to do ecstasy then go back to her house and cook and roll. I had a very big problem with this and she doesn't really understand why. After a long talk last night and today i said fine ill trust you that hes a good guy and you wont do anything but please she assures me shes not going to do anything but i cant tell. I went to hang out with some friends and sent her a text at 830 that i was grabbing a few beers and that im around and not to be a stanger tonight again. Heres our communication for the night... tell me am i crazy, whats going on here? last communication with her was at 830p et 12:01a her: im heeeere me: awesome feelin good? her: very so high me: nice baby enjoy the show 2:43a her: smoked so much me: you floating the the stratosphere? (read 2:56) technology is a bitch sometimes then i heard nothing... it was only an hour drive and to the venue so i know there was car time to get a response or anything she wasnt driving so theres plenty of opportunity. at 530a i broke and texted her that i was going to bed realizing that i was probably not going to get anything from her for the night. are you ok? i havnt heard from you much, im sure you're good and having fun but id like to know. her: im sorry!! im hella high drunk e weed but i gotta go okay? we are good, just chillin thats pretty much it i dont know what to say to that. i understand space and trust but is she totally abusing mine or am i over thinking and overreacting? any help or view on this would be appreciated. thanks for reading that was way longer than i thought it would be. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 dating someone that far away, with a drug habit? With guys around her like bees round a honey-pot? No. I wouldn't. Not on your nelly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RambleOn Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 I said it to avoid a fight right now? like if we have a fight what would that accomplish? why not just be like ok, and know that we'll have to talk about it in the morning? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RambleOn Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 was i supposed to say eat **** and die? i posted because i dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 RambleOn, frankly, maybe your attitude should be a little sterner. Why shy away from confrontation? Do you approve of her behaviour? Are you happy with it? Why try to pacify her? Your own approach is questionable, because frankly, by being so laid-back, you give tacit approval and you enable her behaviour. If you suddenly turn the tables on her now, she's going to justifiably think you've lost the plot. You are partially responsible for the way things are developping. you have no 'boundaries' - so she's gaily stomping over where they should be. Ditch her. A person like this is immature, unreliable, untrustworthy - and a potential addict is not someone you want to take home to meet the folks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RambleOn Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 Thanks for your advice tara, maybe i have gotten myself into this jam but i was trying to compromise... guess i gave too much wiggle room. lets see how this convo goes... Link to post Share on other sites
Onionator Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 I second what Tara said. I'm not sure what your "type" is but personally I look for girls(and hopefully have already found) that I would "wife". A girl that parties and does drugs as much as she does is not someone you will be spending the rest of your life with. Maybe she'll be that wifeable girl in the future, but not right now. Link to post Share on other sites
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