Ladies, do women really like it when men share their issues and insecurities?

[TaraMaiden]

Read this. then well talk.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I don't understand the point of posts like this. OP, we all know what you think and where you are coming from. Of course you are entitled to believe whatever you wish, and to conduct your life as you see fit.

 

But why come here, ask what people think, and then tell everyone (except MonsterMash) who responds to you that they don't really think what they shared, and that they are WRONG?

 

I know there are websites and forums peopled exclusively by guys exactly like you.

 

LoveShack is not one of them. There are certainly plenty of bitter haters here, but I think that the majority of us are either working on maintaining, or actively seeking relationships where the people involved share themselves on ALL levels.

 

A man who has the strength and courage to be vulnerable and to share of himself is the only kind of man who is going to experience real and deep love. If a person (regardless of gender) cannot be who they really are in a relationship, they are not with a truly compatible person.

 

You are not a man who's interested in that, you have no interest in being such a man, and you express it all the time. Your personal little reality really does not extend to the rest of men and women.

[Hawaii50]

Hey. Name calling is not appropriate. He is just expressing what a lot of men know to be true.

 

I wish it was more an opinion than fact; A spade is a spade. And, I've come to that conclusion NOT based off a single post, but rather after a multitude of posts lacking any sort of thought and just expressing a slightly slow-minded man's attempt at rationalizing his failures with the opposite gender. He's not the only on this forum who thinks like that, and there are the female equivalent, each perpetuating said rift.

 

The only reason I'm on this site is cause I'm sitting here, bored, In a War-zone. And I find many posts entertaining and informative... But, Even more so, stupid and ignorant lacking any sort of thought or experience, just judgments.

 

I've been in my fair share of crappy relationships, that's life. What matters is what you learn, and even more-so what you apply to the next.

 

Check out this guy's other posts and I'm sure you see the callous and fragile ego he exudes;

[xxoo]

Finally a reasonable response from a woman. The challenge xx is that there are no easy rules for men to follow. When his emotions are riding the highest and he is young and feeling vulnerable for whatever reason, this is when he needs his partner the most. But this is when he has to be on guard the most. I wish it were not so, but it is. Some women can handle this but it is usually based on a complex set of rules that is impossible for most men to decipher. Especially in these times.

 

This, I believe, is why so many more men commit suicide, mass murder etc. They do not have outlets. How bad does this have to get before people realize there is a problem?

 

Look at the other women's responses to this thread. Name calling, nasty little attacks. This is the exact sort of thing that happens when a man says he should be strong. Unfortunately it is the same sort of thing that men experience behind closed doors.

 

Keep reading. Men are trying to say this over and over. But they are getting shut down. See some of the responses. Do you see the irony there?

 

Maybe it takes a more erudite man than me to explain it. I am trying.

 

How the woman handles this kind of openness, in a loving relationship (not necessarily a LS thread), will tell you what you need to know about her. My guy was able to show is vulnerability to me in his early 20s, and it deepened our relationship. He appreciated that, and has repaid me 100x over with his love.

 

Young men may need to be choosier in the character of the women they pursue.

[Silly_Girl]

There are some fantastic posts by some wise posters here. I can't add to what they've said.

 

I feel bad at your experience SnR. Can't be much fun.

[Hawaii50]

^^^^Bingo^^^^

[TaraMaiden]

I've read his blog. And other posts elsewhere.

 

Unbelievable.

[MonsterMash]

 

For millennia women have had to tolerate the subjugation of their gender and the dominance of the male.

The only species on the planet where one half is intent on subduing and dominating the other.

Now the tables have turned, women are getting stronger - and many men obviously feel threatened and uncomfortable about that.

if men had treated women more like human beings and less like cattle,we'd be seeing less of the rivalry and more of the companionship.

if there is discord between men and women -men have only themselves to blame.

 

And there it is. Feminazi's unite! *puke*

 

You ever wonder why relationships are so ****ed up now? Women marry and manipulate husbands into being these metrosexual pussies with no will of their own. But then they complain that he's that way. How many countless threads on here do we see where a woman says "I love my husband...BUT?" Or..."I couldn't ask for a better husband/father for my kids.....BUT." And then they go on to describe some POS affair partner who "makes her feel alive"....but all he's really doing is using her as a sex toy.

 

You purposely manipulated the man out of your husband, but then complain that he's not man enough because those man hating lesbians like Oprah told you thats what you're supposed to do.

 

But at the other end of the spectrum you have all these women up in arms about "50 Shades of Grey" and how much it turns them on. Its because the male/female dynamic is so screwed up now that women aren't getting the dominance they crave. Yes...I said it.

 

Crave.

 

I'm sorry if you were born with a vagina and feel like you got the short end of the stick. But I'm not apologizing for being what I was born to be. The sooner you quit fighting your true nature the better off you will be.

[Hawaii50]

Monster,

 

Do you share your disdain for women, with the ones you date?

 

 

Just wondering.

[xxoo]

But at the other end of the spectrum you have all these women up in arms about "50 Shades of Grey" and how much it turns them on. Its because the male/female dynamic is so screwed up now that women aren't getting the dominance they crave. Yes...I said it.

 

Crave.

 

An emotional healthy woman can crave a dominant man AND accept that her husband will sometimes have insecurities and issues. We know it takes strength to share those things with us.

 

It is only a turn off for me if the insecurities and issues rise above a certain threshold. I can't pin point where that is, but if the man is more consistently insecure than strong, that would be a turn off. I imagine it would be a turn off for men, as well, if a woman was consistently insecure and fraught with issues.

 

I'm sorry if you were born with a vagina and feel like you got the short end of the stick.

 

Worse, I didn't get a "stick" at all!

[Mme. Chaucer]

Monster,

 

Do you share your disdain for women, with the ones you date?

 

 

Just wondering.

 

I'd be surprised if there's any dating going on … I hope not, anyway.

[Hawaii50]

I'd be surprised if there's any dating going on … I hope not, anyway.

 

I'm really not trying to knock 'em, just curious.. I mean how do you go through life when half the people have a vagina?! How you navigate while maintaining your thought process? If you truly do feel the way you do in your posts (and not just this thread) then how can you even speak to a woman without snapping on her at the first sign of independence? Where do you go with your feelings, or do you bottle them up?! I'm sincerely curious.

[MonsterMash]

Monster,

 

Do you share your disdain for women, with the ones you date?

 

 

Just wondering.

 

 

Its not distain. Just a healthy understanding of what male/female relationships are supposed to be. Not whats being force fed to us by a liberal agenda.

 

Belive it or not, I'm very courteous. Open doors, pull out chairs...everything that a gentleman is supposed to be. Its just that the natural order of things is for men to lead women. We're the protectors. The hunters. Its only been in the last half century when the feminist movement moved too far that theres been any issues.

[Hawaii50]

 

 

Worse, I didn't get a "stick" at all!

 

You can use mine... I think he's about 3 months away from packing up the balls and finding pinker pastures.

[MonsterMash]

 

 

 

Worse, I didn't get a "stick" at all!

 

 

I knew it. Penis envy. :D

[MonsterMash]

I'd be surprised if there's any dating going on … I hope not, anyway.

 

Sure there is. For some reason here lately I've been winding up with good little feminists, and it's hilarious to watch them squirm because they like what they're told not to like. It makes for interesting debates....that I wind up winning btw.

 

I just wonder, if I'm such a Neanderthal....why they keep coming back.

[Hawaii50]

Its not distain. Just a healthy understanding of what male/female relationships are supposed to be. Not whats being force fed to us by a liberal agenda.

 

Belive it or not, I'm very courteous. Open doors, pull out chairs...everything that a gentleman is supposed to be. Its just that the natural order of things is for men to lead women. We're the protectors. The hunters. Its only been in the last half century when the feminist movement moved too far that theres been any issues.

 

Actually, women were hunters and neither doors nor chairs have to do with being a gentle/men.

 

It's only been the last 50 years we've even remotely tried to view them as equals. When in fact, we're not equal; men are better than women at a lot of thing, and conversely, woman are in fact better at a lot of things than men, too. Neither of the aforementioned fall with in society's gender roles, in my mind either.. IE sewing, homemaking.. Maybe nursing and things of that nature, but only because women are bettttttter at empathizing and nurturing.

 

 

Kind of lost me at the liberal agenda comment. Like there are forces at play trying to confuse modern men into respecting women for more than just meatloaf-making-gaps?

[TaraMaiden]

I've got more pople on 'ignore' in this thread, than I'm engaging with... makes it kinda disjointed, but fun, in a peaceful sort of way.

so nice to not see all the emasculated wimpish diatribe from the complainers....

[xxoo]

I agree 100%. I was married for about 13 years when my father died. My mother moved in with us out of necessity. She was left penniless. Three kids, new job, new doctoral program, house repairs. It was a lot.

 

When I tell you that I feel like I barely showed my weakness, I am telling you the God's honest truth (even though I am an Atheist). This sent my wife into a spiral.

 

I was just being more quiet and subdued than usual. Didn't want to talk about it.

 

That is all it takes I guess.

 

I'm sorry you went through all that, and for the loss of your father

 

Isn't it possible that the situation set your wife into a spiral? Three kids, you busy with new job and PhD program, and MIL moving in?

 

When you didn't want to talk about it, she may have interpreted that as you pulling away from her, rejecting her.

[Woggle]

When you stop insulting us - we'll stop the quid pro quo.

And you guys started it.

You constantly belittle, undermine and insult women, bracketing them in this stupid category of controlling, untrustworthy, conniving, deceitful, ungracious, mean, vicious, manipulative and abusive individuals whose purpose in life is purely to knock you guys down, and keep you there.

Quit the whingeing and get a life.

Most women are not like that.

Just as - thankfully - most men are not habitual complainers, like you guys are.

 

For millennia women have had to tolerate the subjugation of their gender and the dominance of the male.

The only species on the planet where one half is intent on subduing and dominating the other.

Now the tables have turned, women are getting stronger - and many men obviously feel threatened and uncomfortable about that.

if men had treated women more like human beings and less like cattle,we'd be seeing less of the rivalry and more of the companionship.

if there is discord between men and women -men have only themselves to blame.

 

It's not his or any man's job to pay for the sins of other men and honestly I can't speak for other men but I am sick of doing the time when I didn't do the crime.

[TaraMaiden]

It's not his or any man's job to pay for the sins of other men and honestly I can't speak for other men but I am sick of doing the time when I didn't do the crime.

 

I'm not asking him or you 'to pay for the sins of other men' I'm stating that he commits enough of his own to be counted amongst them. The rubbish that he and his cronies are spouting here, is enough to demonstrate that unfortunately, there are still some men with their minds and balls still stuck firmly in the 19th century.

 

Nobody's asking you to do the time - Notice I said most men and women aren't like that.

Don't be a spokesperson for those who don't merit it Woggle.

[Woggle]

I'm not asking him or you 'to pay for the sins of other men' I'm stating that he commits enough of his own to be counted amongst them. The rubbish that he and his cronies are spouting here, is enough to demonstrate that unfortunately, there are still some men with their minds and balls still stuck firmly in the 19th century.

 

Nobody's asking you to do the time - Notice I said most men and women aren't like that.

Don't be a spokesperson for those who don't merit it Woggle.

 

But you are saying that the tables have turned and men can't handle it but I thought feminism was about equality and not about that. Believe it or not I actually used to support feminism because I believed it was about mutual respect and equality.

 

This is just a sensitive subject with me because I have been told many times though not on LS that I deserved everything I had because I am a natural born oppressor since I have a penis. I wish I could have taped some of the things women offline have told me.

[strongnrelaxed]

I'd be surprised if there's any dating going on … I hope not, anyway.

 

It sucks to have your whole gender demonized doesn't it MME C?

 

I side 100% with Sauron and MonsterMash on this one. Those who read these posts are seeing appropriately strident reactions to stupidity. It is that simple.

 

Now that women are coming into power and Feminism has won the day, women are not going to have to be held accountable in the same way that the average man has been held accountable for the bad behavior of war mongers, rapists, serial killers and child molesters for the last century.

 

Welcome to the mess you created - or at least supported. Here we all are in it together. Again bearing the brunt of the mess created by others. Now we not only have to content with people in power, rich people, sleazy manipulators, we now have to watch our backs with out own women.

 

Why would you think that this should be ok with men? Really?

 

Instead of women stepping up and taking leadership roles with strength and nobility in the US, they stay in the background and let men continue to take the heat in the most dangerous, prominent and risky roles, all the while crowing about how evil they are for keeping them out of those roles!

 

Nice. It is quite brilliant actually. I admire women for their craftiness in this way- I would just never do this. I was raised differently.

 

The good women reading this understand that it is not misogyny or hate. It is a strong expression of warning and concern - and a counter to the completely unsubstantiated claims by a few bad women. Why more women do not step up to call their sisters out on their bad behavior is beyond me. But it explains a lot about how we got to this point.

 

When good people remain silent, bad sh&t happens.

 

No worries. There are at least three men here willing to do this dirty work.

Edited October 7, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[strongnrelaxed]

You'll note that when a woman typically talks about the subject of wanting the man to "share" this stuff, the unstated condition is that the "sharing" is only "good" to the extent the woman, in unspoken fashion (the man must be a mind reader, of course), arbitrarily decides it to be.

 

If he "shares" too much, or the "wrong way," or "too strongly," or "too weakly," or any other arbitrary criterion as solely determined at the woman's discretion, apparently randomly, then of course suddenly the "sharing" becomes hugely unattractive.

 

What if as a man, my wish to "share my feelings," is that I'm feeling a bit pissed off that my female partner has been visiting the food trough a little too often in recent years and has packed on an unnecessary 20 or 30 pounds, and I "feel" that she needs to get in the gym, stop porking out, and lose weight? What if my wife's inattention to her appearance and health is making me feel insecure as a man, as if she doesn't care enough about me to keep herself sexually attractive to me?

 

I bring up this example because it's a real life example, oft repeated, yet it actually has real stakes for the woman involved. It's not simply some arbitrary "requirement" a woman can lay down for the purpose of belittling and criticizing her partner because he "doesn't share his feelings enough."

 

Oh no those aren't legitimate feelings to be shared, those sorts of feelings that your partner has turned into something of a pig, why those aren't feelings, that's mysoginy, that's abuse.

 

Bravo Duck Soup.Well put.

[strongnrelaxed]

How ironic--but predictable, and predicted-- that you would take the position that men share their feelings and then when they try to honestly do so, you shut them out and shut them down because you don't want to actually hear them honestely express themselves.

 

ETA: And indeed it looks like I actually predicted it in my immediately prior post to this one.

 

Ouch! Nice one Mr Duck. Nothing like blatant hypocrisy right there in writing to help the cause of reason and sanity.

 

This is actually tough work sometimes, but they give us a freebie once in a while.