Ladies, do women really like it when men share their issues and insecurities?

[strongnrelaxed]

Are you a woman? Do you have a Vagina? Then how would you know how a woman feels about anything?!

 

There's a saying "don't mistake my kindness for weakness." Just as thoughtful and considerate as I am about how I, and people around me feel I am just as thoughtful at relaying anger and threatening emotion. Only difference between you and I, I'm secure in how I feel. Whether it be sadness or fury, I've made the decision to express that. It doesn't just happen. you haven't made a valid point yet, just your own personal opinions, which you're free to do, but please stop applying them to men across the board.

 

Listen, I have a long lifetime of experience with women. I have traveled all over the world and seen all sorts of things. I speak with people sometimes who grew up in a place of privilege and have never seen a city full of starving people with kids playing in sewage strewn areas. Some of these privileged people have said things like "so, that's their problem. What does that have to do with me?" I find this arrogance stunning, but I get it. They just don't have that experience so they don't get it.

 

The same holds true for men who have been with a good woman or a few good women. They just don't get how horrendous some women can be. What I find equally stunning is when women, who know damn well how foul other women can be towards men, can log on here and rip on men for expressing what they know to be true.

 

I have tried to be patient and explain. But these days I am much more assertive and expressive about such things. Not to convince you or any of the women here - that doesn't work.

 

What will make a difference, I hope, is the few young men who see how cruddy this name calling is and how it affects both men and women. They also get to see what their future will be like if they get married to the wrong woman. And most women in America today are not worthy of marrying in my opinion.

 

I stated an opinion, based on overwhelming life experience including 4 years in the Marines talking with hundreds of friends and fellow Marines. There is a distinct and clear pattern and I will continue to call it out. I could not give a crap less if anyone agrees or how much they whine.

 

I just get a little disappointed when a fellow man joins in with this very pathetic behavior. I hope you are a better man than this and just made a mistake.

Edited October 10, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Response to edited quote and cleanup

[strongnrelaxed]

I know I opened up to my wife and despite my worst fears it vastly improved things. Not all women will use it as a weapon against you.

 

We know - "Not All Women Are Like That" NAWALT. But what if you cannot tell if your woman is like that when you are courting her because she is a liar? What if she is so good that even a decent man who is good in all respects cannot see this - because he was raised to believe that NAWALT?

 

What do you say to this man when his life is ruined?

 

I am honestly happy for you that being honest with your wife is working out.

 

Get really sick one day and watch. Show some vulnerability.

 

Oh Woggle. I remember older men warning me about this stuff. I was very harsh with them. They sounded so old school and misogynistic.

 

Now I get it. Not because I want to, but because I have learned from experience. You will too.

 

Remember me when this happens to you and know that I will not judge you or say "I told you so". If you can find me I will buy you a beer and listen. That is all.

[Silly_Girl]

The expression by men of emotional sensitivity in men is perceived by women as weakness and is a huge-turn off sexually to women.

 

These guys are prime candidates to get dumped or cheated on. They make women feel uncomfortable.

 

Any woman who claims she prefers an emotionally sensitive, expressive man, who shows her his fears, insecurities and doubts, to a "strong silent type" who "sucks it up", is an out and out liar.

 

Honestly, you are WRONG. My guy and I have the least gender-influenced relationship I've ever been in. Many of my traits or approach to things is more male than the average female, and the converse for him. We are similar in many ways and it works for us. He has a family trauma from his teens that still rattles on to a degree now and he's never really had anyone to share it with. To do so now helps him, and his understanding and perception of his experience helps me to share similar (but different) with him and I get a good deal of support and empathy as a result. It really works for us.

 

I am sensitive, and I think with my feelings, unfortunately. I need to know that when I open up and am feeling more vulnerable than ever, with a partner, that he has some emotional wiring that means he 'gets it'. I know many couples where that simply is not the case. I can't tell you how much of a value I put on that, and how much it contributes to us feeling like a true partnership.

 

My boyfriend gives off a 'quietly confident, rolls with the punches' kind of vibe. I was really impressed by how chilled and confident - without cocky - he seemed when we met. I used to joke and say he was too cool for school. I would jest with him about prodding him to see what true reaction he had to things underneath. Long and short is, if I hadn't become acquainted, over the months, with his emotional sensitivity (which I think has become the accepted term for what we're discussing here) I'd have found him cold and lacking and we could not have bonded the way we have. The relationship (which is by miles the best either of us have had) would be over now or would have a fairly tight expiry date.

 

I doubt anything I've said will change your views but I'm really comfortable with how I feel about this and I think you may be right in some instances, there's some logic in your theory, but it definitely does not apply to all.

[Mme. Chaucer]

What do you say to this man when his life is ruined?

 

Well, we know what you'll say. "Blame it on the wimmins!"

 

Are you accountable for anything in your life at all? I don't think I've ever seen such extreme blaming out of an adult.

 

 

Oh Woggle. I remember older men warning me about this stuff. I was very harsh with them. They sounded so old school and misogynistic.

 

Now I get it. Not because I want to, but because I have learned from experience. You will too.

 

Remember me when this happens to you and know that I will not judge you or say "I told you so". If you can find me I will buy you a beer and listen. That is all.

 

Um … do you have any idea who you are even talking to? Woggle has a lot more extreme experiences with women problems than you could have even in your most elaborate fantasies of ultimate victimhood.

Edited October 10, 2012 by Mme. Chaucer

[Woggle]

We know - "Not All Women Are Like That" NAWALT. But what if you cannot tell if your woman is like that when you are courting her because she is a liar? What if she is so good that even a decent man who is good in all respects cannot see this - because he was raised to believe that NAWALT?

 

What do you say to this man when his life is ruined?

 

I am honestly happy for you that being honest with your wife is working out.

 

Get really sick one day and watch. Show some vulnerability.

 

Oh Woggle. I remember older men warning me about this stuff. I was very harsh with them. They sounded so old school and misogynistic.

 

Now I get it. Not because I want to, but because I have learned from experience. You will too.

 

Remember me when this happens to you and know that I will not judge you or say "I told you so". If you can find me I will buy you a beer and listen. That is all.

 

She stuck by me after my ex shot at us plus she has seen the crap I deal with with my mother so yeah she is loyal. I do admit that the scenarios you describe happen and I do wish some women would not be in denial about it but it is not the entire female gender. I think some women just can't fathom treating somebody like this so they think we are making this stuff up because it is far from their thought process.

[xxoo]

We know - "Not All Women Are Like That" NAWALT. But what if you cannot tell if your woman is like that when you are courting her because she is a liar? If she is so good that even a decent man who is good in all respects cannot see this - because he was raised to believe that NAWALT?

 

You've got it the wrong way. Some women are terrible partners, but NAWALT.

 

Just like some men are terrible partners, but NAMALT.

[xxoo]

And, strongnrelaxed, if you want to be truly inspired by a man who overcame his fears about this exact topic, opened up to his wife, improved his marriage, and became a better husband to a good woman, read Woggle's story

[standtall]

Hey ladies..if you recall the OP wanted to know the opinion of, get this, the ladies for this thread..not the men. Just so ya know who your arguing with...don't let anyone tell you what you like...

[happyme]

Hey ladies..if you recall the OP wanted to know the opinion of, get this, the ladies for this thread..not the men. Just so ya know who your arguing with...don't let anyone tell you what you like...

 

 

Indeed standtall and well said! The OP asks the opinion of ladies and then proceeds to argue with it... bit silly really.

[William]

My quick scan shows a lot more male postings than female and it seems the thread's direction has drifted so let's consign it to the history books.