alicia24 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 anything I should watch out for. How do I deal with the ex. any good tips thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Didn't you just post that you haven't met the child, yet? Why would you need tips on dealing with the Ex if you haven't even met the child? Link to post Share on other sites
Author alicia24 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Share Posted July 27, 2004 To prepare myself I would like to do evrything right Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Well, it depends on if you're good with kids, how old the kids are, what they like, if they're nice kids or hellions... stuff like that. You may have some babymammadrama. You may not, depends on the maturity of all involved. But, realize that your man will have some contact with the mother of his children, and she MAY not be ready to accept that the father of her babies has now moved to greener pastures. If you like kids then it will be fun for you. You'll get to play with them, take them out to the movies... whatever they like to do. If you don't like kids, you will be annoyed at how their father puts them before you, as he well should. Your plans will center around when he has the children. When they bust open the bedroom door when you are having sex because they are scared, or have a night mare, will you want to console them, or kill them? Kids are a big responsibility. As several posters have mentioned, you shouldn't get into the relationship unless you love this kind of stuff. If you love puke, mud, hair, and toys scattered all over the place, and if you like an occasional spill on your clean counter top, then enjoy them. The kids have to come first, regardless of how you feel. It's not easy dating someone with kids if you don't have any of your own. Didn't mean to preach, but I've been in that situation (dating someone with a kid, plus, I come from a single parent home, and I remember when my mom and dad dated other people), and I know how it can be. Just a friendly warning. Link to post Share on other sites
Pained Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 I was going to post, buy YellowLioness pretty much said everything I was going to say anyway, right down to the last setence. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 Pained, you sound like you have been there, too. lol. ALicia... I also wanted to mention this: no matter whether you hate the kids, or love them to pieces, you will be a role model for them, and you will assume the role of "mother," while they're there. So, if you smoke, they will think it's cool. If you curse, they will think that's cool, too. There isn't a whole lot you can do to prevent youself from being the role model, EVEN if dad tries to convince you otherwise. If you're not mature enough to be a good role-model, accept that about yourself and move on. It's O.K. to NOT want to be a mom right now. Children naturally look up to those older then themselves, so you really CAN'T get out of this job. You may end up being a reluctant role model. Welcome to secondary care giver world! Link to post Share on other sites
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