jasin005 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Hello everyone! It's been 6 months I've been dating with this Sweedish Girl Who studies in The uk, she is 4 years older then me. We've met in Morocco ( my country) then We kept visiting each others for a while, The thing is that My gf has another 3 years of school ( if she doesn't decide to study for another postgraduate degree) I really love her and want to be with her but I cannot keep moving from the Morocco to the uk every single month 1st cause I need a visa ( which is hard to get) 2nd cause I'm not that rich and just started working so I only have one free month per year...... she claims to love me back as well but when I said: why don't you come to live with me in Morocco in the future( when you finish your studies ? she said that she doesn't like life in Morocco................. so the only way to be together is by me migrating to her place and the only way to do that is by getting Married so that I can get papers to live with her. (As I said, I just want to be with her but I was shocked when she said that she can't live in Morocco and even if we decide to live together she wouldn't live here) I definitely cannot wait for more then 3 years simply cause ' she can't live in my country' that will break my heart! i was thinking about proposing to her and asking her for marriage, but she seems........not into it at ALL She broke up with her ex bf once he proposed " she said that he was too jealous"" So I just don't want to take the risks and propose. Do you think I should break up cause She doesn't seem to be interested to be with me for long? as this is the mains reason of love " my opinion" she also have some issues like getting angry easily, anger management problem, bitching and making issues out of nothing. But don't forget that I really really love her and that I think that she is the love of my life but..............I want to be the love of her life as well. So this is how i see it " either be with me or that's it" what do you think about this? Link to post Share on other sites
gamman Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) People usually don't respond well to ultimatums. From what you've descried, I don't see this relationship working for several reasons. Talk about your concerns with her. Tell her how you truly feel. Tell you don't see the relationship progressing as is. Be open. Be honest. Be respectful. Talk and listen. You have a decision -- cling to fanatsy and hope or face reality, pull the trigger, and move forward with life without her. Breaking this down, the answer is simple. I think you know that. It just sucks that the answer is so hard, painful, and scary to do. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Edited October 7, 2012 by gamman 2 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Hello everyone! Hi Jasin. Assist me with the math. Is she 19? So how old are you? 15? Or maybe she's 21 and you're 17? Also, you're from Morocco and she's from Sweden. Two completely different worlds. Are you ready to put up with her culture and background? Marrying her won't change her attitude. She will be free to say no to you whenever, regardless of you being the husband. You count as much as her if not less. You need to understand that. Do you? If you do and you are ready to accept all that long term, then fine. But I seriously doubt that. Your family won't accept that. Also, is religion a non-issue to you? What about kids? Would you be ready for your kids to be brought up as atheists or Christians? Think of everything very carefully. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jasin005 Posted October 7, 2012 Author Share Posted October 7, 2012 Hi Jasin. Assist me with the math. Is she 19? So how old are you? 15? Or maybe she's 21 and you're 17? Also, you're from Morocco and she's from Sweden. Two completely different worlds. Are you ready to put up with her culture and background? Marrying her won't change her attitude. She will be free to say no to you whenever, regardless of you being the husband. You count as much as her if not less. You need to understand that. Do you? If you do and you are ready to accept all that long term, then fine. But I seriously doubt that. Your family won't accept that. Also, is religion a non-issue to you? What about kids? Would you be ready for your kids to be brought up as atheists or Christians? Think of everything very carefully. oKAY, 1st of All I'm 21 and she is 25. I'm an Atheist, very open Minded and one of the few Moroccan Atheists, So let me make things clear, I have been thinking of this over and over and I've made my decision, I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, this is my last decision and I am definetly sure of my feelings, Nothing to doubt really! Yes, I am ready to put up with everything, her culture and background, her anger issues and everything, i can deal with all that for the sake of love! I know that I cannot change her but that's the way she is and I just have to deal with it! simply cause I am very patient! and Yes, I am ready to accept all that and everything that will happen afterwards AND I am a MAN of my Words. She has already visited my family and they really like her, My family members are very open minded, so that should be okay! and as I said, I am an atheist so religion is not an issue to me, I would like my children to make their own decisions! All the questions you asked me and was worried about are Nothing to worry about at all, It's all OKAY! The only thing I am worried about is what I've been talking about in the Original post. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Ok. Would you be able to fly to the UK for study? If so, do that, because that's your best opportunity with her right now. If you can't, you should just wait, so that you have enough money and time to meet her for at least a week. Better than nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jasin005 Posted October 7, 2012 Author Share Posted October 7, 2012 Ok. Would you be able to fly to the UK for study? If so, do that, because that's your best opportunity with her right now. If you can't, you should just wait, so that you have enough money and time to meet her for at least a week. Better than nothing. I've been thinking about that but studying in the UK costs an arm and a leg for international students, it would take me around 3 years to get enough money to pay for the tuition fees, but am waiting and thinking at the same time,,,,,,,,,,, Link to post Share on other sites
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