spinnyspeaker Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Yo, anyone else feel like they're making progress in the 'self-improvement' field but can't find anyone to ask out? What do you do when it feels like there's no one you're attracted to? On many days, it doesn't bother me; I've been alone for enough time, it typically doesn't faze me. But some days - when I watch some stupid sitcom or hear some emotive song - it hits me a little harder, makes me want it a little more. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author spinnyspeaker Posted October 7, 2012 Author Share Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) I guess I should add a bit of background for anyone who feels like reading: I'm tall, slightly overweight but my body type makes it a little less obvious, under 21, in college. I live on my own and don't have many friends, although I do hang out with a few people before my classes (don't really have much in common with em, just chat and joke around about the class). I've been working on getting myself out of the apartment to meet people and I feel like I've made a lot of progress in being able to walk up to strangers and start conversations. I even feel more comfortable being myself around friends of friends (especially girls, which took a long time for me to get used to before). I feel like on good days I'm confident enough to talk to someone I find attractive, but I feel like I don't have enough opportunities. It's not that I'm looking for a supermodel or have rigid standards or anything like that, I just haven't seen a girl who floated my boat. Last time I found a girl I was attracted to, I asked her out and she turned me down (boyfriend). She was someone I was really into, not just physically but her personality was great and I think both of us felt really comfortable with each other. Since then I haven't met anyone who I was both attracted to and got along with well. At least not on first impression; sometimes I'll find myself trying to talk myself into trying to liking someone, just cause I feel like I don't have many options. I've tried getting myself out there a little more - staying around at school before/after class, going to public/social places, etc - but with schoolwork and some other responsibilities I don't have a ton of free time to just hang out and keep an eye out. Edited October 7, 2012 by spinnyspeaker Link to post Share on other sites
Caryopteris Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 It doesn't work to try to become attracted to someone. What does help is to just make yourself a little bit noticed at school or work and get involved in sports or hobbies that put you in contact with women. Then it will tend to happen on its own at some point. Be open to women who just want to be friends and pay attention to tips on how to dress. You might want to work out a little. Good arms and flat belly go a long way with women. Also a decent haircut and good shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spinnyspeaker Posted October 7, 2012 Author Share Posted October 7, 2012 Thanks for the reply! Yes, it definitely doesn't work to try to be attracted to someone. Luckily I've been fortunate enough to see this ahead of doing something I would regret. Unfortunately, I don't have much time for sports or hobbies because of the other things I have on my plate. I definitely plan on doing so when I have more time but that might not be until next semester. Right now I only have a few hours spare spread out across the week. Probably not enough for any sort of intramural sports or anything like that. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yo, anyone else feel like they're making progress in the 'self-improvement' field but can't find anyone to ask out? Thanks! You need a posse to hang out with. You'll be much more approachable when you're with a group of other guys than by yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yo, anyone else feel like they're making progress in the 'self-improvement' field but can't find anyone to ask out? What do you do when it feels like there's no one you're attracted to? On many days, it doesn't bother me; I've been alone for enough time, it typically doesn't faze me. But some days - when I watch some stupid sitcom or hear some emotive song - it hits me a little harder, makes me want it a little more. Thanks! When i used to date i would just go out i wouldn't actually go out with a date but i would get asked for dates when i socialised.guys do approach me...i have gone out solo too not only with friends....in saying that....im putting it off at the moment not in the right frame of mind.....but eventually i will....one day....i know that i can i know that guys are attracted to me not for all the right reasons though.......i have an attraction for someone.....and i dont want to be attracted he isnt available and isnt attracted to me......would rather be aloof...non caring...am thinking of biting the bullet and just getting out again like i used to just to have fun ...so if you are talking confusion i know how you feel...i alternate.....get out....hide away scenario..been out of the loop too long....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author spinnyspeaker Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 You need a posse to hang out with. You'll be much more approachable when you're with a group of other guys than by yourself. Right? I've tried to set up those kinds of situations, I have trouble finding friends in general though. The one guy who I think might actually be able to hook me up is just too plain busy for any social time. Barely has time to respond to text messages, let alone hook me up. Pretty much all of my other buddies are worse off than I am in this game Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts