My Sister Hates Me So Much

[Sporty Girl]

I have some issues with my family that I would like advice on. Ever since I can remember growing up, I have one older sister, and a younger brother, my sister has always hated me. She always made fun of me, called me names, hit me, fight me, the list goes on, she even stole stuff of off me, like electronics, and money out of my pocket.

 

Anyways she has always hated me. I think that she has a mental illness. They have diagnosed her with bi polar, but I think it's both personality and bi polar. She has serious issues. I am in a band, I sing, and play guitar. I attended a prestigous performing arts school, where many famous singers attended. I paid for it all on my own, while mommy and daddy handed everything to her. She is so jealous of my ambition and drive. She says that I will never make it, and calls me all sorts of name. I then opened my own business, and bought a sports car, got my own well furnished place, and traveled everywhere.

 

She then began calling me nuts, criminal, ugly, psycho. She tells me to go kill myself, nobody likes me. This story get's worse and worse. She has tried to break up my relationships with men that I have dated. She turned my mother against me. She told her many things, even the brother is agianst me. None of them talk to me this day. I gave my mother my number when I saw her downtown, and she never called me a day, and years have passed.

 

This is sad, all because somebody is jealous of me, she has ruined my life. My sister calls me anorexic, because I am skinney, and I do work out lots, but I have a very high metabolism, and I cannot gain weight with my body type. I don't know. People told me that she has gained lots of weight, and that she had a kid with a dead beat guy.

 

Can somebody give me some insight as to why my sister is like this. Let me also add that she is afraid to have her pictures taken, I feel she might have self esteem issues. Everytime she emails me she rains on me. Call me everything you can think of.

 

Also she stalks me on Facebook, and my space, and starts sending me messages calling me names. She has added me as fake people so I don't know which person she is watching me, could be many profiles. I have had to threatened her that if she continues, that I would go get a restrainig order, and that if she contacts me again they will arrest her.

 

For the record she has no life. She sleeps all day, does not exercise, eats junk, and watches children's cartoon shows. She is on disability, never worked or finished school. She was always in sepcial help classes at school when she was younger, while I never was.

 

I don't understand, I am lost.

Edited October 8, 2012 by Sporty Girl

[River Rain]

From what you said...gosh who knows. It does sound like jealousy and the mental illness at work to me. My older sister did the same thing to me growing up. She was physically abusive to me as well as mentally. It continued into adulthood when she would try to humiliate me in front of friends and insult me. It leaves you to think what the heck you did to her.

 

Sorry that the family is taking her side, but if they aren't willing to communicate, despite you trying, then you may never know what's going on. For me the best thing to do was just move on and live my life the way I wanted. Got all that toxicity out of my life and I've never regretted it.

[Feelin Frisky]

You have to just consider your sister a "toxic" force in your life and manage your life to not let her in your head as much as you can keep her out. If that's you in your avatar photo, you seem young. There comes a time where sibs go their own ways and/or actually do some things to reconcile their past. But those are the exceptions and not the rules.

 

I am over 50 and have seven younger siblings--four sisters and three brothers. When I was a kid, the sister that was next in age to me--a year younger--found that she could get some kind of thrill or some weird version of love or attention by waging passive-aggressive warfare on me. Before I can remember my parents told me how protective of her I was so I am naturally not disposed to being a power-tripper or brute. But as soon as my sister became self-aware at about 3 or 4 (to my 5 or 6) she began this non-stop agenda to make me look aggressive. She'd cry and lie that I hit her. She'd just do lots of evil things that wound up in me being abused by my parents and even assaulted by my adult uncle. It damaged me and hurts to talk about it. But when my sister grew up and got married, I feel that she realized she hurt me and unlike my other sibs always sends me a birthday and Christmas card with a check in it. To me it's not enough to take away the violence I had to suffer and the alienation I have with my uncle but it helps. She doesn't say she's sorry. But she shows me that she thinks about me. I have another sister who I'd also like to tell you about if you don't mind.

 

This one hates me. Even after 45 years she still hates me. I figured it out why. When she was a baby, I showed her so much attention and love. My dad was poor and a drinker and he paid her no attention at all. While my mother was pregnant I was a very religious child and I prayed so intensely that my mother would be OK and have a healthy baby. The new baby came and she was the cutest child I think I've ever seen. Even today her pictures stand up as a stunningly beautiful girl. Being only 10 or 11 myself I didn't realize that by switching my favor from the older sister to the last one my mom would have that the sister I "threw over" felt an abandonment that she has never been able to let go of. In fact after I began showing the young one all the attention, the older one got fat--my mother was very lax on medicating us with food to keep us quiet. That sister never lost the weight and I'm convinced that she blames me subconsciously for her obesity and loneliness. I think she's still a virgin. She never takes any responsibility for herself and always "blames" someone else for everything. We have fought in recent years and she brought up stuff that was very juvenile. She needs to be on meds for bi-polar IMO but she won't consider seeing a shrink because it might mean admitting she has faults. And last but not least she's a Face Book user and I've been told that she maligns me on Face Book. I don't bother with Face Book because I've lived so long without it, it just seems like some kind of gossip mill. But as you can see, patterns start in people even before they have morals and consciousness. And some hang on to these things forever.

 

So, there's nothing wrong with you cutting yourself off from a toxic sibling. Maybe she'll take some responsibility and get some help. Maybe she won't. Just make up your mind to not let her mental unwellness become your mental unwellness. Be well and free.

[Million.to.1]

How could your sister turn your whole family against you?

 

Surly your mum wouldn't turn her back on her own flesh and blood without good reason. She is not a high school bimbo who has no investment in you, she's your mum.

 

I'm not saying your sister is right, not at all, she sounds like a bitch. But maybe there is something you are not taking responsibility for in all of this?

 

I have a bad relationship with my brother... he has always hated me too, we are just very different, but my family wouldn't ever just side with him and never speak to me again because he said so..

 

There is more going on here....

[Sporty Girl]

Yes, that is me on the avartar.

 

Well things got really worse after my dad passed away from heart disease.

After he died, this bitch that is my psycho sister, became man of the house and took his place. She controlled everything, but I would not let this cunt control me. Everytime I got up and did something to better myself in life, she would get so eaten up inside, like why can't she do that. Nobody is pinning her down to not to succeed in life. She is just a lazy bitch, that wants everything handed to her. I can't count how many diplomas I have from schooling.

 

Okay, well I did do something wrong, I think so anyways. I got into exotic dancing at strip clubs, and she found out, and told the whole family, and I think there were pictures of me somewhere on the internet wearing bikini's and sexy outfits, and she saw them and showed my family. The reason why I ended up in that situation is because when my father died, he left thousands of dollars, and guess who controlled it, the psycho sister. They all kept telling me that there is nothing left for me. So I had to make a way for myself, and that's why that happened. I then opened an escort agency, and that really got to her.

 

But I didn't do anything wrong, just dance for money, when I was an exotic dancer. I don't know who they think they are to control my life when I had to support myself, and used my money to get ahead of in life. I never used my money on drugs or alcohol. I was a saver and still am. I had to move miles and miles away from them. Even before I ever did this, they did not accept me in the family. I have managed shortly after I got out of the dancing to land modeling jobs, so ya, I'm getting there.

 

Don't come saying that there is something that I did wrong. When you have a family that tells you that you got mixed up in the hospital, and treat you like ****. Leave you by yourself and go on tropical vacations, and you are the only kid left back, something is wrong.

 

I can't help it if God put me in a family that hates me. She has ruined my life. She is so cold blooded, does not care about anything. I know if my dad was still here this would not of happened.

 

This bitch is delusional. She will talk to herself on Facebook with made up profiles, and she says that she was inthe U.S. Army, when she never worked out a day in her life. Tell her to run for ten seconds and she will drop on the floor from exhaustion. She is in a fantasy life, but yet she is the one on medication, and she tells me I am the one that is psycho.

 

Well that was my past being a dancer, I have a career now, I ended up being a hairstylist, and I am training to do boxing. So anybody that is judging me, please don't, because I came on here for advice, not to be bullied.

 

All in all, sombody that replied to my thread is right, the bitch is jealous of me one hundered percent, and I tried to be nice to her on email's, and she turns around and attacks me like a dog with rabies, ya don't call that psycho bitch with bi polar. Ha! Yes, I must move on with my life, and be an adult orpahn.

 

Thank you, but thank God I won't know her when she ever gors through menopause, anybody around her better run for their life, fortunately that won't be decades from now.

Edited October 12, 2012 by Sporty Girl

[CptObvious]

OP trains boxing

 

Which gym do you go to? I don't think I've ever seen you before(then again I spend 80% of my time in north van)

[whichwayisup]

Make your facebook so nobody can find you, or only friends of friends. Block her too.

 

Look, your sister is not well, she's got mental illness and her insanity is spilling everywhere. You cannot reason with her, nor try to understand why she does what she does. She's messed up and it seems your mom and others in the family are in denial.

 

Not sure how old you are, but maybe move out and get away from her. Either another family member, an aunt or a close friend..

 

Most of all, do NOT let her ruin your spirit and who you are. She is BP and that is not going to change. You need to figure out a way to not let her behaviour and what she does or says get to you.

[CptObvious]

oh, right, back on topic.. just knock her out. Just knock the crazy out of her cause there sure as hell ain't gonna be any guys to do it. Time to fight back and give her a real reason to hate you(as well as a concussion)

[Sporty Girl]

OP trains boxing

 

Which gym do you go to? I don't think I've ever seen you before(then again I spend 80% of my time in north van)

 

Hi, I don't go to a gym. I have a personal trainer. I like one on one attention if you know what I mean.

[Sporty Girl]

oh, right, back on topic.. just knock her out. Just knock the crazy out of her cause there sure as hell ain't gonna be any guys to do it. Time to fight back and give her a real reason to hate you(as well as a concussion)

 

Believe me, if she came after me and wanted to fight I know that I could take her down. No doubt. With all the boxing training I have.

[Sporty Girl]

Make your facebook so nobody can find you, or only friends of friends. Block her too.

 

Look, your sister is not well, she's got mental illness and her insanity is spilling everywhere. You cannot reason with her, nor try to understand why she does what she does. She's messed up and it seems your mom and others in the family are in denial.

 

Not sure how old you are, but maybe move out and get away from her. Either another family member, an aunt or a close friend..

 

Most of all, do NOT let her ruin your spirit and who you are. She is BP and that is not going to change. You need to figure out a way to not let her behaviour and what she does or says get to you.

 

Oh I know she is not well. What blood family steals off of you, and is not happy for you're acheivements, hold grudges against you for you're success. It's not normal. She is far from normal. She wanted me out of the family, she got what she wanted. I don't know what fake profile she has on facebook, that she friend me with, but I will be going through my friends list, and only keeping people on that I know personally and have dealt with. Even the realatives don't like me. I don't know it's all hate.