We're seeing where things go.

[BornToDie]

Back story: he and I dated for 2 and a half years. We broke up in July. During the relationship, he cheated on me, and I cheated on him shortly before it ended. The break up was not easy. After trying to keep in contact, he told me he didn't love me and had no interest. Fine, I left him alone. Last week, he messaged me, flirting, and after a long talk, we decided to hang out.

 

Last night, we hung out. I got to his house at about 5 PM, talked to his parents, and then we left. First surprise, he drove. Next surprise, he bought me dinner, coffee, a cupcake, and then everything else we did after that (keep in mind, during the relationship, he rarely did these things). The entire time, we were talking and joking. We saw a movie, and after that, we came back to his place.

Parked out in front, we began to talk. Eventually, I made the first move and kissed him. We started making out. I said, "I've missed you," and he said, "I've missed you too, but I'm not really ready to jump back into anything just yet." I said, "Fine, neither am I. But I still care about you." He said, "So do I." I said, "Well, I just need to know that you're not using me to hook up," and he said he wasn't. We didn't have sex, but we messed around a little, and after that, we laid on the couch and cuddled. He wrapped his arms around me and held my hand. I told him I was tired, and he told me he wanted to go to Waffle House (at this point, it was 3 AM). He said, "I don't really need to go, but the truth is, I haven't seen you in a very long time. I've missed you and don't want you to leave." So we went to Waffle House and ate. During this time, he kept saying, "What do you want to do after this? I want to keep spending time with you. I want us to go camping, go out to this place, etc." After eating, we went to our "spot," a hill that overlooks all of the city lights, put on "our song," and just sat there and held each other. Sounds corny, but whatever.

We went back to his place after this, and he said, "Well, I guess I should let you go." I reached over the seat to hug him, and he said, "No, get out of the car so I can give you a real hug." We held each other, kissing, and I said, "So we'll just see what happens, right?" He said yes. I said, "Because I obviously still have feelings for you." He said, "I'm pretty sure I feel the same way." I said, "You wouldn't have done all of these things tonight if you didn't have feelings for me." He said, "Well then, there's your answer." I finally got home at 5 AM.

 

I drove back to my apartment by my college today (45 min. from home), and he was getting ready to go back to work (an hour away). He texted me and asked if I'd left yet, and when I said yes, he was upset and said he wanted to see me one last time. We continued texting and talking, and since he couldn't see me, we Skyped. He told me he couldn't wait to see me again and wanted me to visit him where he's currently working this weekend and spend the night. I agreed to it.

What's bothering me is that he told me his parents interrogated him about what was going on with us. He told them he wasn't ready to jump back into a relationship yet, but we were going to hang out and be friends. That bothered me a little bit. I said, "Well, we're not really friends, but we're not a couple, either." He asked me to elaborate, and I said, "After what happened last night, we're not just friends. We said we'd see what would happen, and after you told your parents we were friends, it makes me feel like last night was nothing." He said, "I don't really like to tell my parents every detail of what's going on. The things I choose to tell my parents and the way I feel about you are two different things."

Of course, this makes sense because his parents have told me constantly that trying to get information about us from him is like pulling teeth. Still, I'm stressed out about this, and I'm not sure why. He constantly keeps in touch with me and isn't talking to anyone else. Opinions? Thoughts? Concerns?

[River Rain]

It sounds like he does miss you. And you're right, who cares what he tells his parents. My only concern is based on my own experience with my ex. He's not ready to jump back into a relationship, yet he's showing you physical affection and wanting lots of contact with you. Mine did something similar, said he wasn't ready to jump back in, strung me along, then dumped me. I don't think you should make yourself too vulnerable to him if he can't commit to you this time around, because you might get hurt. And don't have sex with him unless he will commit to you. Just my opinion on what I would do in this situation.

[BornToDie]

You're right. I had a talk with a friend of his last night who told me that he said he had a great time with me the other night. When asked if we were getting back together, he said, "I don't know just yet." I guess that isn't too bad.

He's been contacting me every day, and I'm pretty sure he isn't talking to other girls. I'm just trying not to stress out too much over this.

[River Rain]

Well, you have a history and it's hard not to stress out right? But you have a good attitude about it. With my ex, he was just lonely, but he was never ready to commit because he was still pining for his old life with the ex-wife and kid. I got really hurt by it, wouldn't want that to happen to you. I'd say to just see how things evolve for sure, but if he still goes for the physical affection, maybe you need to set the boundary until he comes off the fence. I hope it works for your sake, love is awesome.