Author miggsbucks Posted December 6, 2004 Author Share Posted December 6, 2004 why is that what you're hoping for? i think christmas can potentially be a coming together of lost loves, because it does bring on a sense of reflection. people think about what's happened in the past year, and possibly wonder what could have been, and whether they made the right choices. eveybody also wonders about everyone else more too, people always ask in the run-up "what are you doing for christmas?" Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Originally posted by miggsbucks why is that what you're hoping for? i think christmas can potentially be a coming together of lost loves, because it does bring on a sense of reflection. people think about what's happened in the past year, and possibly wonder what could have been, and whether they made the right choices. eveybody also wonders about everyone else more too, people always ask in the run-up "what are you doing for christmas?" not really what I am hoping for, but i am hoping my ex does call and at least ask how i am, just so she can show me she does care about me. Then again, it has been 3 months since the break up and she has not once established contact with me since she dumped me, so I dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miggsbucks Posted December 7, 2004 Author Share Posted December 7, 2004 as long as you have accepted everything with dignity, i'm sure you'll get a christmas message from her.. thats better than nothin.. hang in there friend, whats meant for you in this life won't pass you by... Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Who knows miggs, she has not contacted me since she dumped me on the last week of august and I stopped contacting her in the first part of october, more or less cause it got me nowhere with no replies and always a voice mail. So I dunno... Link to post Share on other sites
aarsky Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Thanks for the words of encouragement. I keep thinking about the no contact rule and its very hard to obide by. I want to call my ex everyday and still find my self doing so. I think by doing that its pushing her further and further away because its simply overwhelming for her to hear everyday that we should make a brand new start. I did some pretty mean things to her to drive her away in the first place and she just lost trust in anything I do. Someone else wrote in a thread that everyday you go with out contact you should give yourself a reward or pat on the back. You should also improve yourself and get stronger, so that maybe if they see an honest effort to make things better, it might bring them back. And if it doesnt at least your still a better and stronger person for yourself. I cant imagine myself to be with anyone else, but who knows. If we were all fortune tellers and could predict the future, we would surely try anbd find the most gratifying solution to the situation and that would be for the loves of our lives to come back one day. But no one knows what the future holds. I just miss her alot and although the no contact rule is very hard to live by, I guess right now it's for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Stringfellow Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Why would you want to do mean things to the women you love, I cant figure that out for the life of me. If you truely love her why would you ever want to hurt her? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 Can I add something here? NO CONTACT says more to your ex than you could ever say in words. Think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Puma Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 i agree. no contact is the best method for one to move on..whether they want to or not. for the dumpee it helps cope with the whole situation and examine the causes of the break..regardless of the reasons. it should be a time to think about what could have triggered the break up...just dont over analyze as that will drive u crazy...i know its inevitable at times to try to analyze every single aspect but dont! i can honestly say that im glad i did no contact right after breakin up..i didnt plead or beg, cry, nothin. i feel that it has helped me think about what went wrong when every thing seemed so right. if that rings a bell, then ya should think about it too. there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, its easy for us to say our sides of the story, but we would have to know what is goin on in the dumpers minds to fully understand what went wrong or didnt. sometiems nothin has to go wrong..maybe its goin to well, in which case they might get scared that its gettin too serious or they get cold feet. of course if you werent treating the dumper with respect or even neglecting them or being abusive...lets deal with reality a bit and accept that it probably wont happen for reconcilliation. if it was a mutual break, there is a good chance of gettin back together once both parties have sought tiem and understandin of each's feelings and thoughts. it depends on everyones circumstances..but overall, no contact is best for awhile at least to ease tension, anger, and hurt. after a good period has passed when you feel like u can holdback any emotions..i think its actually a good idea to get in contact as they will know that you still care, but of course the conversation, email, text, has to be light..gettin reacquainted a bit basically. sometimes it feels that the more time that passes the less the chances are of gettin back together right?? well in some cases that is true..but thats only if there was no real love to begin with or the break was due to critical behavior. if there was a good bond and friendship..then with more time, the dumper cant even try to forget you..because they wont be able to. the only thing then would be whether they are willing to get back together and try again..which depends on them and you because u may not even want to at that point in time. im not back with my ex..its been a mth already, but im very optimistic in this pessimistic society and culture..but im also real and i understand that i shouldnt be waitin on her..im free to do what i want...afterall, tahts the risk she took in leavin in the first place Link to post Share on other sites
Author miggsbucks Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 In reference to my current situation (rather than the girl my original post was about):- http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=359983#post359983 I was informed by text from her friend that she was getting back with her ex on Sun 28 Nov, so I left it and didn't contact her at all, even though I wanted to. Last night she broke contact with this text:- im soz for hurtin u and i mean it all i want is to be best friends with u!x x x x y i wouldnt have got this text if i had contacted her. i didnt reply, as i was asleep at the time, so 10 minutes after that text, i got this:- ok ive hurt u but there's no need for u to ignore me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author miggsbucks Posted April 22, 2005 Author Share Posted April 22, 2005 dont know if i can still post on this thread, ive had plenty of heartstrings since this one, but she has emailed me tonite,the one this one is about!!!!!!!!! wants to chat sometime soon, a whole year has gone by, and now she wants to get back in touch!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Congrats, Miggs. Take it slow and easy. Nay - CAUTIOUSLY. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miggsbucks Posted April 22, 2005 Author Share Posted April 22, 2005 i will confused, ive had 2 NC's since that one, and the one i've been posting about recently "i had sex on first date, is it doomed never to progress" ive got a second date with on sunday, i'd better post an update to that thread Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 Well I guess you now need to answer this question. Which of these two statements applies to your situation now, 1 year later: "absence makes the heart grow fonder" "out of sight, out of mind" If you can answer that question, then you probably know what you want to do about talking after a year. :-) Don't mean to throw your own words back at you, but, they seem fitting :-) Good luck, and let us know what you decide to do... Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Author miggsbucks Posted April 23, 2005 Author Share Posted April 23, 2005 jennifer:- after a whole year now has gone by, i really don't feel anything now for her in the love sense, as in the wanting to be with her sense, so i guess the question isn't really relevant to me anymore. she was chatting all about this guy she was "head over heals about" etc, and i was just giving her objective advice about playing it cool etc, do find it odd that she is chatting to me of all people about this guy shes hot on, but then again, life is very odd, it doesnt bother me, hope she finds happiness with this, or any other guy, hope she sorts herself out soon and doesnt need any more chats with me, can do w/out chatting to her again 2b honest, i've long since gotten over her, good luck to her, still dont know why she wanted to get in touch.. very strange, but hope she gets sorted with a guy soon Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 Originally posted by miggsbucks i will confused, ive had 2 NC's since that one, and the one i've been posting about recently "i had sex on first date, is it doomed never to progress" ive got a second date with on sunday, i'd better post an update to that thread She was sending you these messages?! Link to post Share on other sites
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