Lustful ways

[sbradford2]

Hello. I was hoping to not have to come back on here with another sob story. But here comes. I have been on and off with my kid’s father for over 10 years. I know, get it together right? Well he has had this constant thing with cheating and talking to other women and as many times that I have told him that I don’t like it, it continues to happen. He tells me that it’s just chat and that I shouldn’t be worried about anything. The last time we broke up it was for a year and I had the hardest time trying to take care of the kids on my own. I would have mental break downs and fall into a deep depression. So after that last breakup I said that if and when we got back together again that I was going to try my best to ignore his sneaky behaviors and just focus on taking care of myself and the kids just to have his help. Whenever we break up I never have his help. He completely disappears and later tells me that he thought that I didn’t want him around, which in a way is somewhat true. But now I am really trying to be mature about this and accept any little help that he can give me with the kids whether we are together or not.

 

Well we have been living together for a while now and he has been so much of a help that I am afraid to be without him. The other night I looked through his phone and found that he had been chatting with women back and forth on different websites. I told him that it really doesn’t surprise me because he’s done this so much but I am still hurt. He tells me over and over again that he will not do this, but it eventually happens one way or another. I also noticed porn videos and several pictures of himself naked in his phone. I already knew about the porn. But I was disgusted. He told me that he took those pictures when we were apart and that he is addicted to talking to other women. I know that I can’t by any means fix or change him. That’s not by job. I am stressed over this. I am taking classes at a local community college right now and working part time. It’s been so hard for me to focus on the things that I need to get done because my mind is so weighed down by this relationship. I know the best thing would probably be to let it go. But would that really be best. Should I continue on with him to get the help while I’m in school and trying to get on my feet and keep the fact that he loves women and he's just a man in the back of my mind? I’m trying to weigh my options. I really need him. He can’t afford to live on his own so I it actually worked well because we were able to help one another. He would watch the kids while I work on the weekends and some nights and even help out a lot around the house. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know if it would be smart to continue doing what we are doing just to keep his help or to just do away with it. I know that I may not be thinking too clearly right now because I’m hurting. It would help to get the opinions of other single mothers or women who have been through a similar situation. Men don’t hesitate to respond as well if you could. It would really help to have your point of view also.

Edited October 8, 2012 by sbradford2

[strongnrelaxed]

You should leave. No emotion, no drama. Just leave him. Kick him out or move out yourself. Clearly you are not a good match - even though you may love each other.

 

Good luck

[standtall]

SB,

 

First, when it comes to porn, ask yourself ..is it a deal breaker? If what he is watching or doing is something that you can't stomach..... if you two can't get on the same page together, then it will be hard in the long run. On/off for 2 years? Can't stop talking to other women? Your choice is pretty obvious..stay and accept this as you will not change him, or move on.

[sbradford2]

Its not the porn that made me feel disgusted. Its just his deceitful ways.