Angry - Part 2

[AnotherRound]

So, after I posted the first angry thread the other day, I got a new thing to be angry at/about.

 

I woke up early the other day, got my coffee, and checked all my email accounts. I run a business, and it's one of my morning rituals to check that email first thing, as it can affect the schedule for that day (and often does). I had a scathing email from an anonymous source - a source that doesn't seem so anonymous, but I can't prove anything.

 

It didn't threaten me, and I'm not sure why it was sent anonymously bc the first one from the other OW was not anonymous. Anyway, it was sent to my work account - which is easy to find if someone has my name as my business is named after me, and the website has the email link on it.

 

The email basically was telling me that exMM didn't care about me, was only using me for sex. It went into some details about the marriage, but didn't really have any details about me - which was telling, imo. Gave me dates (which all matched up to what I already knew, from exMM) and appeared to be an attempt to throw me off balance re exMM. Also, a lot of anger towards exMM and his decision to attempt to reconcile his marriage, and then his decision to end the marriage and try to pursue a relationship with me.

 

Oh, I wanted to send off an email back (generic hotmail account, recently created probably), but stopped myself. It made me want to bring her down a notch or two as she has continuously attempted to hurt anyone and everyone who she deems part of this situation. And yes, believe it or not, I think her cruelty to the stbxw was unwarranted and just mean, unnecessary. And, I had this primal desire to throw some of that cruelty back at her - as I have information that she is obviously not privy to (as in, exMM desperately trying to work things out with me the entire time he was seeing her bc he wasn't liking her much as a person pretty early into their relationship).

 

So, I contacted exMM bc I wanted him to know that I had gotten the email, and I wanted his input on how he wanted it to be handled. I would have handled it the way I thought best no matter what, but wanted his input to consider - as he knows her and I do not (only of her). He basically stated that his advice is to not engage (they had to get ROs against her) bc she will "never go away". He knows me, and knows that I will never walk away from someone attacking me as I feel I have every right to defend myself. And, I learned early on how to fight, and how to win - and I'm not proud of it, but I can hurt people quickly and easily - and have used this "skill" in the past to get someone away from me. I can be ruthless - again, not proud, and I try to keep it in check - but when my buttons are pushed, it's hard to not regress into that winner take all, no holds barred, mentality.

 

Problem is, as soon as exMM was sure that he was not going to be affected by the email (which I think was his first and foremost concern), he was done talking about it. I wasn't done. I wanted him to apologize for bringing this crazy person to my doorstep - he refused. Said he can't control "crazy a**holes" and has no desire to be in contact with her at all - as if he does, she will NEVER GO AWAY. He said he has found the best way to handle her is to ignore her and maybe eventually she will "get the picture" and go away.

 

Problem is, she isn't getting it. She can't contact him or his stbxw bc of the ROs. But she hasn't threatened me, so I can't get a RO. And honestly, I'm a bit angry that I even have to deal with her bc I'm not even in a relationship with him. Well, not what I would consider a relationship anyway - we have just talked on the phone a few times. So, I'm feeling like she is aiming crap at me when I'm not responsible for any of her crap.

 

And so disappointed in exMM. I know that he has a lot on his mind and his plate right now. I know that this woman is unstable and an annoyance to him. But he is the one that picked her! He is the one that brought her into his life, and therefore my life. He IS responsible for this! And he refused to accept that at all. When he asked me what I wanted him to say or do, I said "fix it". He said he is not going to contact her, the RO has kept her at bay up until now, and he does not want anything to do with her. So I said, then at least apologize for the fact that I have to deal with this nut! And he said he won't apologize for her behaviors bc he can't control them. I know he can't control it, but he could have at least said he was sorry that I was dealing with it at all.

 

He said, "Nobody needs this sh** in their life". Not, "I'm sorry you are having to deal with her too now" or "I'm sorry I caused this for you". Just, "I don't deserve to have to deal with her either, but I have". *sigh*

 

So, I'm going to handle it MY way. I can't get a RO - yet. But, I want to hurt her. I do. I'm not proud of that, but it's honest - I want to hurt her so badly (verbally only!) that she will avoid contact with me like the plague. I know I can. I have enough information that I could wound her to the point that she will associate me with nothing but hurt and pain and she will avoid contacting me. And, she will know that I'm telling the truth bc I have too many details for it to be anything but. ExMM was not telling her anywhere near the amount of details that he has always told me. That was obvious from her emails.

 

I know it's terrible. But, this is NOT a good time of year for me. I do not want to have to deal with this crap right now. I'm in no mood, or shape, to deal with it. I want to make her stop, and I am pretty sure I could. But I don't want to hurt people - I know I will feel bad afterwards. But, I don't know how else to make her stop. And obviously, exMM is leaving me on my own with this one. And that makes me angry bc this is HIS problem, not mine. I've dated people since him and none of my exs are acting all crazy and contacting him.

 

Sorry all, just venting. I'm emotionally exhausted, and my job is draining that even more - and then this. And it's pulling out MY mean streak - which I hate bc I've worked so hard to dampen down those long ago learned inappropriate responses to "danger". And I feel like I'm going to revert bc it's easy, and it would feel victorious for a minute - and I feel forced to fight fire with fire.

 

The email was an attempt to hurt me. It didn't hurt me, but it frustrated me just like a fly that won't leave me alone. I want to kill it simply bc it's annoying me and I have no time for it, can't be bothered. No, I don't want to kill anyone - I just want to make a sharp point so that she will know that the contact will only bring her pain. ExMM said she lives for this type of thing, doesn't have a job or anything to keep her from spending all day stalking people. I think I can stop her with some well thought and well placed words...

 

Tell me not to do it. I know I'll feel bad afterwards... But honestly, she has NO idea how bad her timing is right now.

[veryhappy]

Don't do it. If she gets threatening get a RO. I doubt she'll stop after this email and write you again.

 

Your exMM is dissapointing. The apologies they never give...I'm sorry he's so insensitive, but at the same time take it into account for knowing who he really is. Just because he wants to be done with her, doesn't mean it's normal for him to abandon you alone with her, when it is indeed his fault.

[BetrayedH]

My $.02...

 

I don't think xMM really owes you an apology. He didn't bring her into your life. She brought herself into your life. If an old GF of mind started harrassing my current GF, I certainly would hope no one would blame me for her crazy. But I agree that an, "I'm sorry you're dealing with her" probably would have been a good idea on his part. I just don't think he really owes it to you and so I don't think you should be angry with him.

 

As for crazy OW, if you're just going to dish out some verbal payback, I wouldn't hesitate (or feel bad) since she's the one that opened this can of worms. That said, it may increase your drama rather than lessening it. I think that calculation is what you should focus on (rather than feeling bad for hurting her).

 

Good luck.

[mercy]

When one is in the mental health field they would or at least one would think, know better than to provoke an 'unstable' person.

 

Having a mean streak and venting it on another is a bit unhealthy.

 

She's hurting just as any OW/OOW/OOOW hurts when their heart is broke.

[eleanorrigby]

I know you are angry, but you should consider what Mercy said. It's a bad idea to provoke this woman! Leave it alone.

 

And for what it's worth, I'd be furious at him as well.

Edited October 9, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote that was deleted

[UpwardForward]

Of course MM having affairs will only care about their selves.

 

My H wasn't confrontational either, and was as burying his head or hiding - so I know it can be frustrating when a man doesn't share our emotion or feelings of priorities..

 

IMO, you will only have peace when you befriend her, share with and counsel her.

[AnotherRound]

I know you are angry, but you should consider what Mercy said. It's a bad idea to provoke this woman! Leave it alone.

 

And for what it's worth, I'd be furious at him as well.

 

I have left it alone... so far. I won't consider what she said bc she said it back handedly. And, she didn't offer any insight, only a dig. Her intent was not to offer insight - it was to take a dig at my professional self.

 

Anyway, I have left it alone. And that is how I have handled it so far. She hasn't gotten a word back from me. Thing is, if she keeps prodding, and ignoring her isn't working, I feel I have will little choice but to dose her back some of her own venom. I know she is hurt - but she is aiming at me, and I'm not the target. Sometimes, when people poke the bear, they will get bitten. Unstable or not, that's a consequence. She is digging for info, and info I have will hurt her. If she persists, she will get the info she wants - but she should probably be careful what she wishes for.

 

I am disappointed in him. I know he had no way of knowing she was unstable before getting involved with her, but now he knows. He said he tried to reason with her, and it didn't work, she just got crazier. So, he is now trying the RO and ignoring her. Which has kept her out of his life somewhat, although she continues to talk to anyone and everyone she can about the situation. She seems histrionic to me, and I can handle that.

 

She has just picked a REALLY bad time to jack with me. Not her fault, but again - consequences.

[Owl]

What I'd asked in your "angry" thread part 1 also pertains here, too.

 

Re-read the opening post of this thread from your professional viewpoint, as if a patient were relaying it.

 

What advice would you give? How would you counsel this person? What course of action would you recommend?

[AnotherRound]

Of course MM having affairs will only care about their selves.

 

My H wasn't confrontational either, and was as burying his head or hiding - so I know it can be frustrating when a man doesn't share our emotion or feelings of priorities..

 

IMO, you will only have peace when you befriend her, share with and counsel her.

 

Nope. I purposely avoid crazy people in my personal life. I have seen enough already to know that she is not anyone that I want anywhere near my life. ExMM tried to deal with her, and she got worse. So now he is ignoring her. I see his reasoning, but I'm not sure that ignoring her is what is best for me right now. I think I could stop the contact pretty quickly with a few tidbits of information about her. It would hurt her, but it would also let her know that she probably doesn't want to know what I know - and she would probably back off. I'm not about to give into an old lady who is having a tantrum - tantrums don't work with me. She is trying to manipulate, and she maybe needs to know, in no uncertain terms, that it will not work for her this time, not with me.

[eleanorrigby]

 

Anyway, I have left it alone. And that is how I have handled it so far. She hasn't gotten a word back from me. Thing is, if she keeps prodding, and ignoring her isn't working, I feel I have will little choice but to dose her back some of her own venom. I know she is hurt - but she is aiming at me, and I'm not the target. Sometimes, when people poke the bear, they will get bitten. Unstable or not, that's a consequence. She is digging for info, and info I have will hurt her. If she persists, she will get the info she wants - but she should probably be careful what she wishes for.

 

I am disappointed in him. I know he had no way of knowing she was unstable before getting involved with her, but now he knows. He said he tried to reason with her, and it didn't work, she just got crazier. So, he is now trying the RO and ignoring her. Which has kept her out of his life somewhat, although she continues to talk to anyone and everyone she can about the situation. She seems histrionic to me, and I can handle that.

 

She has just picked a REALLY bad time to jack with me. Not her fault, but again - consequences.

 

One dose is just going to get her salivating for more.

I know it's hard, I find it impossible to ignore people. But I know logically that it's for the best in situations like this. If you can ignore her, you should do it.

 

You should be disappointed in him. He brought this into everyones life around him, including his kid.

[AnotherRound]

What I'd asked in your "angry" thread part 1 also pertains here, too.

 

Re-read the opening post of this thread from your professional viewpoint, as if a patient were relaying it.

 

What advice would you give? How would you counsel this person? What course of action would you recommend?

 

I didn't see your post in the other thread, sorry. That's what I'm doing right now - not engaging. This is email #2 within about a week, and I haven't responded to her at all. I haven't contacted her, replied, or contacted anyone except exMM (and my best friend) about it at all. So far, she is doing it in secret - although I have saved the emails (screen shots) so that she can't deny her crazy behaviors in the future if it comes down to that.

 

My concern is that now that she does not have access to exMM or his stbxw, that she is obsessing about me. She obviously took the time to find my work website and contact me after I blocked her from my personal email.

 

If it was a client, I would say the same thing that BH said above. How much drama are you willing to deal with? I think she somewhat "deserves" to have some of her venom thrown back at her, and it would be a good lesson to her to know her "enemy" before engaging maybe. But, I also know that she is unstable, and more hurt might send her into a tail spin. However, I also feel that I can't protect everyone from themselves - and if they choose to engage in a "war" they should be prepared for the fallout of that. It isn't my job to protect her - especially when she is attempting to attack me. At that point, I have to protect myself, as she certainly isn't concerned about my well being.

 

Good point - and how I'm handling it so far. Not sure if that will change if she continues to contact me. I can't block her on the other email due to the way it is set up through the website. But at some point she has to take responsibility for attacking me and then deal with whatever that brings her way. I won't find her physically, but honestly feel like I can stop the attacks verbally - and with no more energy than it takes to type out a few things to her that would let her know that she is battling far above her league with this. Especially considering that she seems so emotionally fragile - but again, maybe she should think of that before she lashes out at people she doesn't know.

[2sunny]

Of course it's hurtful that MM won't apologize... It may not be HIS to apologize for...but he could certainly show some empathy for your position.

 

IF he never had her as his OOW - she wouldn't be causing this chaos. He may not want to OWN how he participated...that in itself is a problem if he doesn't like to apologize.

 

You REALLY dont need HIS apology - but this does tell you something about HIM, his lack of character.the principle of the matter is - I wouldn't want a man like him... He's not considering YOUR feelings, your hurt, your INTRUSION.

 

Saying SOMETHING to her is better than saying NOTHING. Don't be that "victim" by staying silent - respond with few words. " you contact again and I'll notify the authorities"!

[AnotherRound]

One dose is just going to get her salivating for more.

I know it's hard, I find it impossible to ignore people. But I know logically that it's for the best in situations like this. If you can ignore her, you should do it.

 

You should be disappointed in him. He brought this into everyones life around him, including his kid.

 

That's exactly what exMM said... that she lives for this sort of thing. That she has nothing else in her life to occupy her, so she spends her time engaging in self created drama. I guess my thought is that I could end it quickly with a few verbal spars. But, you're probably right - the hurt they would cause her may just make her more determined to continue. She does seem to be the type to just keep coming back for more "abuse" I guess.

 

I will let it alone for now. I'm hoping that she will give up. But if her behavior towards exMM and his stbxw is any indication of her MO, she is probably not done yet. I will let her lead the way. If she continues, I will defend myself however necessary. And like I said, she just has no idea what a bad time she picked - not her fault, but she should have considered all the outcomes prior to engaging. At some point, it won't be my fault if she has to handle my responses - especially if she keeps begging for it.

[AnotherRound]

Of course it's hurtful that MM won't apologize... It may not be HIS to apologize for...but he could certainly show some empathy for your position.

 

IF he never had her as his OOW - she wouldn't be causing this chaos. He may not want to OWN how he participated...that in itself is a problem if he doesn't like to apologize.

 

You REALLY dont need HIS apology - but this does tell you something about HIM, his lack of character.the principle of the matter is - I wouldn't want a man like him... He's not considering YOUR feelings, your hurt, your INTRUSION.

 

Saying SOMETHING to her is better than saying NOTHING. Don't be that "victim" by staying silent - respond with few words. " you contact again and I'll notify the authorities"!

 

I agree. I didn't bring her into this, he did. Even though it was after I broke up with him - I think that's part of the problem. She knew that he had seen me for 7 years prior to her, and he was still trying to work it out with me - kind of using her as a filler. I don't like that at all, but it is what it is. He doesn't handle his business the way I would - disappointing.

 

But I think she has somehow figured out that he has been contacting me - apparently she is quite the stalker. Maybe she got his phone records, I don't know. So now she is focused on me - in a big way. I feel sorry for her bc she is so hurt - but also bc she is attempting to engage with me, bc I can be very "not nice" when need be. It's a way to assert my boundaries with people who just don't get it - and it's pretty effective.

 

I haven't replied yet - and probably won't as of yet. I'm thinking though that if I get a third contact - I will need to. If silence doesn't show her that I'm reluctant to engage, she possibly thinks it is bc I'm hurt or scared. It won't be my fault if she continues to pursue me and I respond and am neither hurt or scared (I'm not) and she realizes that I was reluctant for HER benefit, not mine.

[UpwardForward]

One dose is just going to get her salivating for more.

I know it's hard, I find it impossible to ignore people. But I know logically that it's for the best in situations like this. If you can ignore her, you should do it.

 

You should be disappointed in him. He brought this into everyones life around him, including his kid.

 

This is how the W or betrayed spouse feels when H brings the OW to the doorstep.

 

It affects everyone in the family.

[AnotherRound]

This is how the W or betrayed spouse feels when H brings the OW to the doorstep.

 

It affects everyone in the family.

 

I'm aware. I was a BW before. And I never showed up on the doorstep. I'm not sure if you're familiar with my actual situation, but it wasn't a deceptive affair. The stbxw was aware of me, told before hand that he was going to see me outside of the marriage, and we never rubbed it in her face.

 

So, there was no shock or surprise, and I never crossed over into HER world any more than she was comfortable with. I took those cues from her.

[2sunny]

I'd respond toner with a very curt and firm boundary.

 

Use few words! Relay a very solid message.

 

"You contact again - and I'll call the police and notify the courts!"

[UpwardForward]

I'm aware. I was a BW before. And I never showed up on the doorstep. I'm not sure if you're familiar with my actual situation, but it wasn't a deceptive affair. The stbxw was aware of me, told before hand that he was going to see me outside of the marriage, and we never rubbed it in her face.

 

So, there was no shock or surprise, and I never crossed over into HER world any more than she was comfortable with. I took those cues from her.

 

I was using 'doorstep' figuratively.

 

Whether the W knows or doesn't, imo it's still as the cat bringing a rodent to the doorstep.

[AnotherRound]

I was using 'doorstep' figuratively.

 

Whether the W knows or doesn't, imo it's still as the cat bringing a rodent to the doorstep.

 

I disagree. Imo, both exMM and his stbxw were EXACTLY where they wanted to be. She was aware, and had the exact relationship that she wanted - or allowed, either way, she was exactly where she CHOSE to be. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right? When people say that the WS could leave the marriage - it's exactly the same for the BS. If the BS in my situation, who was well aware of the situation, decided to stay - that's on her. Looking at that any other way is hypocritical, and expecting far more from one spouse than the other. Why didn't she leave? Maybe she was afraid of the same things that exMM was about divorce? She stayed because she WANTED to stay. He didn't force her, he didn't lock her in or hold a gun to her head. Same if the situation was reversed - it gets old hearing that the WS should have "done the right thing" and left, when it's exactly the same for the BS if they are privy to the information and choose to stay themselves.

 

So, in my situation, I "blame" both of them equally for the state of their marriage, and then for my allowed involvement.

 

In this situation, with the gf that came after me, I don't accept her involvement bc I was NOT involved when she was. She was not a part of my life at all, by my choice. Her issue is with exMM and his stbxw, not with me - but since she doesn't have access to them, she is lashing out at me. I understand her hurt, but her anger is misaimed. And, if she gets hurt bc of that, then that's HER problem - not mine. Honestly, I'm going to give her one more chance to stop contacting me. If she continues, and ignores my warning, then all bets are off. She can suffer the consequences of that and I won't have a moment's remorse.

 

People should think long and hard before they attempt to hurt someone else purposely bc they never know how capable that person is in defending themselves. If she doesn't contemplate consequences, or has misjudged me, that is HER problem, and I won't feel bad for being able to swiftly defend myself and my boundaries - emotional and physical.

[whichwayisup]

AR don't do it. You're dealing with someone who is not mentally stable. Look, I know it pisses you off but right now it's words on a screen. As much as it angers you, makes you want to lash out on her, don't!! Completely ignore and don't give her that power over you to react in any way. I think if you respond, you'll be cracking open a beehive and get stung much worse than what is going on now. Again, DO NOT react. Ignore. Control your feelings to want to hurt and get her back. Don't stoop to her level.

 

 

Problem is, as soon as exMM was sure that he was not going to be affected by the email (which I think was his first and foremost concern), he was done talking about it. I wasn't done. I wanted him to apologize for bringing this crazy person to my doorstep - he refused. Said he can't control "crazy a**holes" and has no desire to be in contact with her at all - as if he does, she will NEVER GO AWAY. He said he has found the best way to handle her is to ignore her and maybe eventually she will "get the picture" and go away.

 

The thing you need to realize, and I think this is also fueling your anger, you want him to react too on your behalf, to help you cope/deal with this and he's told you now a few times he doesn't want to get involved. He's clearly washed his hands of it all and wants to ignore and move on. For your own sanity, stop asking him/telling him about ex crazy OW. I agree with him, ignore her!

 

If she shows up at your house or work, call the cops. Then get an RO against her, but until that happens, just try not to let her get to you so much.

[AnotherRound]

Don't engage. It's only happened once. Let it go.

 

Twice. And I haven't engaged. I will give her 3 strikes and she is out. So, for now, no engaging. One more attempt to contact me against my will - as shown by my silence and not responding to her - and I will let her know exactly where I stand and what I know. If she is hurt by that, I will take no responsibility for her pushing my boundaries and getting the consequences of that.

[whichwayisup]

People should think long and hard before they attempt to hurt someone else purposely bc they never know how capable that person is in defending themselves. If she doesn't contemplate consequences, or has misjudged me, that is HER problem, and I won't feel bad for being able to swiftly defend myself and my boundaries - emotional and physical.

 

Keep that in mind if you choose to go after her. What you put out there, you might get back 100 times worse... You do realize that she IS unstable, and you'll be putting your own life in danger. Who knows what she is capable of.

 

DO NOT contact her. Ignore..For your own protection! Nobody wants to read in the papers or see on the news that young women injured/killed by jealous ex lover.

[AnotherRound]

Keep that in mind if you choose to go after her. What you put out there, you might get back 100 times worse... You do realize that she IS unstable, and you'll be putting your own life in danger. Who knows what she is capable of.

 

DO NOT contact her. Ignore..For your own protection! Nobody wants to read in the papers or see on the news that young women injured/killed by jealous ex lover.

 

Agreed. And I've thought of that. I think I'm capable of handling whatever she throws my way. I have said it before, but I am absolutely without fear. I have been through FAR worse than she could throw at me, and am confident that I will come out on the other side with minimal, if any, damage. If she doesn't kill me, by actually taking my life, she will not harm me at all. And, if she plans on killing me, she better be prepared for the fight of her life, bc people have TRIED to kill me before, and here I am. And that was when I was a child battling an adult - so, I'm pretty sure I can handle it.

 

That's the problem here. I don't think she has any idea what I have handled in my life, and she is nothing more than an annoyance. Literally, zero fear on my side. She seems much more fragile than me, and it would be a huge mistake for her to continue to engage with me. I am giving her one more chance to make the best decision for her, which would be to leave me be - bc she does not want any part of me, I'm sure. I KNOW I can handle it - not so sure she can. But again, if she has underestimated me, that is her problem and her consequence. And I'm guessing from her contacting me at all that she has DEF underestimated me. When she figures that out, if she does, she will be sorry that she ever attempted to damage me - bc she will see, nothing she has or can do will even register on my "damage" scale, bc it's all so silly when compared what I've already endured.

 

I hope she figures it out before she is hurt by my words - but if she doesn't, it's on her. Like I said - one more chance. And then I will verbally defend myself in any way necessary. If that means hurting her feelings, then she should have thought of that before. I can already see her weaknesses just by her emails and what I've heard. I already KNOW her buttons and insecurities from that little information alone. I will not hesitate to use that against her if she continues to attempt to insert herself into my world against my boundaries.

[AnotherRound]

Don't engage at all. You're the professional. Don't come down to her level. Ignore and she will go away. I don't think our STBXMM owes you an apology either because he didn't know she was crazy. I think his sympathy is enough. Figure out what it is in her emails that is pushing your buttons.

 

What's pushing my buttons is that she is crossing my boundaries at a time when I have NO patience for it. I am dealing with my own emotional issues today bc of my Mom's murder. I do not have the patience to be nice to her when she is acting a fool and trying to trigger me. She isn't triggering me at all - I just have no energy to do the right thing right now bc I am already emotionally taxed by my own issues. Any other time of the year, and I probably would just blow it off. But today? this week? She's freakin' nuts if she thinks I'm going to deal with her stupid crap right now.

 

ExMM did empathize, but I still think he owes me an apology. Oh well, no matter - like I said, I will handle it my way end the end anyways. He knows me, he knows that, and he feels sorry for her that she is trying to engage with me. He knows both of us and he even said that she is not prepared for me. Well, again, she should have thought of that. She should choose her battles more carefully. Maybe this will be a lesson to her that her histrionic tantrums are not always going to get her way for her. Maybe she will learn from it. If not, I'm pretty confident she'll leave me alone.

[Owl]

Just use the fact that she CAN'T make you be afraid...the fact that she IS just merely an annoyance as your armor against making a bad choice and creating a worse situation by engaging her.

 

In fact...sounds to me like you should feel sorry for her...or perhaps recommend to someone who knows her to seek therapy (with someone other than you, of course! ).

 

I've been physically threatened a few times...and it's similar to what you describe. The people who were trying to threaten me simply had no concept whatsoever about me...no concept at all at what the possible outcomes of such a confrontation could be. In fact...it didn't even anger me. They COULDN'T have known...and their very ignorance prevented me from even seeing them as a real threat...so there was no need for me to do anything about them.

 

You should view her in the same manner.