lolita jade Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I was with my husband for 22 years. He met someone else, who I thought was on the rebound but he has been with her about 15 mouths and tells me and everyone else how happy he is and he feels settled. He hasn't asked for a divorce and I have even asked if he wants one. He says he hasn't even thought about it. I stupidly get upset and say I still have feelings for him. He gets really annoyed with me and says he has moved on and is very happy. I don't get it why does he not want a divorce if that happy?? I am happy most of the time but sometimes it gets too much for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 HaHa the standard reason is usually money. In his case who can say. Kinda hard to marry again if he's still married to you. The bigger question is why do you not file for divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolita jade Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 If I file I would have to pay. I have no one else. He even told me to f off when he got nasty to me when I said I had feelings for him. I know it was against all break up rules to tell him that but I was so upset he keeps telling me he is so happy. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 You should insist on a divorce. It's clear he's with the other woman and happy so you should be free to pursue another relationship. Tell your husband to get the money somewhere and file. I know it is a tough economy but there must be something he can do. Do you have alot of property together and kids? If not it should not cost too much. It is best that you go complete NC with him so you can heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Not sure if you are in USA but clearly you have confusion about the reality of money & divorce. Who informed you that the petitioner pays? I do not understand your comment about not having anyone. You have one husband, he has cheated on you, abandoned your marriage and home but you refuse to file for divorce. I get that you want him back. Eventually you'll see this situation for what it is. Perhaps financially it's best for you to remain married? No idea of your age, job status or joint debt. Logs of info not revealed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolita jade Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 I tried to be friends on a basis of seeing him every few months but I cant because I get upset when he says we do went there and we are doing this. He doesnt joke and his eyes are dead if you know what I mean. It's so sad. My daughter gets married on 27/10 and it will be the first time I meet the ow. I think it is playing on my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Well it's clear your marriage is over. Just go ahead and file for divorce! Why are you waiting when you know he doesn't want you anymore? Why are you doing this to yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolita jade Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 He did not cheat we were separated before he met her. I am in the uk. No confusion between reality of divorce and finance. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 If you were separated before he met her he is within his rights to have a new girlfriend. You have to accept that you and him cannot be friends because you still want him and he doesn't feel the same about you. Move on and file for divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninja'sHusband Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I was with my husband for 22 years. He met someone else, who I thought was on the rebound but he has been with her about 15 mouths and tells me and everyone else how happy he is and he feels settled. He hasn't asked for a divorce and I have even asked if he wants one. He says he hasn't even thought about it. I stupidly get upset and say I still have feelings for him. He gets really annoyed with me and says he has moved on and is very happy. I don't get it why does he not want a divorce if that happy?? I am happy most of the time but sometimes it gets too much for me. I think people are probably right, the bigger question is why don't you do it? But, probably the only one here who can answer your real question is you. Why do you think he doesn't file? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolita jade Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 I will go strict nc for good after the wedding. Do you think if he divorces he will be forced to marry her and that is why he is putting it off? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 No, why would he be forced to marry her when it is clear he is happy with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Your primary concern needs to be your own well being. That includes happiness and financial stability. Why or anything else about his motives or future decisions is not your concern. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I was with my husband for 22 years. He met someone else, who I thought was on the rebound [...] At the risk of getting too specific, when you say "rebound", it somehow implies that you dumped him and he was rebounding. Or am I reading that wrong? Apologies if I am. Link to post Share on other sites
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