ffw Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Hello LS. How's everyone doing? I am posting after some time here. I am stuck in a little complicated situation & I will be thankful for any thoughts & insights. I will try to keep it as short as possble. I met this girl one year back when we were both studying a language course together. We became good friends. I was always attracted to her & tried my best know her better. Anyways, after finishing her studies she moved back to her country but we were still in contact. With time our contact slowly drifted away. We recently came in contact with each other & I released I still have feelings for her. Here's the deal. At this point, I have no idea whether she is interested in me or even has a BF. I know I can find out the answers in time. The thing is even if the answers are positive still I don't know how things can workout since we are literally separated by continents & have our own carrers. Also, I am a bit afraid that I may lose her if I express my feelings for her. Should I still keep contact with her? I know its not a big problem but I would like to have someone's opinion who can see the situation from the outside. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 How can you lose something you don't have? Only you know adequate facts regarding your willingness and ability to travel. Potential opportunity for relocation with certain employment visa and such. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ffw Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 Thanks Balzac. I am going to take it slow. Hope it works out. Link to post Share on other sites
gamman Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) I'd consider your own sanity. If keeping in contact with her in the same way that you have been is causing you to be batty, make a move -- ask her if she has BF, etc. -- so you can figure out what you want to do with the relationship and have some peace. Generally speaking, LDR do not work out. There are exceptions, but the vast majority don't. With that aside, LDR are not for everyone. Even if you do talk to her, and she's interested, is that truly the type of realtionship you want? Does it seem plausible that you two could ever be together? If you do want to try a LDR, you say you know her fairly well. I'd just express my feelings and take it from there. No need to torture yourself or drive yourself nuts over this, which is what i can see happening. Good luck. Edited October 9, 2012 by gamman Link to post Share on other sites
Author ffw Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) I'd consider your own sanity. If keeping in contact with her in the same way that you have been is causing you to be batty, make a move -- ask her if she has BF, etc. -- so you can figure out what you want to do with the relationship and have some peace. Generally speaking, LDR do not work out. There are exceptions, but the vast majority don't. You say you know her fairly well. I'd just express my feelings and take it from there. No need to torture yourself or drive yourself nuts over this, which is what i can see happening. Good luck. Good points & observation. Basically, that's the reason (in bolded parts) I started this thread. I know LDR in most cases won't work. Been there done that. We came in contact after 1 year & I don't know how things are with her. Thus, I am not sure approaching directly, without knowing her little more better, could be the best option. Edited October 9, 2012 by ffw Link to post Share on other sites
gamman Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I know LDR in most cases won't work. Been there done that. 1) Would you move to where she is? 2) Why don't you hint around and see if she would ever want to live in another city or different part of the world? See if she loves her career and wouldn't leave her job for anything? This can all be done in casual conversation. Talk about traveling. Talk about work. Just generally. No need to get into your feelings or anything. Your answer to 1 and hers to 2 will be a good guide on how to proceed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ffw Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 1) Would you move to where she is? 2) Why don't you hint around and see if she would ever want to live in another city or different part of the world? See if she loves her career and wouldn't leave her job for anything? This can all be done in casual conversation. Talk about traveling. Talk about work. Just generally. No need to get into your feelings or anything. Your answer to 1 and hers to 2 will be a good guide on how to proceed. I can answer your 1st question. If things are serious between us & I could find a job within my area. Then it's possible. The latter question I can bring up to her in next conversation. At this point, I know she still has to make future plans. She doing this job as a part time. No worries. I won't get overly emotional Link to post Share on other sites
gamman Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Good luck, man! Link to post Share on other sites
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