Best friends for 10 years... now I like him. But he has a girlfriend.

[spiderowl]

I feel sorry for everyone in this situation as you all have your own stories as to how you got there.

 

I think you are doing the right thing by getting out of this triangle. If your friend and his girlfriend are going to make it work, they now have a chance. If they are not, it will fall apart and you can console yourself with the fact that you weren't there when it did.

 

Who knows what will happen now? Either this guy is going to realise you are the one he wants and leave his girlfriend or he'll stay with her. He probably does feel guilty about leaving her. He's probably spent ages reassuring her that his best friend (you) is not a threat to his girlfriend, so how could he leave her for you now? Regardless of how guilty he feels, his true feelings will evolve and they could go either way. You are in a wait and see situation but obviously, if possible, it's best you build your own life without this friend and see if you can't help yourself now that you've withdrawn from the scene. I do think this is the best thing to do. You need to give him the space to work out his own feelings.

 

If he really wants to be with you instead of his girlfriend, then I suspect even if he stays with her, he will unconsciously find ways of ending the relationship - making mistakes, not being emotionally present, picking arguments, that kind of thing. If he truly wants you instead, their relationship will fall apart. The whole thing is sad really. You are hurting now, she may be hurting later. You may be alone later. It sounds like you know how much is at stake here. I wish you luck and peace however things go.

[Phoe]

Thank you spiderowl

 

I'm going to spend this time clearing my head and continuing to build a life for myself. I start a new job tomorrow so I'm heading in a new direction, and hopefully I will be able to keep my mind occupied by focusing on this new workplace.