bud17 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 hi all I'll try keep this short, i had an affair with a MM last year..i fell for him and vice versa..in the end we got found out which pretty much tore us apart ( we live 3 hours away from eachother) so he basically was not allowed to come to my city to visit hes family without hes wife in toe. We kept contact even though we didnt see eachother in over 6 months..then boom! the shocker..hes wife was pregnant. This indeed was predictable but at the same time ripped my heart out. There had been no contact in nearly 3 months until i recieved an email wishing me a happy birthday and at the end was 'will be thinking of you x'...i must admit my heart skipped a beat and i felt so happy but what does this mean? does he still have feelings for me or was he just being nice?..we can never be together because of circumstances but i cant help wonder why the contact Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 hi all I'll try keep this short, i had an affair with a MM last year..i fell for him and vice versa..in the end we got found out which pretty much tore us apart ( we live 3 hours away from eachother) so he basically was not allowed to come to my city to visit hes family without hes wife in toe. We kept contact even though we didnt see eachother in over 6 months..then boom! the shocker..hes wife was pregnant. This indeed was predictable but at the same time ripped my heart out. There had been no contact in nearly 3 months until i recieved an email wishing me a happy birthday and at the end was 'will be thinking of you x'...i must admit my heart skipped a beat and i felt so happy but what does this mean? does he still have feelings for me or was he just being nice?..we can never be together because of circumstances but i cant help wonder why the contact You take it and accept it for what it is. A birthday wish. I ended things with DMM 4 years ago and every year after I got flowers on Valentines Day and my birthday. I felt really confused the first couple of times but after that it was just flowers on days he was thinking of me most. That's all it was to me. Keep it in perspective. Enjoy it but remember it means nothing more than what it means. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RAN65 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 hi all I'll try keep this short, i had an affair with a MM last year..i fell for him and vice versa..in the end we got found out which pretty much tore us apart ( we live 3 hours away from eachother) so he basically was not allowed to come to my city to visit hes family without hes wife in toe. We kept contact even though we didnt see eachother in over 6 months..then boom! the shocker..hes wife was pregnant. This indeed was predictable but at the same time ripped my heart out. There had been no contact in nearly 3 months until i recieved an email wishing me a happy birthday and at the end was 'will be thinking of you x'...i must admit my heart skipped a beat and i felt so happy but what does this mean? does he still have feelings for me or was he just being nice?..we can never be together because of circumstances but i cant help wonder why the contact "What does it mean" His wife is pregnant, it mean all. No words for me to say better than this. You can assume the rest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tenacity Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) OP -- I would agree with the others. Try not to make too much of his wishing you a happy birthday. Take it as a sign that he did care and is thinking about you. Edited October 9, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Response to deleted post 2 Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 It means that in between doctors appointments with the pregnant wife, and painting the nursery and discussing baby names, he got a fleeting thought of you and thought "aw...her birthday is coming up...why would I let her move on when I can mess with her head?" So he writes you a short message, makes sure he leaves you clinging saying he'll be thinking of you. How sweet. He got his ego stroke, now you're all trying to make sense of it, while he's happy and already back mentally to his life. Do not respond. Do not attach any value to his wish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 It means that in between doctors appointments with the pregnant wife, and painting the nursery and discussing baby names, he got a fleeting thought of you and thought "aw...her birthday is coming up...why would I let her move on when I can mess with her head?" So he writes you a short message, makes sure he leaves you clinging saying he'll be thinking of you. How sweet. He got his ego stroke, now you're all trying to make sense of it, while he's happy and already back mentally to his life. Do not respond. Do not attach any value to his wish. Man! That visual really ercks me! ....eeeegads!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Birthdays were funny in my A. I only had 1 bday during the A. We had gotten into an argument a few days before my bday and he totally ignored me and didn't bother wishing me a happy birthday and it hurt a lot, that really hurt my feelings so much. A ends months later... Every birthday that's passed since, I get a happy birthday email on my birthday from him only to delete it and not reply, because now I am NC and now his bday wish is meaningless and the only time it mattered to me, he didn't bother.... Op, the guy is sending you a bday wish to stay on your radar and stay in your mind. Please don't respond. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 He's thinking that if he ever gets away to your city without the wife, i would be great to have sex with you before he heads back to his wife and kids. Sounds like a great guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 hi all I'll try keep this short, i had an affair with a MM last year..i fell for him and vice versa..in the end we got found out which pretty much tore us apart ( we live 3 hours away from eachother) so he basically was not allowed to come to my city to visit hes family without hes wife in toe. We kept contact even though we didnt see eachother in over 6 months..then boom! the shocker..hes wife was pregnant. This indeed was predictable but at the same time ripped my heart out. There had been no contact in nearly 3 months until i recieved an email wishing me a happy birthday and at the end was 'will be thinking of you x'...i must admit my heart skipped a beat and i felt so happy but what does this mean? does he still have feelings for me or was he just being nice?..we can never be together because of circumstances but i cant help wonder why the contact It means nothing. don't get your hopes up. His wife is pregnant and the A is over. He reached out to because he was just being nice to wish you a happy birthday. DO NOT read into this or think that this has opened the door to the A to continue. Email him back, thank him for the bday wishes..Then wish him well and tell him it would be best if he didn't email you again, that the A is over, that he has no plans on divorcing his wife, leaving behind his newborn child to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Do not email back. You will feel like @#$% waiting and wondering why he hasn't replied, and he'll get a boost from the attention and knowing you're still available to his one line emails. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Yup, he threw the fishing line out, waiting for a nibble to reel you in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bud17 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Share Posted October 25, 2012 hi guys, thanks for all the replies..i caved and emailed him back saying thank you and like a fool said i missed him! stupid i know. He replied saying he wasnt sure if i was talking to him but he really really wanted to wish me a happy birthday and he was glad now that he did. There were a few emails back and forth for 2 days, small chit chat about how things were (more so about how i was getting on tbh because alot has changed in my life since the split, bare in mind we talked for hours everyday for months, he was like a best friend too) he replied hes so happy for me etc etc..i asked him a question in my last email (nothing to do with the affair) and i never got a reply, that was over 2 weeks ago. As you know i was so happy to here from him but then..nothing again! Whats hes problem? If he wanted to move on and have no contact anymore why is he sending me emails and then suddenly stopping again? I agree with what some of ye said, testing the waters maybe to see if i still hold him in such high regard which he soo knows i do now!! I feel stupid yet again...hes birthday is coming up soon and i know he will be expecting me to send him a birthday wish..i cant believe im saying this but im actually not going to, totally ignoring my email was the final straw for me, how rude..but its my fault for replying, aint gonna let it happen again Link to post Share on other sites
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