Jealousy

[Sophia]

I am a 28 year old woman who is engaged. My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for nearly 4 years. I had a disturbing dream last night. I dreamed that I found a photo of a beautiful former secretary of my fiancee in his pocket. This woman appeared in the dream and she and my fiancee were talking,and laughing. Upon awakening, I felt angry and somewhat disturbed. In real life this beauty and my fiancee worked long hours together and socialized after work sometimes. I have a vibe that he was attracted to her. He denied that anything was going on with her. The strange part of this is that she married moved to another state about two years ago. My fiancee and I have a stormy relationship. A deep love exists however there is frequent conflict. He has made it known to me in the past that he "likes beautiful women." He has also said things that have made me feel inadequate about my appearance. I'm a tall,slim dark haired Hungarian girl. He says things like: "The best looking women that I've ever seen are in Dallas." I really don't fit the Texas chick image, pretty and all-American. I look like a european model with strong not pretty features. This secretary in the dream may represent my fears. I don't know?

[Deejette]

You feel insecure because your fiance remarks about " beuatiful women" but does not imply that he thinks you are beautiful. Personally, I would take it as an insult if a man I am with remarks on the beauty of other women and neglects to mention my own.

 

A romantic, big-hearted man may notice other women, but does it discreetly and spends more time telling his loved one how beautiful he thinks she is, not some other woman.

 

One of my friends go implants in her breasts because her boyfriend kept telling her that he liked big-breasted women and implied that she was inadequate. Well, after she got that operation and changed for him, he dumped her anyway.

 

Frankly, I don't like men who make the women they are with feel less-than-lovely! The poor women who try to please these ingrates are to be pitied because they will never be pretty enough to please His Majesty.

I am a 28 year old woman who is engaged. My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for nearly 4 years. I had a disturbing dream last night. I dreamed that I found a photo of a beautiful former secretary of my fiancee in his pocket. This woman appeared in the dream and she and my fiancee were talking,and laughing. Upon awakening, I felt angry and somewhat disturbed. In real life this beauty and my fiancee worked long hours together and socialized after work sometimes. I have a vibe that he was attracted to her. He denied that anything was going on with her. The strange part of this is that she married moved to another state about two years ago. My fiancee and I have a stormy relationship. A deep love exists however there is frequent conflict. He has made it known to me in the past that he "likes beautiful women." He has also said things that have made me feel inadequate about my appearance. I'm a tall,slim dark haired Hungarian girl. He says things like: "The best looking women that I've ever seen are in Dallas." I really don't fit the Texas chick image, pretty and all-American. I look like a european model with strong not pretty features. This secretary in the dream may represent my fears. I don't know?

[Tim]

Your stormy relationship could turn into a stormy marriage. Conflicts in any relationship are to be expected. How these conflicts are resolved is most important.

 

I would not dwell too much on the dream. Our idle minds are capable of coming up with some crazy stuff at times.

 

About your statement:

 

"He has also said things that have made me feel inadequate about my appearance."

 

Try to brush up your self-confidence and self-esteem. Know for yourself that you are a beautiful person. No one can take that from you--if you truly know it. Then, it will not matter who they look at or what they say. Having this level of confidence in yourself will also command respect from others. Those who do not give you that respect will fall away from you in due time.