SpiralOut Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I am having issues with someone at work who talks extremely loud. Normally it doesn't bother me unless we are in the breakroom and we're standing close to each other. She continues to talk extremely loudly to me even when I'm only one foot away from her face. It pisses me off. I'm not imagining it because others have commented on how they can hear her through the door, down the hallway, and down into the staircase when she's in there talking. I've been reacting badly to it. She'll say something perfectly normal but she's talking so loudly so closely to my face that I feel angry and kind of insulted. In front of other people is worse because I feel put on the spot. She already gossips about everyone and says judgemental things, so that doesn't help. I don't hide my anger very well. Everyone sees how pissed I get with her. I probably look crazy, but seriously get out of my freaking face and stop yelling. I'm not deaf. Today I became extra angry because she asked me a question, I asked her what she meant, and she got distracted by my coffee mug and told me there's no more coffee. She completely changed the subject. Okay. Just answer my question please. I'm not stupid. I can figure out for myself there is no coffee. You don't need to point out the obvious to me. I stood there just staring at her with disbelief. She thought I didn't understand her and started talking even louder. It was really rude of her, IMO. Either shut up, or answer the question I asked you, and stop talking so loud!! How do I tell someone to get out of my face?
todreaminblue Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I am having issues with someone at work who talks extremely loud. Normally it doesn't bother me unless we are in the breakroom and we're standing close to each other. She continues to talk extremely loudly to me even when I'm only one foot away from her face. It pisses me off. I'm not imagining it because others have commented on how they can hear her through the door, down the hallway, and down into the staircase when she's in there talking. I've been reacting badly to it. She'll say something perfectly normal but she's talking so loudly so closely to my face that I feel angry and kind of insulted. In front of other people is worse because I feel put on the spot. She already gossips about everyone and says judgemental things, so that doesn't help. I don't hide my anger very well. Everyone sees how pissed I get with her. I probably look crazy, but seriously get out of my freaking face and stop yelling. I'm not deaf. Today I became extra angry because she asked me a question, I asked her what she meant, and she got distracted by my coffee mug and told me there's no more coffee. She completely changed the subject. Okay. Just answer my question please. I'm not stupid. I can figure out for myself there is no coffee. You don't need to point out the obvious to me. I stood there just staring at her with disbelief. She thought I didn't understand her and started talking even louder. It was really rude of her, IMO. Either shut up, or answer the question I asked you, and stop talking so loud!! How do I tell someone to get out of my face? She could be hard of hearing......have some compassion ask her nicely does she realise she is yelling at you...and tell her it makes you uncomfortable don't whine about it make the situation better would be the most mature action on your part..best wishes.deb
carhill Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I had this issue with two SE Asian women, likely Hmong/Cambodian, given my local demographic, who were practically yelling in their native language on the plane last night while in flight. In a densely packed aluminum tube going 450mph, there was little I could effectively do other than put in my ear plugs. On the ground I either avoid such people or tell them to tone it down, if their volume is directed at me during conversation. Around here, you're ten seconds away from a fist fight, so care should be expended in deciding how to handle such issues. Avoidance is my usual method. Confrontation is generally last, and only when absolutely necessary. Also, due to introspection and psychological therapy, I came to realize my hearing is more sensitive than many people, so I factor that into the dynamic, as I did last night. What might be 'normal' to those ladies and most people was screeching to me, but it's possible that's on me, so I processed it that way. We landed and I never saw them again. Yea
Author SpiralOut Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 (edited) Umm yeah I really don't appreciate the way you generalized this to women. I AM a woman and I find this way of talking really irritating. I picked up the coffee thing to check to see if it was hot or cold. That's how I tell if it's fresh or not and before I could even set it back down she was harping at me about how the coffee isn't fresh it wasn't made today. Nobody asked for her opinion. It's not like I had poured it and was trying to drink it. It made me feel like she was correcting me in front of everyone, which I did NOT appreciate. The whole room went dead silent when she did that. I don't think she has a hearing problem. She's been told she's loud. I guess that's just the way she is, but it seriously pisses me off. Next time it happens I'll ask her if she realizes how loud she is talking. Or maybe I'll tell her she doesn't need to talk so loud when I'm standing so close. Guess I just want to make sure I'm not imagining how in my face she seems to be. She just talks too much. Edited October 10, 2012 by SpiralOut
FitChick Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Tell her to use her indoor voice. Then avoid her.
carhill Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I'm always fascinated with people in airports and on airplanes who yell into cell phones. Funnily, I can talk in a really quiet voice, even in a noisy airport, and people can hear me fine. I don't get it. My only supposition is that some people have no sense of their surroundings and the technology they're using. As I often say, their world is small and they fill it completely. No room for me or anyone else. That's OK I guess.
Million.to.1 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 People who talk to loud? You mean like every American????
carhill Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 People who talk to loud? You mean like every American???? . I heard this from a UW on the streets of Lviv, Ukraine no less. And I don't talk loud. It's that the police were sensitive and interested in anyone who spoke English. UW says 'Shh, why are you talking so loud?' I'm
amaysngrace Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Some people speak loudly to get attention. It seems like its working for her. Just sayin. 2
maryS Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I can't stand when people yell for me when I'm just in the next room. I literally jump out of my skin. I have very good hearing, thank you & there is no need to shout.
carhill Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 In such cases, like yelling from the next room or honking a car horn to 'summon' me, I just ignore them. This used to annoy my exW to no end
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