UT_longhorn Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 ran in to a girl I dated briefly 4 years back. it ended up being her birthday a week after so we had this exchange. Is the "rain check" a polite way to say decline? Or is it an actual offer for a next time? Me: still your number? Happy Birthday Good running into you the other week. 2:03 PM her: Yes this is still my number. Thanks you the birthday wish. It was good to see you too. Take care 4:48 PM her You know what I thought of the other day? "Hmm, (me) is working at (company XYZ) now." Lol. Yeah, I know I'm cheesy. 9:40 PM Me: I know...I got a lot of funny looks when I first started and introduced myself to people. Maybe that's why I got the job. 9:45 PM her: It was meant to be. I'm going to sleep. Night! 9:50 PM Me: night... 9:51 PM couple days later Me: So can i take you out for a belated birthday drink? 2:43 PM her: Rain check? This week is sort of hectic. I have a friend staying with me tomorrow night until Friday and another friend coming into town from Portland Friday through Monday. 6:02 PM Me: sounds good...enjoy your time with your friends!! let me know when you get free.... 7:58 PM Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Anytime a girl uses the phrase "take care" it is a nice way of saying there isn't anything here for you... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Doesn't read as rejection. Especially during her birthday week. I think it's difficult to read "take care" because this is a reconnection. Good luck with this. Link to post Share on other sites
xdahliax Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 It could be anything really. Technically, a raincheck means that the person is open to going out another time. She doesn't seem overly enthusiastic, but it's hard to tell over text. It might actually be a really hectic period for her. Try again and see what happens, you have nothing to lose. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 After the take care in her response I would of wrote her off. Then she initiated herself so it's a toss up but I'm still not crazy about the take care part. I'm leaning toward move it along young man! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptObvious Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 lol, who cares? Use the raincheck. Worst case scenario you don't get to spend your money. You haven't struck out until you miss 3 times, so take a minute out of your day next week and use your last 2 chances. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Anytime a girl uses the phrase "take care" it is a nice way of saying there isn't anything here for you... I say take care to the people i care for .......and i mean it.....means nothing less or more and i always have time for the people i care about......i want them to take care because i want them around particularly in being part of my life...i must be way out of the loop..prehistoricness showing by mean what you say, say what you mean..deb Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I say take care to the people i care for .......and i mean it.....means nothing less or more and i always have time for the people i care about......i want them to take care because i want them around particularly in being part of my life...i must be way out of the loop..prehistoricness showing by mean what you say, say what you mean..deb This in reference to a guy looking to score a date with a girl, not two friends catching up after not seeing each for a while.... YMMV though.. but it has always been my experience that when I was dating that if a girl uses the "take care" phrase it means look elsewhere... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UT_longhorn Posted October 10, 2012 Author Share Posted October 10, 2012 So I'm sort of 50-50 on this and that's why I was asking for opinions. she did say "take care" .. so I took that as..."take care of yourself going forward, since I wont be there to see". But then she initiated a text a few hours later. Second was when I asked her for a drink, she said rain check but didn't offer a make up time. But then again, she didn't have to even say rain check. she could have said..hey I can't my friends are coming into town and left it at that. so overall..50-50 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sydneysider1978 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 It's hard to tell. If I'm keen, I would usually suggest a firm alternative date. But she did tell you that she'd be free after Monday. Call her next week to ask her out properly ( time, day and place) that's the only way you'll know. Now, go do something something fun and don't over-analyse Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I use the phrase "take care" all the time. I had no idea people might take it negatively. Then again, if you toss it into the middle of a conversation, it can pretty much only be interpreted as an attempt to end the convo. But she did start it back up later on. 50-50 indeed. Ask her out again in a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 It sounds like she is worth asking out again after the day she says she would be free. At that point anything but arranging a firm date is a rejection. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I agree with AC, she tried to shake you off politely with the 'take care' ending in her first message. She kept responding to your questions afterwards but made no effort to try to reconnect with you. I'd say she isn't interested and too polite to say so. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Well, she is not crazy about you but I say give it a shot one more time. If I am keen and things are hectic, I make sure to offer a firm alternative day/time. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 If I am keen and things are hectic, I make sure to offer a firm alternative day/time. I think some people are clueless about this 'etiquette', and some people forget to offer an alternative. (but I'm still not sure if the woman in question is interested) Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I remember Seinfeld had a line in his stand up years ago where he would say "When people say 'take care', they might as well be saying 'take off'". I have talked to several people since then that say when they say 'take care' it's just another way of saying 'have a good day' or whatever. But I always remember that and myself kinda assume the person is saying 'have a good life'. Anyway, I digress. I think it's hard to say, but worth a shot. She does seem to be politely letting you know she's not interested, but yet keep in touch and see what she does with it. Or, just let her initiate. If she's interested, she will. Link to post Share on other sites
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