AWoo Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Long story short I come from a background full of emotional and verbal abuse. My addict mother and I never got along and my dad is out of the picture. I ended up getting way too serious with my ex boyfriend while we were dating, I was 14 and he was 17 and we broke up when I was 19 due to long distance with him in the military. Two or so months into our relationship he started becoming controlling and possessive, but I thought that was normal at that age.Overtime I became isolated from friends. We fought at least once a week and once he left for the military things got worse and he became super jealous and not the man I fell in love with. He broke up with me after we started getting along when I stayed for winter break and he started making hints towards marriage. I dodged a bullet but now I have a great guy and I have a wall up because I feel like he's too good. Link to post Share on other sites
MilitantPacifist Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Long story short I come from a background full of emotional and verbal abuse. My addict mother and I never got along and my dad is out of the picture. I ended up getting way too serious with my ex boyfriend while we were dating, I was 14 and he was 17 and we broke up when I was 19 due to long distance with him in the military. Two or so months into our relationship he started becoming controlling and possessive, but I thought that was normal at that age.Overtime I became isolated from friends. We fought at least once a week and once he left for the military things got worse and he became super jealous and not the man I fell in love with. He broke up with me after we started getting along when I stayed for winter break and he started making hints towards marriage. I dodged a bullet but now I have a great guy and I have a wall up because I feel like he's too good. Speaking as someone who's dated a girl with basically the same background, I can tell you that's a tough one. If you don't want to end up being the abuser in this relationship (which you will, quite naturally, based on your psychology) keep telling yourself that you have to base your actions on logic and evidence not on emotion. Your emotions (based on past treatment from family and your first bf) will tell you that this person is a liar and all his good intentions are building up to him screwing you over (in some indefinable way since you have, in fact, no evidence or reason for thinking this). So ignore your emotions when it comes time to act. Use your brain. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and flies like a duck, it's a duck (good guy). So treat him accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 What kind of therapy are you doing? Your inner child is guiding you - the one who was told they were worthless. You need a therapist to help bring out the anger at being raised that way, and the logic to see it doesn't have to explain you. Link to post Share on other sites
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