My Guide: how to get over them FAST

[AngrySmile]

I did that imagining one. With other guys. Yeah, I drove myself to tears on quite a few occasions. Now the internal dialogue is subdued. Still prevalent, but subdued.

 

But the going out and dating myself thing...man I can't do that. I say this because all I do is work and save to pay bills and (HOPEFULLY) move to Australia. But I understand the principle behind this.To love yourself once more and be comfortable in your own skin.

 

But eeeh. Buying clothes and stuff, not for me. Not my thing. Specially not up here, I hardly see any clothes that are even remotely close to my style. So that leaves going out. Ugh. Hate it now. Have to go with friends or its a wash and I feel depressed. So maybe I'm not there yet. Still got work t do before I can date myself.

 

Good lord I don't even know what I like anymore....

[mishy]

OP

 

When she texted you about giving your clothes back did you consider not replying at all? and after you did reply saying to toss it, did she reply back or did anything happen after that?

 

I am just anticipating what i shoudl do when this happens to me soon

[Pacman]

I dated myself once..

 

Found out he was a whore...

 

But he is a damn good looking whore that's for sure

[NavyAirTraffic]

OP

 

When she texted you about giving your clothes back did you consider not replying at all? and after you did reply saying to toss it, did she reply back or did anything happen after that?

 

I am just anticipating what i shoudl do when this happens to me soon

 

I'm guessing this is for me? I did consider it, I waited almost 1 hour to get my thoughts together. After thinking I decided to respond to avoid any further contact from her. She called me today but that's a different story. At the time I didn't want her thinking I didn't get the text, or any reason to text me again. So I sent a simple text. No nothing happened after that. She responded "ok, I understand" and that was the last contact for about a week until she Facebook stalked me.

 

When/if you get that text take your time and decide the best course of action. My advice, show zero emotion, nothing like "no but how are you doing". Take the text at face value, don't think too much about "what it means".

[mpa]

Also I know that my relationship was only 3.5 months, people with years in are probably looking down at that. I must say that I was devastated, this one hurt more than any other breakup COMBINED. I thought I had met "the one", I thought I had met the mother of my children. It was bliss to me and it walked out the door, I decided to take a stand!

I totally understand here. My ex and I were only together 7 months, but I had been single for YEARS before I met him. It was my shortest relationship, but the one that affected me the most. He was the first person I felt a connection with in a long time, and wanted to let in. I honestly was thinking it was impossible to feel those feelings as an adult, but I absolutely adored him and thought we were in it to win it. Then when he broke up with me I fell apart. Sucks.

[NavyAirTraffic]

I totally understand here. My ex and I were only together 7 months, but I had been single for YEARS before I met him. It was my shortest relationship, but the one that affected me the most. He was the first person I felt a connection with in a long time, and wanted to let in. I honestly was thinking it was impossible to feel those feelings as an adult, but I absolutely adored him and thought we were in it to win it. Then when he broke up with me I fell apart. Sucks.

 

This is almost exactly my story, length of relationship being the only difference. I had been single for over 3 years, and that one was a half a&& relationship, which I walked away from and never looked back. So thinking back my last "real" relationship was almost 10 years ago huh

[NavyAirTraffic]

Ok, I think what I have been doing has REALLY been working, and I think I have proof. For the last, almost month now, I've been looking at other women and NOBODY has compared to my ex. Almost disgusted by the thought of being with someone else. Well last night I got a text from her "I miss you" "can I come over". Well even though I am mad, I still care for her and wanted to see her. She came over, we talked, we had sex, she spent the night, just left 20mins ago. I had to get on here ASAP. There was a huge difference this time when I saw her.

 

-She was no longer the woman of my dreams- Instead of looking at her as the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on, my mind really focused on her flaws. Now she is beautiful, but as I looked at her, the vision of her that I had in my head didn't match what I was seeing. I remember several times thinking "never noticed that about her" "she really isn't perfect". I'm not saying I thought she was disgusting, but I believe I broke the fantasy a little.

 

-The hole in my heart is starting to fill Don't get me wrong, I liked having her over and seeing her but when I looked at her I didn't think "I need this woman" "I need her back". Seeing her was nice but it definitely didn't fill a void, almost like there was no void to fill. I remember I kept on saying "do I really want this", I looked at her with disdain instead of admiration.

 

I guess time will tell if what I am doing is working, but in the moment last night I felt different. I'd taken her off the pedestal (a little), I had began to enjoy my time and was uncertain if I wanted her back in my life. I never brought up "us" because I didn't want to. I wasn't heartbroken when she left this morning. I like her in my life but I don't think I want to give the effort to be with her again. I don't know if any of this makes sense to you guys, but instead of thinking "I need her in my life" I really started thinking "do I want her in my life".

[mishy]

this is very helpful, thanks, will be studying it closely