Begins and ends with women

[strongnrelaxed]

Here is an interesting article. Lest some think that I make this stuff up, here is an author sharing his experience getting married - a respectful and reasoned one I think.

 

Thankfully, My Wife had the Courage to Leave Me

 

I noticed that it was his wife who initiated the "jokes about rings" and who eventually suggested that "it isn't working".

 

This is perhaps the most common marriage pattern I have ever seen and I wish I had written it.

 

So, who initiated your marriage?

[TaraMaiden]

My H. (10 Char's.)

[CarboniteCammy]

my husband was the one really pushing for it. he actually arranged most of the ceremony (although it was very small) and got the cake as well.

 

there are alot of divorces out there. i come from a divorced family where my dad was the one who wanted out and cheated. then, 12 years later, he cheated on my step mom and almost left her.

 

You know what, in almost two failed marriages, HE was the common denominator. I told him that, too. It was HIS issue. HE was the one who must have had a problem. Maybe it was the women he chose. (still his choice) Maybe it was how he handled conflict (yes, he has a temper).

 

Whatever the issue, it was his choice in how he lived his life and I told him that he needed to get his act together and be a husband and a dad, or live the rest of his life in a string of failed relationships.

 

He got counseling the next day.

 

I could be really bitter against men. I could say that all men are the same and that none of them have any personal fortitude and that most can't can't handle being in a committed relationship based on my own personal experiences.

 

But, what I've found is that most men are alot like most women and most of us are looking to find love and that we can't judge a whole gender of people based on our own experiences. We're each individuals and we each make our own choices. Some turn out. Some don't. that's just life.

 

I really find it sad that there are so many angry people out there who really have no one to blame but themselves for their own bitterness and unhappiness. You know what? Get a grip. Get a hobby. Do SOMETHING so that you don't have to live the entire rest of your life hating an entire gender of people.

 

It may sound cliche, but every day is a new day. When you wake up in the morning, it's your choice how you handle THIS day and it's so much better to realize that no one can make you unhappy but yourself and that only you can change your own personal situation.

Edited October 11, 2012 by CarboniteCammy

[Got it]

I agree, think there is fault in both genders but a sex organ does not predispose one to one characteristic over another.

 

In my case, I think it was pretty mutual. No one is forcing guys to get married. They may not be able to stay in the relationship with that particular lady if she is desiring marriage or moving on but one can stay a confirmed bachelor with great ease. You just can't have everything you may want, you need to pick your priorities.

 

If it financial concerns, getting legal advice before marriage is very important and prenups are well known. I am sorry if someone regrets jumping first without looking at the big picture, or if life changed things for them, but it is what it is. It was a poor business decision one made for their life. Learn from it, brush yourself off and move on.

[xxoo]

So, who initiated your marriage?

 

My H expressed interest in marrying first--a full year before I got on board with the plan.

 

But unlike the guy in the article, even though I was younger still, I had the strength to say "no" when I wasn't ready.