Should I Contact a Guy Who Lives with Another Woman?

[ItsMe]

I'm in this situation and need some advice for what to do next. I met a guy at work, and he's terrific. He's handsome and successful and smart, everything I've always wanted in a guy. The problem is he lives with someone else and has for about 10 years, I think. He didn't tell me about this until after I had known him for more than a week and was pretty involved with him, had lunch, had him over to my place and had sex, then out of the blue he tells me he lives with someone.

 

His girlfriend found out about us after we had been seeing each other for about two weeks and kicked him out. She told him it was her or me. He stayed at my place for a couple of nights, but then he chose her, and she took him back. He told me he didn't want to see me anymore, didn't even want to be friends with me. He no longer works where I do and he hasn't called me in two weeks.

 

The thing is, when I was seeing him, he was so sweet. He called me on his cell phone practically every morning just to say hi. We had lunch together most days, went out for romantic dinners, and he came over to my place just about every other night for two weeks. He did everything to show me how special I was. (So I can't imagine the relationship he's in can be that good, or why was he with me?) Then he just up and left, goodbye and thanks.

 

I haven't tried to get in touch with him, but I still think about him every day and I'm just dying to call him. Do you think it would be OK to contact him, since two weeks has gone by? I'm thinking that he might be missing me but is embarrassed to call, considering how badly he treated me at the end. Despite the way he treated me that one time though, he was always so good to me all the other times. I had started to love him and I'd really like to see him again. I don't know, maybe I just need some closure, which I never felt like I got, no real explanation of why he was going back to her, he just said that was what he was doing and bye.

[rhonda]

I can think of a million reasons to label this guy.

 

You need to get over him because he has decided not to be with you (for whatever reason) and why would you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you?

 

Maybe he really is a sweet guy and decided that what he was doing was wrong so he has re-committed and is being true to his gf. If that is the case you should respect it and move on.

 

If this is not the case, then he most likely is a womanizer that will continue on down the road of cheating, lying, and leaving. You're lucky you're not more involved with him like his gf. You made it without him before, and you will again.

 

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I know its tough.

[HokeyReligions]

Originally posted by ItsMe

He didn't tell me about this until after I had known him for more than a week and was pretty involved with him, had lunch, had him over to my place and had sex, then out of the blue he tells me he lives with someone.

 

 

[color=red]RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG[/color]

 

You had not known him for very long and you are already "pretty involved" in a sexual relationship with him!! Well, I don't think that a relationship really, just sex.

D-U-M-P T-H-E G-U-Y

 

 

He did everything to show me how special I was.

He did everything for sex, for his gratification--not yours.

 

 

[color=darkblue]Do you think it would be OK to contact him, since two weeks has gone by?[/color] [color=red]NO![/color]

 

I'm thinking that he might be missing me but is embarrassed to call, considering how badly he treated me at the end.

I'm thinking he was caught and doesn't care about you at all.

 

Despite the way he treated me that one time though, he was always so good to me all the other times.

You make it sound like you had some long history with this guy! You hadn't known him long or at all.

 

I had started to love him and I'd really like to see him again.

I seriously doubt if it was love. Besides---he is TAKEN. NOT AVAILABLE.

 

I don't know, maybe I just need some closure, which I never felt like I got, no real explanation of why he was going back to her, he just said that was what he was doing and bye.

Closure came the second he told you he was with someone else.

[supermom]

He already told you he didn't want you anymore....anymore contact from you will be YOU interferring with his and his gf's life.

 

 

What did his gf ever do to you?

 

Let her man alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ItsMe]

No, his girlfriend never did anything to me, Supermom, and I didn't get involved with him to hurt her, either. I don't know her, and he never said anything bad about her, he even said he was a rat for doing what he was doing.

 

It just seemed like I got such mixed signals from him, for the relationship to be so intense for almost three weeks, constant e-mails, phone calls in the middle of the night, we saw each other every day at work and he even said he had to work on the weekend so we could have quality time together. He moved in with me for two days when he left her, and we got along so well. And then for him to just walk away and never call me again?

 

Honestly, it seemed like his relationship was doomed, and since he isn't married to her it really didn't seem that wrong. Why would he never have married her in nearly 10 years if he was so in love with her, as he later claimed to be?

 

But so far everyone has said not to contact him, so I guess I should take that advice.

[beautiful]

Well this is an easy one, he wanted sex and he got it! Forget that one. And NO it is not OK for you to call his house knowing he is with someone!

 

You want to find out why you sleep with someone you do not know so fast! I mean ot each it's own however I feel that having sex with a guy you don't even know was abig mistake!

 

He wanted something new in bed and he got it now get over it and learn from it. This is not love , this was pure lust.

 

Take care of yourself and know that if you have sex this fast, you are not relationship material for any men!