dmmm Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 And it is with this mentality that you will become happier and even succeed Taking the smallest of baby sets. This week I finally decided to dedicate myself to it. To at least give it a good go by taking trying new things. So I have started reading some of the PUA books you suggested me a few weeks ago a Also downloaded Carlos Xumua - Ultimate Inner Game. Is that the one you suggest too? I know you said some Carlos Xuma. Problem is that this is his second audio program, I can't get hold of the first. I'm also racking my brains thinking of places to go and actually talk to people! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 The overwhelming pattern is the lack of social clue. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 (edited) Taking the smallest of baby sets. This week I finally decided to dedicate myself to it. To at least give it a good go by taking trying new things. So I have started reading some of the PUA books you suggested me a few weeks ago a Also downloaded Carlos Xumua - Ultimate Inner Game. Is that the one you suggest too? I know you said some Carlos Xuma. Problem is that this is his second audio program, I can't get hold of the first. I'm also racking my brains thinking of places to go and actually talk to people! Try and get as many as you can. I like the Alpha Man Conversation & Persuasion, as well as Secrets of the Alpha Man (both the book and the audio). Power Social Skills is a little advanced. There's also the Approach Women Now program by Xuma, but I don't think that's his best work. There are better ones on approaching women. Get some stuff by Gambler/Richard La Ruina if you can find it. Also, if you're feeling brave, read "The Tao of Badass" by Joshua Pellicer. 2 programs that could also really help you are mostly physical based. They are Love Systems: Beyond Words and "Code of the Natural" by Rob Brinded. You can watch these alongside a good exercise program. As far as meeting people, I would advocate looking online for activities you may like doing that involve other people, maybe doing a course or something, building your social network. If you need help with that, there are programs dedicated to social circle building, One called Social Circle Mastery, another called Social Supremacy Blueprint, the latter I haven't had the pleasure of owning yet but I think I will purchase this one rather than download it. Edited October 14, 2012 by ThaWholigan Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 i have not studied this but i'm guessing it's a purely US phenomenon? at least as far as the western world goes? i think the reason can be a multitude of things, but a few big ones come to mind.... a) there was a change in media culture in the US starting in the 80s. basically the government agency that regulates news reporting stopped regulating it. as a result news reporting quickly deteriorated into fear mongering at the local level, and hate mongering at the national level. local news convinced parents in the US that there was a child murderer or pedophile around every corner to capitalize on fear, and as a result a lot of kids in the 80s and 90s had overly sheltered childhoods. b) internet and video games. at the same time kids weren't out playing with other kids, what they were doing was sitting around in front of a nintendo all day. add to that the fact that as soon as they grew up and moved away from home in their 20s, there was free and abundant internet porn to satisfy them with. c) dysfunctional civic planning. people in the US flocked to the suburbs from the 60s on (mostly due to racism, but that's another story), and look at how suburbs operate. kids grow up there and then leave to go to college. those that don't leave have literally no single people their own age nearby. those that come back or don't leave pair off and marry at young ages to an extent, but the ones that don't marry at 19 or 20 find themselves with no options. moving from the suburbs back to a city is not always an option either, since the 'white flight' to the suburbs decades ago left the US with a pretty big income gap between city people and rural people. a 2 bedroom condo in mississippi might be 75,000 dollars. the same thing in boston or new york city would be anywhere from 8 to 15 TIMES that much, despite being in the same country. you can't move from one place to another just because you want to. so people who were unlucky enough to be born and raised by poor parents in the suburbs can wind up stuck there due to lack of funds. and the suburbs in the US are devoid of any activity that single people might do to meet other single people, for the most part. d) as for women, see the above on 'overy sheltered childhoods'. there's a lot more religious zealotry in the US than other western countries. couple that with overly sheltered childhoods and you have a recipe for perfectly inept social adults. everything in the US has a label, and often a negative one. you'll see young people say "i'm not a bar person" or "i'm not a hipster" or "i'm not a college person" or "i'm not whatever else". american culture is divisive and exploitive. people with no knowledge of any social group can tell you all of the negative things about the ones they DON'T belong to and have never had any experience with, because that's what america is...a bunch of people who grew up in the suburbs and never went anywhere, did anything, or met anyone, and yet are jealous and judgmental of those who have. the only thing america has in abundance is people looking to exploit these ills. dating sites are ready and willing to lift money from lonely people in the US. religion in the rural/suburban US does its best to stamp out all other forms of socialization to keep their stranglehold on that collection plate too, after all the priest's cadillac doesn't pay for itself. then there's the booming self-help industry that teaches people with no dating prospects what they're doing wrong, despite the fact that they still walk away without any prospects after buying the books and therapists and whatever else. slowly but surely younger generations are realizing what is wrong and abandoning the liftestyle of their parents but it won't be undone in a generation. there are 60 years of terrible mistakes to undo. Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Does anyone think that their physical appearance is the reason why they have not had a girlfriend? Are you morbidly obese? Do you have any platonic female friends? Do you have any social hobbies that force you to interact with other men and women? Do you attend a church where you can meet new people? Do you ever walk around outside or go to bars/rock shows? Do you have any siblings or cousins that can introduce you to women? Here's a hot tip for meeting cute girls: Volunteer at a hospital. There are a lot of female nurses that have trouble meeting men. Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I see on this forum that there are guys who never experienced any relationship even though they are much older than me. I am wondering how did they get this way. Was it because they are shy and do not approach women they dont know or is it that they do not put much effort into finding women. Could it also be looks? I want to learn to avoid their mistakes so that I do not wind up in their situation. Have you ever had your hair cut in a salon? It might help to get a woman's opinion on how you can improve your looks if you really think you are ugly. Buy some hair gel. Link to post Share on other sites
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