lets get what really happen out in the open, the husband

[Moose]

Jeez.. Are you sure your his wife, and not his mother? He has to ask permission to go somewhere else, while he's already out?

 

Maybe not ask permission so much as to give her a call and simply state, "Honey, the crew wants to go to, ( Insert name of place ), for a while, don't wait up for me, love ya!! Bye."

 

Again, it's common courtesy.....don't tell me that if your girl went to a goodbye party, that you knew about, and then went out bar hoppin', that you didn't know about, that you would be ok with it.......what if something happened to one of her relatives and you didn't know where she was at to tell her?

 

A simple phone call from the husband could of avoided all of this mess. I really don't think she would be calling to hound him as long as she knew where he was at.....

 

I'm not totally agreeing with the wife here either. She already knows she should've handled things differently, but like I said, if he would of simply called to tell her what he was going to do......that could've been the end of story.

 

jmargel, do you think that the MAN of the house has the right to do whatever he pleases, with total disregard to his wife's feelings? If you do, I feel sorry for your girlfriend. She'll be a nervous wreck wondering if you're ok or not. How about the other way around? I don't think you would like it if your girl felt she could do whatever and go wherever without letting you know.

 

Really, think about it. One stinkin' phone call.

[jmargel]

When did I say I have a right to do whatever I wanted, and the woman doesnt? He TOLD her he didn't know what time he was going to be home, so it really doesn't matter if he went to one bar, or to five of them. As far as the phone thing, he didn't pick up, since he didn't hear it. If he would've heard it, he would've answered it. There are times my phone rings, and I don't hear it as well.

 

Him calling wouldn't have avoided all this mess. This is the FIRST time he went out in two years and he had to put up with this? How could one enjoy themselves when he knows he's coming home to alot of questioning, and arguements?

 

Like I said before it comes down to trust. If she trusts him, let him go out, and trust him to come home when he thinks it's the right time. Same goes for him as well, which from what I understand he seems to be doing.

[jnel921]

thx for understanding brother

[Pained]

I don't think she should have necessarily been invited just because other females showed up. Who cares? Sometimes my coworkers and I hang out, but I don't feel the need to bring my ex, because chances are he wouldn't know all the insider jokes anyway. My ex goes bowling with just women, yet I don't feel compelled to join in just because he's surrounded by girls. I trust him (and besides, the girls are all girlfriends of his male friends) and let him do what he wants. I know that if I put a chokehold on him, he'll run. If I have my own interests and even go so far as to ignore him from time to time, he always comes looking for me. Then HE has to do the chasing, and it feels good to be chased sometimes.

[deesgirl]

Your ex, pained?

 

I just don't think it's a girl's night or a guy's night if you are going with mixed company. My girl's nights do not include male friends. I do things with my male friends with my H included.

[jnel921]

Yep....another party!

 

he calls me yesterday at work. Says one of the female officers is leaving and that they are all going to ta club afterward. This time he asks me if i want to come. I told him I wasnt sure since we will be off this week to disneyworld with the kids and I still have lots to do this weekend. So I told him I'd give him my decision when I got home.

 

I get home and after a while I tell him okay lets go to this. So I am getting ready for this and start curlling my hair and then in the end he decides he has nothing to wear and decides for the both of us that we're not going!

 

Okay...... how am I supposed to feel the next time he wants to go without me and of course he'll make sure he has on the right clothes!!!! There is something wrong with this picture.

 

I read all the replies here. There are alot of mixed feelings, some people think I am trying to be his mom and trust me its far from that.

 

Like one of the posters here said...yes I was hurt and I wanted to be acknowledged. He should have answered his phone and yes it does vibrate so there is no excuse other than to hurt. I really feel he acts selfishly. If he wasnt we would have been at that party last night.

[Pained]

Whoops, good call, I meant my current. Besides, in the original instance, it was just supposed to be a guy's night out. Just because women from his work showed up doesn't make it otherwise. It's still a free country, and it's not like the women can be blocked from coming in.

 

Now, regarding this new situation, I don't know both sides, but at least he asked you. Of course, then he changed his mind. Hmm. Perhaps he's testing what would happen?

 

If you trust your husband, let him go to all the parties he wants to. When he cancelled on you this most recent time, since you were all dolled up anyway, you should have gone out without him. Not necessarily to the original shindig, but just out. And with your own friends and sans husband, since he had nothing to wear anyway (I have NEVER heard a guy give that excuse before).

[koala bear]

I think you asked her and then called to tell her where you were going and then to tell her you were leaveing. That sound to me like you were doing somthing wrong. I'm sure you weren't but why call that much?

That makes you look suspisous. I think thats why she started asking you about things. KB

[jmargel]

Could be that he is still upset about the previous encounter. And what to expect going to a club with other women who are there, that would be talking to you. Would you cause a scene? Will you get so jealous and walk out? Why would he want to possibily subject himself to that and get embrassed? What were your attitudes before you got ready? If you made any sort of comments or remarks, it would make him feel that way.

 

You two do have communication issues. You two should work on that. Either see a counselor or pick up some good relationship books. You two are only seeing things from your own side of the story. That's part of the problem, you two are in a 'defense' mode, so this won't get resolved anytime soon. That's what communication is about.