Tatiana82 Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Okay, I know this is a naive question, but I'm going to ask anyhow. When this guy I like and I talk online, he calls "me cutie", "hey you" etc., and we seem to have really good conversations and get along well. I told him I would call him sometime in the week, his reply was "awesome" so I call....no answer which doesn't worry me much I mean the guy obviously has a life and doesn't sit around the phone 24/7, but with the acception of one time, I always do the IM'ing and phone calls. Is he not interested or maybe should I try and call him again. Last time I tried to call him was two days ago, I don't want to seem like I am trying to hard, but I don't want him to think I'm not interested either. Does giving him a call Friday sound okay? Link to post Share on other sites
suzanne Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Seems like the more eager we seem the more power they get to be a-holes. No man really likes a woman to chase him. You've done what it is you said you'd do.. doesn't he have e-mail or a voice mail so you can let him know you tried and now if he's interested he needs to call you....way too many flakes on the Internet. Weed them out by sticking to some guild-lines you set, not them. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Tech76 Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Please do not rip your hair out. Link to post Share on other sites
foxxyy1313 Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 Tatiana, Suzanne has some really good advice for you. You should really not have to chase a man... especially one that you haven't even actually met yet. He might just be scared to actually talk to you. Its one thing to talk to someone over email or online and in a way it is a safety barrier. Its personal, yet impersonal and you can't really get too close .... at least physically. Anyway, he just might be getting cold feet about actually having a real life conversation with you. Don't take any of this personally. Well, we can sit here all night and wonder what he really is thinking, but the point of my story is that if he is scared, then he is scared. No amount of worrying, obsessing, thinking its you, or pulling your hair out is going to make him call you back or get back on track with how things were before your phone calls. For right now, i'd just wait. If he calls you back, great... if not, then no big loss. You don't want a guy that gets scared of talking to people Keep your head up. And remember, its not worth getting so upset over that you are driving yourself crazy. Find something to keep your mind off of it Link to post Share on other sites
kesto Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Hey, some men do like women to chase them! It takes a lot of the burden off of us, so we don't keep agonizing so much. I say keep calling the guy. At the very least, until he picks up. It's probably not cause he's avoiding you, it's just bad timing. I doubt he'll think of you calling too often as a turn off, especially if you haven't even talked yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tatiana82 Posted July 31, 2004 Author Share Posted July 31, 2004 We actually have talked quite a few times and have met twice. Link to post Share on other sites
ambiegirl Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 I think that you should definayley call him especially if he said awesome when you said you would!i mean its only gunna be the 2nd-3rd time youve called him so its not like you sound despsrate! Link to post Share on other sites
Nemmy Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 Call once, leave message, let him return call. Anything more seems desparate. As a guy I've had to skip a few ringing phones to appear 'busy' thus increasing a woman's interest just by being a bit elusive....and it works! Link to post Share on other sites
seahorse Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 Arrrrrrrgh, I HATE it when men play games. Why can't they just be honest and up front. Dating is hard enough already!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tatiana82 Posted August 8, 2004 Author Share Posted August 8, 2004 I agree Seahorse it can be so frustrating can't it?? We've talked a couple time since I posted this; once online (he emailed) and then about a week later on the phone (I called him) I'm very much just taking it one day at a time and I really appreciate everyones replies, it's been very helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldmund2004 Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 look, the reality is that in the end it's okay if you call him once, maybe twice but if you keep calling he will think you are a freak and avoid you at all costs, including changing the number. i've had that happen a few times with women i met online and they are freaks or super-lonely for a good reason 100% of the time. in the case of an otherwise psychologically healthy person, if the woman chases the man too hard, he will get annoyed and lose interest because he has to feel at least a little bit like has a little competition (another man or another interest) to defeat. if a man calls a woman a few times and she doesn't answer he will lose interest or assume she isn't interested and move on, unless he is a freak. Upshot: a) people who don't give up after a MAXIMUM of 3-4 unanswered calls or emails are freaks and are to be avoided--calling over and over again is a desperate and disturbed person's way of revealing their disturbed desperation. b) declining a phone call or deleting an unanswered email is a normal, but uninterested person's way of saying bug off. c) changing one's phone number or hiring a hitman is an otherwise normal person's way of declaring war on a stalker. Link to post Share on other sites
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