River Rain Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 I did it...I broke NC. How long...nearly 4 weeks I think since he dumped me. But I have a different perspective. I had guilt over something in particular that I said to him out of anger, so I wrote an apology. He replied instantly with his own apologies. Some may say I'm in denial, holding on hope or missing him...but to be honest, it really was just about the apology. I don't want him in my life, in fact, I don't really like the man. I have moved on and am currently getting to know someone else. I just felt like a bad person for that thing I said, it was impulsive and I had tremendous guilt. Anyway, I feel really good today. I won't write him back. I think that breaking nc is okay as long as enough time has past that you can be certain you truly are over the person, and it's for a valid reason. I was writing about this last night, and in that thread I said that I felt good knowing I could close that chapter of my life now without any kind of regret. I think he can now too, so it was a good breaking of nc. Link to post Share on other sites
Coyoteloco Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 after over 1 month or more of no contact im back to day 1 now, shi.ts hard as **** i been crying the whole day and i wish i could push a botton and go fast foward 3 months to a year right now. Todays day 1 and i sincerly just want to die or win the lottery Link to post Share on other sites
a.b Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 I've stopped counting, probably a good sign. Think in a few weeks I will be as over someone as possible. I'm through the worst, especially now I realise I was not even in love with her, just the idea of her and possible future. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 I've stopped counting, probably a good sign. Think in a few weeks I will be as over someone as possible. I'm through the worst, especially now I realise I was not even in love with her, just the idea of her and possible future. I think that was my big realization too. I was in love with being in the relationship and the plans we were making together. Remove that and there really wasn't much feeling left besides the initial rejection and humiliation of being dumped. And yeah, stopping the counting is a very good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Sophie99 Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 Break Up: 9 months ago No contact: 4 months Link to post Share on other sites
a.b Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 I think that was my big realization too. I was in love with being in the relationship and the plans we were making together. Remove that and there really wasn't much feeling left besides the initial rejection and humiliation of being dumped. And yeah, stopping the counting is a very good sign. Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I really liked her and she had a wonderful personality. And in time I have no doubt I could have loved her, but we weren't together long enough. I have learnt she is not very strong minded and now I know about this G.I.G.S thing, she defo did this. I'm just moving on with my life now. Will try to find a person who is ready to make the sort of commitments I am and improve myself as a person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 I don't count everyday but I think about it once in a while how long it's been. Almost 4 weeks, I cracked at 4 weeks before won't be happening this time. I made the mistake a few times before realizing there's no point in making contact, and it does nothing good. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 after over 1 month or more of no contact im back to day 1 now, shi.ts hard as **** i been crying the whole day and i wish i could push a botton and go fast foward 3 months to a year right now. Todays day 1 and i sincerly just want to die or win the lottery My BU was 3.5 months ago and it still hurts a bit. So i'd fast forward to more then 3 months away! Just remember next time you think of breaking NC how you felt when you did last. The longer you're in NC the more it helps. Well i'm in LC not NC but same thing. But then again have daily reminders of her makes it tougher. I can't forget my ex like most people are able to by cutting them out, I have to instead just get over her and feel nothing towards her instead. Link to post Share on other sites
numberone Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 Its been 8 days since I have let go, last time me and my ex met up she admitted she still had a lot of feelings for me, that I was still her number one. She left me for numerous reasons but mainly because it was ME. I was not the best boyfriend. Anyhow she talked herself out of it, which was really hard for her to admit and left me with that. I told her lets just take it slow and I'll show you what I can be, and she told me she couldn't promise me anything. I called her back and realized I made a mistake. I have fought for her, and its up to her to realize that I respect her to let her go, and have her time and space to realize what she wants. Its been 8 days and a real hard long 8 days. I miss her so much, and can only wish something warm comes back this winter. I love the girl and am hoping that if i do good good will return. No other girl that has thrown themselves at me can replace her. I realized now how much she means to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Sasu Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 First time i went NC for 2 weeks coz of her dating others,she broke down in tears and left her new bf,she wants to be single now saying she is not good enough for a relationship and is sorry for hurting me and loves me only,i tried to make her believe shes a good girl and i still would give us another chance ,just don't want to be stucked as an ex or a friend forever and hurt myself but meh,got insulted and deleted again by her ^^ So hate to do this but second time now,her online time went from 5 hrs in eve to hardly 1 hour since then and she gonna visit in my city in few days for shopping so lets see. Link to post Share on other sites
moveONorStay Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) 6 weeks since break up...I was the dumper, but tried to reconcile but was met with resistance and then being ignored when I was trying to be completely civil and nice. Sent final email last night saying I'm done chasing. I don't deserve to be treated that way. Big lesson learned. NC is at 1 day and staying that way now. Edited October 25, 2012 by moveONorStay Link to post Share on other sites
Quest4_TheLost Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 Relationship lasted 8 months.. Kinda sorta if you could even call it that. Seemed like more of a mind **** but whatever.. We would have a tiff go NC and I would always break it and then the vicous cycle would continue. This time its been 2 and a half wks I won't be contacting him this time. I wouldn't ignore him if he contacted me but not expecting it at all.. Just looking to move on from all of it at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
couldhavebeen Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 BU: Dec 5, 2011 Back together last June 2012 for 2 wks NC for a month then Last week of July we're together again NC again for 2 months 1st wk of Oct we got back together... Quit all commu for a week last week He begs for forgiveness last mon... NC again since last Oct 24... I'm so damn tired and hate my heart from all this... brain can't decide either Felt like trash that he can play for he knows all my weakness... Link to post Share on other sites
couldhavebeen Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 BU: Dec 5, 2011 Back together last June 2012 for 2 wks NC for a month then Last week of July we're together again NC again for 2 months 1st wk of Oct we got back together... Quit all commu for a week last week He begs for forgiveness last mon... NC again since last Oct 24... I'm so damn tired and hate my heart from all this... brain can't decide either Felt like trash that he can play for he knows all my weakness... BTW we started the affair last Dec 5, 2009 Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 BU: Dec 5, 2011 Back together last June 2012 for 2 wks NC for a month then Last week of July we're together again NC again for 2 months 1st wk of Oct we got back together... Quit all commu for a week last week He begs for forgiveness last mon... NC again since last Oct 24... I'm so damn tired and hate my heart from all this... brain can't decide either Felt like trash that he can play for he knows all my weakness... You must be tortured...if he knows your weaknesses and plays on them, you're letting him, so you have to somehow build your strengths to compensate so that you won't be continually putting yourself through hell. It's so unstable, you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
a.b Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 6 weeks since break up...I was the dumper, but tried to reconcile but was met with resistance and then being ignored when I was trying to be completely civil and nice. Sent final email last night saying I'm done chasing. I don't deserve to be treated that way. Big lesson learned. NC is at 1 day and staying that way now. You have to remember that you potentially broke that person when you dumped them, they are hurting and maybe do not trust you anymore. They may not have any desire to be civil or nice with you anymore which is their prerogative since you dumped them. This is why when you are thinking of breaking up with someone you should think it through fully before making a rash decision. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 You have to remember that you potentially broke that person when you dumped them, they are hurting and maybe do not trust you anymore. They may not have any desire to be civil or nice with you anymore which is their prerogative since you dumped them. This is why when you are thinking of breaking up with someone you should think it through fully before making a rash decision. Rash decision...you know, my ex who dumped me emailed me yesterday, wants to try again, finally moved out of his ex's house, misses me, I was the best thing that ever happened to him, he didn't use the term "rash decision" but he said it was "impulsive and careless" of him to have dumped me...etc. He said that he's regretted everything and not a day goes by when he doesn't miss me. Of course I don't trust him. I opened a can of worms with him when I sent him the apology, that wasn't my intention at all. I don't want to be with someone who treated me like that and dumped me. And I feel bad that he got the impression that I was reaching out for a reconciliation. I'm going to just say there is no chance and then go nc again. I think at this point the nc is really my gift to him, because I have no emotion left for him either way and I don't want to give him false hope, I want him to move on like I did. Well, there is some feeling, I feel bad that he's hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
couldhavebeen Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 You must be tortured...if he knows your weaknesses and plays on them, you're letting him, so you have to somehow build your strengths to compensate so that you won't be continually putting yourself through hell. It's so unstable, you deserve better. i know i'm aware of his power over me too... But I'm trying to resist him everytime. I'm just waiting for my transfer from work so I could finally have the chance to breath without anticipating him showing up in my doorstep. Link to post Share on other sites
a.b Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 Rash decision...you know, my ex who dumped me emailed me yesterday, wants to try again, finally moved out of his ex's house, misses me, I was the best thing that ever happened to him, he didn't use the term "rash decision" but he said it was "impulsive and careless" of him to have dumped me...etc. He said that he's regretted everything and not a day goes by when he doesn't miss me. Of course I don't trust him. I opened a can of worms with him when I sent him the apology, that wasn't my intention at all. I don't want to be with someone who treated me like that and dumped me. And I feel bad that he got the impression that I was reaching out for a reconciliation. I'm going to just say there is no chance and then go nc again. I think at this point the nc is really my gift to him, because I have no emotion left for him either way and I don't want to give him false hope, I want him to move on like I did. Well, there is some feeling, I feel bad that he's hurting. Yeah that seems like the smart thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 i know i'm aware of his power over me too... But I'm trying to resist him everytime. I'm just waiting for my transfer from work so I could finally have the chance to breath without anticipating him showing up in my doorstep. Good luck and stay strong! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 I have stopped counting the days since I initiated NC. It must be about 3 weeks or maybe a month now. I guess it's a good thing that I have stopped counting -- maybe it shows that I have moved on. I met a guy since then, and while he showed interest the day we met, he did not text me until I texted him, and took him a while to answer me.. and I kinda gave up on him, deleted his number. Oh well. At the beginning it was an ego boost, but since it fizzled out, it kinda got me a bit down. Sigh. Oh well, no choice but to move on.. I am now back to my old routine of being lonely and doing things on my own. I don't even have anyone to hang out with, because all my friends are busy with school (or maybe using it as an excuse to avoid me -- sometimes when I call them, all of a sudden they tell me that they're hanging out with other friends, or that they're out socializing/drinking, etc.). Generally disappointed in people. But I can survive on my own, no problem. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 I have stopped counting the days since I initiated NC. It must be about 3 weeks or maybe a month now. I guess it's a good thing that I have stopped counting -- maybe it shows that I have moved on. I met a guy since then, and while he showed interest the day we met, he did not text me until I texted him, and took him a while to answer me.. and I kinda gave up on him, deleted his number. Oh well. At the beginning it was an ego boost, but since it fizzled out, it kinda got me a bit down. Sigh. Oh well, no choice but to move on.. I am now back to my old routine of being lonely and doing things on my own. I don't even have anyone to hang out with, because all my friends are busy with school (or maybe using it as an excuse to avoid me -- sometimes when I call them, all of a sudden they tell me that they're hanging out with other friends, or that they're out socializing/drinking, etc.). Generally disappointed in people. But I can survive on my own, no problem. That's going to happen though, as you meet new people. It may not always work out...that's the hardest thing about dating, the possible rejection once you get your hopes up. I just went through that too, the guy I was getting to know went silent on me, so I have to choice but to move on. Getting tired of that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach though... And yes, when you stop counting the days, it's a big deal! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
steveblack Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 BU June 28 NC On and off for the four months Broke NC because of family reasons, We met up last week for the first time was awkward. Back to NC since. Good luck everyone Link to post Share on other sites
malou Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 Breakup: 2 months ago. Day: 4 I broke NC on Monday (it had been a month) to write him a long, heartfelt e-mail. There was no blame or anything, more like updating him about my life and telling him what I feel now that this is receding somewhat in the past. I guess I had missed him, and had been saving up things to tell him because I didn't think anyone else would ever understand me the way he did. For the record, he had expressed many times that he would like to hear from me whenever I felt ready. Well, he wrote back yesterday to say sorry for not responding but the world series is on so he's focusing on that, and he'll get back at me soon. When I read that, it was like the voice of god speaking through this jackass, saying, "malou, don't waste another second of your time." I feel like that message accomplished what two months of therapy and meditation have not. I no longer want him back, not in any way at all. I will never break NC again. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 Breakup: 2 months ago. Day: 4 I broke NC on Monday (it had been a month) to write him a long, heartfelt e-mail. There was no blame or anything, more like updating him about my life and telling him what I feel now that this is receding somewhat in the past. I guess I had missed him, and had been saving up things to tell him because I didn't think anyone else would ever understand me the way he did. For the record, he had expressed many times that he would like to hear from me whenever I felt ready. Well, he wrote back yesterday to say sorry for not responding but the world series is on so he's focusing on that, and he'll get back at me soon. When I read that, it was like the voice of god speaking through this jackass, saying, "malou, don't waste another second of your time." I feel like that message accomplished what two months of therapy and meditation have not. I no longer want him back, not in any way at all. I will never break NC again. Wow... what a jackass. adding insult to injury... We all need such wake-up calls! Glad you have had yours and can now move on! Link to post Share on other sites
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