Coffee20 Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I don't know, I have realized that people don't like introverts much. I am introvert by myself and I have felt for all my life that because I am introvert I am bad. I can be open, funny and happy with people, but only people I know well. I am usually kind and loving to others too but I am not very open and people consider me as rude, cold or sometimes someone who is easy to be walk over or too kind. Actually I have no problem with talking to people. And after my bad experience (when I was really very open and it was just used for fun) I am even more introverted than before. Now I am even scared to get more friends or to be closer to people. I think I have to be boring to them. It's weird but I like being introvert, I am just happy with this - I can spend time with myself and I don't have problem to go out by myself but I can also spend time with close friends, I don't want to be extrovert at all. So why all extroverts have so big problem with introverts?? And why extroverts push me to be like them and ask me whether there is something wrong with me? I don't ask them either. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I'm an introvert, and to boot, I'm a loner...so according to society I must be a deviant criminal, lol...I've been called a snob before by neighbours who think I should be best buddies with them. I don't care. I like being alone. That's not to say I don't like having a friend and a romantic interest, it's just I'm comfortable doing things on my own and at home. I think people try to change you because they don't understand why you don't want to be like them, which is very arrogant. They can't imagine being alone and enjoying life that way so they MUST "fix" you. Just be yourself as long as it makes you happy! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Introversion/extroversion are concepts or terms that are often miisunderstood. I'm an introvert but I'm totally outgoing. Not a contradiction. It just means that too much social engagement drains me. Extroverts GAIN energy by being with others. Introverts energy is DRAINED by socializing. So maybe you mean anti-social? Not the same as being an introvert. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coffee20 Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 (edited) no I don't mean anti - social, I like to go out with my fiends, I like to meet new people but I don't drag attention or when I really start to talk I need to listen first and if I am at the party I am the first who leaves, because I get tired and I need time to get close to someone and being anti - social means that you do damage to the society or that you totally avoid people... Edited October 13, 2012 by Coffee20 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coffee20 Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 I'm an introvert, and to boot, I'm a loner...so according to society I must be a deviant criminal, lol...I've been called a snob before by neighbours who think I should be best buddies with them. I don't care. I like being alone. That's not to say I don't like having a friend and a romantic interest, it's just I'm comfortable doing things on my own and at home. I think people try to change you because they don't understand why you don't want to be like them, which is very arrogant. They can't imagine being alone and enjoying life that way so they MUST "fix" you. Just be yourself as long as it makes you happy! that's good to know that there is someone like that too 1 Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I think being comfortable in one's own skin, and with one's own company is a beautiful thing---I love having my alone time. So--- I don't see anything wrong with it. I've gotten flak for it, too, here & there, but usually from people who tend to be hyper-critical anyways. (so I don't put much stock in their opinions) I can be very outgoing & social , too--I love people. I just need that time to recharge my batteries......... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 (edited) I am introverted too. Sometimes I feel as though people see me as someone who was put on earth in order to provide them with entertainment. If I don't want to go out with them, then I am a horrible snob. How dare I have something else I would rather do! People like that are just angry that they can't get what they want out of us. They care so much about being accepted and having lots of friends and social engagements that they don't understand why anyone wouldn't care about that too. They see introverts as people who refuse to conform to the social standard. We're unpredictable, we're difficult to befriend, sometimes we don't even give a damn if they like us. They want everyone to like them. Does she like us? Why doesn't she want to be friends? Why doesn't she care if we like her? Why does she say no when we have been nice and invited her? Does she hate us? Do we smell bad? If I received an invitation it would make me oh so happy. Why doesn't she care? Oh my gosh, so difficult to understand. I guess she's just a bitch then! I don't know why else she wouldn't want to talk to me! That's my theory, anyway. Lol. Thankfully there are outgoing people who aren't like that at all. They are open-minded enough to understand not everyone thinks the same way. I'm still bitter, though, about all the crap I've had to take from people who just want me to be a certain way. Edited October 13, 2012 by SpiralOut 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RachR Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Here's one possibility: I've found a lot of times when people don't like introverts, it tends to be be toward the ones that make them uncomfortable because they don't smile or come off as "rejecting" other people by not engaging in much small talk. I'm introverted myself but I've reacted badly to people who have done this! (Not smiled, won't make eye contact or make small talk when I've tried to engage them). Then I tell myself, wait they're probably like me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coffee20 Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 Here's one possibility: I've found a lot of times when people don't like introverts, it tends to be be toward the ones that make them uncomfortable because they don't smile or come off as "rejecting" other people by not engaging in much small talk. I'm introverted myself but I've reacted badly to people who have done this! (Not smiled, won't make eye contact or make small talk when I've tried to engage them). Then I tell myself, wait they're probably like me. this can be probably the point, but still when I am with the group of people sometimes some of them bring up that I don't talk much but I am kind and they all laugh , but sometimes it makes me irritated inside , maybe I wish somewhere deep inside to be extrovert, I am not really sure , on the other hand I really like my peace Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Here's one possibility: I've found a lot of times when people don't like introverts, it tends to be be toward the ones that make them uncomfortable because they don't smile or come off as "rejecting" other people by not engaging in much small talk. I'm introverted myself but I've reacted badly to people who have done this! (Not smiled, won't make eye contact or make small talk when I've tried to engage them). Then I tell myself, wait they're probably like me. I see that more of someone with a bit of social anxiety rather than introverted...but I guess we have our own nuances with regards to the definition. I'm introverted, but I'm also social when I want to be. I'm not shy at all, it's just my preference to do things on my own. I think being introverted and really shy is a hard thing for a person, and I can see how others would feel uncomfortable around someone like that because they kind of have to carry the conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I see that more of someone with a bit of social anxiety rather than introverted...but I guess we have our own nuances with regards to the definition. I'm introverted, but I'm also social when I want to be. I'm not shy at all, it's just my preference to do things on my own. I think being introverted and really shy is a hard thing for a person, and I can see how others would feel uncomfortable around someone like that because they kind of have to carry the conversation. Me too. I am not really that shy but I just enjoy time on my own because socializing drains me. I often turn down social invites for a of night watching movies with my cat. I am a loner by choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I often prefer to sit down at a cafe and have lunch or coffee on my own while reading a book. I also prefer to go shopping or even to the movies on my own. Occasionally I crave some company and I seek people out then. It's funny because my bother is completely opposite. When he lived on his own, he had friends staying over every night because he couldn't bear to be alone. He says that doing things alone is utterly depressing to him. I live alone now and LOVE it. Every day when I get home, I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I even have nightmares that I am living with someone, my ex or my parents. When I wake up and realize that I in fact live alone, I am filled with happiness. Yes, I am weird 2 Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I often prefer to sit down at a cafe and have lunch or coffee on my own while reading a book. I also prefer to go shopping or even to the movies on my own. Occasionally I crave some company and I seek people out then. It's funny because my bother is completely opposite. When he lived on his own, he had friends staying over every night because he couldn't bear to be alone. He says that doing things alone is utterly depressing to him. I live alone now and LOVE it. Every day when I get home, I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I even have nightmares that I am living with someone, my ex or my parents. When I wake up and realize that I in fact live alone, I am filled with happiness. Yes, I am weird LOL...not weird! I choose to be a loner too, I love my solitude. Although I don't feel comfortable going to a movie alone, I don't know why, I do everything else by myself. Maybe it's a social hangup I still have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coffee20 Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 I often prefer to sit down at a cafe and have lunch or coffee on my own while reading a book. I also prefer to go shopping or even to the movies on my own. Occasionally I crave some company and I seek people out then. It's funny because my bother is completely opposite. When he lived on his own, he had friends staying over every night because he couldn't bear to be alone. He says that doing things alone is utterly depressing to him. I live alone now and LOVE it. Every day when I get home, I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I even have nightmares that I am living with someone, my ex or my parents. When I wake up and realize that I in fact live alone, I am filled with happiness. Yes, I am weird heyyy exactly same for me, today I was watching film with my cat and I really enjoyed it, weird is, that the whole family is opposite to me On the other hand I hang out with my friends like 3 times per week, but we don't party, we sit, drink coffee or tea, talk, go for a movie sometimes and I love it but big social activities drain me too but I sometimes (not too often though) go too, but I have no problem to visit concert or a movie by myself and I enjoy it the same way Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 yep--I'd rather have no company, than bad company...... I place a high value on my peace of mind, so unless time with friends is mutually respectful, and the 'airtime' is balanced...(for the most part,sometimes a friend needs to vent,or I do) I'd prefer to do my own thing. Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 yep--I'd rather have no company, than bad company...... I place a high value on my peace of mind, so unless time with friends is mutually respectful, and the 'airtime' is balanced...(for the most part,sometimes a friend needs to vent,or I do) I'd prefer to do my own thing. I used to cling to friendships because that was the norm in society and I used to care way too much about what others thought of me. But a lot of those friendships did put a lot of stress on me. I've never felt the peace of mind I do now in solitude. I do have a few friendships, but as you say, they do need to be balanced, and if they're not, I tend to shy away from them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NewPerspective93 Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 There's nothing wrong with being an introvert; it makes the world a better place. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 IMO, nothing 'wrong' with being an introvert; however, expect that you're different from extroverts and they will not be shy about telling you about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coffee20 Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 Hello, thank you for your answer. I am not sure how you meant it. I referred more to my past. I have people around me who do accept me and appreciate me now. But I used to go out with people who constantly asked me why I didn't talk more and why I didn't etc.... My post was more about that being an introvert means that many people won't look for you as a funny and open companion or they will make fun from your not open and talkative behavior. It didn't mean that they don't like introverts but they rather spend time with extroverts, which makes surprisingly logic to me. Link to post Share on other sites
beautifulearth83 Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 F it all just do what you want 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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