ringo Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I was reading an old thread about how "God gave man free will"..... ok... this leads me to question something someone told me today.... My husband had a one night stand which resulted in the birth of a little girl about a month ago. This OW is a good family friend and has been for years. She is my sister-in-laws best friend.... anyhow... my sister-in-law wrote an email stating, "God does not make mistakes. HE has known forever that she would be born to you and Robin. HE has known her name, her hair color, her eye color, everything about her. She may not have been planned by either you or Robin, but she was in God’s plan. If he had not meant for you to be her father, then you would not have been the one to get her pregnant." How does this go along with free will and is this saying that God mad my husband cheat on me... created this child.... WHAT? Link to post Share on other sites
LikkleMissConfused Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Ringo, what can I say. I would feel horrified! I can not imagine how you feel. As to you question I DON'T KNOW! Its true though there is a greater force out there like god, but also I remember when I went to hair dressers to have my hair braided, this church going christain lade told me a story which I will shre to you but remember something this little girl is innocent its not her fault ok! Anyway the story. Its something to do with a gospel in the bible a disciple (I don't remember the name) was married and him and his wife couldn't have children. So he had an affair or 1 night stand whatever with the servant. SHe got pregnant and had a boy, immediately after the servant got pregnant so did his wife. Therefore the affair child was born in sin and went on to develop and promote Islam (apparently!!) and the child that was born within the union of marraige went on to promote christianity. (Now I am just telling the story, so don't shoot the messenger!!!) But to soem extent I beleive that children conceived like that and out of the union of marraige are born in sin and throughout there own life will feel some sort of absence or emptyness and most kids born within the union of married are most of the time whole. I'm not saying this goes for everyone but I have many friends who have problems and I think its to do with there childhoood and up bringing and this little girl poor likkle thing isn't the enemy but will suffer beause of you three and your emotions. I don't have any advice for you just thought i'd share the story. I am actually hindu so my beleifs are children in the union of marraige, but if marraige doesn't work then it doesn't but to go and have a child with a alien partner is criminal and its not fair that the women holds the rights of having the child or not, i'm surprised she wants to complicate her life so much in the first place. Do you think your husband will leave you for her? Or maybe she just wanted a child? I pray for you darling. Just be at peace within yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Hi, Ringo You must feel terrible about this... A child as a result of a one night stand can be thye nightmare of any wife. But it could have been worse... what if the girl had an STD? Or Aids? What if your hubby got infected??? Believe me, you have been blessed. I do not know what words to say to comfort you. Just try to make peace with yourself and if possibly with your husband. If you stay together and have children of your own, they'll have a big brother or sister. It's another human being and in the end it can inreach your life in a way you cannot imagine right now... It's hard to see it, but it is a blessing. In your life... Ringo, people make stupid silly mistakes all the time. The way you choose to react separates winners from losers. Don't ruin your life over it. All the love, Curly Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I think God gave us free will to make choices but he chooses the results/consequences. That's why people say What Would Jesus Do? We all have choices and we all have to live w/ the consequences of our actions. God planned for that child to be born- He just had not chosen the parents yet. Obviously if your hubby hadn't cheated he and the OW wouldn't be the parents but he did and God decided the child would be born to them. That's what I think- I won't even pretend to know how the mind of God works- but this is why I think God's plan and free will go hand in hand. I remember your other thread- Has your husband met his daughter yet? Have you decided if you want to meet the OW? Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 wow hon, I'm so sorry. That's horrible. I've always thought it strange when people used God to justify anything and everything. I believe that though God gave us free will, that there are consequences to the actions that we take. You can choose to stay with your hubby, or to leave him. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Therefore the affair child was born in sin and went on to develop and promote Islam (apparently!!) and the child that was born within the union of marraige went on to promote christianity. (Now I am just telling the story, so don't shoot the messenger!!!) But to soem extent I beleive that children conceived like that and out of the union of marraige are born in sin and throughout there own life will feel some sort of absence or emptyness and most kids born within the union of married are most of the time whole. Oh, heavens. BOGUSSSSSSS! Honestly. Besides, you speak of 'developing Islam' as though it's something evil. Ringo. It's like this. You tell your kid not to smoke. You hope he doesn't smoke. But you *know* he's going to smoke. God knows the boneheaded things people are going to do - and He doesn't stop them. Do you honestly think that if He were running things the way you think, he'd let people hurt each other? Of course not, but just as you *know* your son is going to smack your daughter over the head with her Barbie even though you begged him not to, God knows that people are going to do stupid things. And loves us anyway just as you love your kids anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
LikkleMissConfused Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 No moimeme, I'm just saying the story that the hair dresser told me. I'm not making out its evil or anything like that sorry if I offended you. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Tell you what - toss that tale into the trash where it belongs. People don't get 'punished' or live worse lives because of the sins of their parents. That's just not even close to reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ringo Posted July 29, 2004 Author Share Posted July 29, 2004 Ok... I know the woman he cheated with as she is a very close friend of his side of the family. It was a one night stand last October. She had the baby in late June and he did go see the baby a few days and returned home to me and our kids. We are working on our marriage despite all his lies and infidelity.... thats another issue... I guess what I'm getting at is.... God gives us free will to make choices - much like a fork in the road we must chose which direction to go. Do we go God's way.... or do we go Satin's way....??? In this case, my husband took Satin's side of the road obviously.... then comes the baby.... now is that God's punishment or Satin's.??? Yes I believe God knew what choice my H would take and what would happen... I believe he knows everything.... To my husband, this baby is a mistake. Seeing her or hearing about her reminds him of a mistake he doesn't care to remember. He's signed over rights of the baby to the mother. So all that is done and they are out of our lives. But because his family is so close to this girl and they are supporting her.... in a way the two of them will always be in our lives.... I am devastated... I would rather have had a curiable STD than this child. My husband and I both feel so ashamed by our feelings towards this baby as none of this is her fault. But we are military, in different states, we have children of our own on limited income.... there is no way he could be a father to her. Blood doesn't make someone a parent.... sending a check each month doesn't make someone a parent... again, that's another issue... But I feel like both God and Satin had their hands in all this.... only.... I want to understand it all more clearly and I'm frustrated that I can't. I want to say this was all Satin's doing..... but I can't.... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 No. This was your husband's doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ringo Posted July 29, 2004 Author Share Posted July 29, 2004 I know this... clearly.... no questions on that side of things. Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I don't think God would ever use a child as "punishment". You are in such a bad situation- I really feel for you and can understand why you would be ambivelant towards the baby- but would you wish her harm? Would you want her dead if it could be done w/a wish" Now imagine your husband's answers to those same ?'s. If either of you answer yes than I would bet Satan is still happily living in your husbands heart and is trying to reach into yours. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Hey Ringo, We DO have free will. Perhaps God knows what the outcome of any of our decisions will be? That's a tough one. Anyway, I am actually responding to confirm that the above story is a real Bible story of Abraham and Sarah: "Now Sarai, Abram's wife, bore him no children. She had an Egyptian slave-girl whose name was Hagar, and Sarai said to Abram, "You see that the LORD has prevented me from bearing children; go in to my slave-girl; it may be that I shall obtain children by her. "And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her slave-girl, and gave her to her husband Abram as a wife. . . . Hagar bore Abram a son; and Abram named his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael. Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore him Ishmael." Also, it is true that Muslims trace their religion's founding back to Ishmael. Sarah and Abraham went on to have their own son, named Isaac. The Jewish people trace their roots back to Isaac. God promised that a great nation would be made from both sons. No one was "punished." Link to post Share on other sites
LikkleMissConfused Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Thank you HOLDON, I wasn't making it up or refering to anything bad just repeating the story, not as accurate as yours but ok! Right so know I know the exact names Thank you so much for that. moimeme see it wasn't bogus. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Originally posted by HoldOn Also, it is true that Muslims trace their religion's founding back to Ishmael. The founding can be traced back to Abraham, just like Judaism. The reason people often cut it off at Ishmael is to avoid comparing the two. As for God "knowing" what's going to happen, you have to treat the knowledge of God like you would Quantum computing. Your choice is totally yours to make, but God has infinite knowledge--it's not like your choice is going to be surprising to him. You're not going to catch him off gaurd, and he'll say "Oh, well crap, this changes my plans a bit". Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Lol. Wow. Alright, I think maybe I'm over my head on this thread. And I rhyme some of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Sorry, that was a little geeky of me. Computers work with 1's and 0's. Quantum computing suggest that a bit can be both 1 and 0 at the same time. So God understands the results of your decision regardless of what you choose at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I love this song and it explains why I think some people have to suffer "What If She's An Angel" by Tommy Shane Steiner (Brian Wayne) Link to post Share on other sites
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