shelley3 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 What i really need to know is am i doing anything wrong legally?I left my ex bf and took about half of what was in the house leaving him with the bigger half. I left while he was at work I knew he would never let me leave. He always said he would be vindictive if I did leave, he also said he would rather live in a box than pay me child support and he would take my kids. Now he is claiming since for the past year I was a stay at home mom I never contributed financially (which is a lie) so he is filing against me and he wants everything back and nothing was mine. He also says I was abusive, a whore, never cleaned house or cooked (all lies). He wants full custody of my kids and says he will never pay me child support. He is also saying I have been secreting the kids. I did move out and rake the kids, he knows where I told him on day one he has also sent police there saying he is worried about their welfare. I have let him talk to the kids just not c them I am afraid he will take off with them since we don't have custody orders yet. He is being so mean and lying. He also says we were common law and wants a divorce which I don't claim it was a marriage since we weren't actually married. I am worried about my kids. I just want advice. I am terrified of losing my children. I could just use support Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 You need to file a custody order and a child support order with your local court tomorrow. Also see if you can get a copy of the police report to prove he made false allegations against you. Judges hate when people use the police and waste their time. How old are your children? Are you in a safe place? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shelley3 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 My kids are 10 5 and 3 be 10 year old is not his. We are safe and staying at my parents. He is also saying my parents are abusive drinks which is completely untrue my parents do not drink nor are they abusive. I filed with the court they haven't served him yet so still no orders. I am really scared I have been just devastated over this. What's crazy is he never even helped wth the kids whatsoever and now he wants them? He was so controlling of me but no real interest in them. I don't know what to do if he took thwm and seperated my children from their sister. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Don't let him take the children just yet until you have a custody order. Without one you have no rights if he decides to not bring them back. If he's working and you are at your parents then realistically you are in a better position to take care of them rather than them being in daycare while he works. Can you afford a lawyer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shelley3 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 I did hire a lawyer and he doesn't seem conserned at all I try to talk to him and tell him what my ex says he doesn't seem to really care. He just says I'm fine. I don't know but all the things my ex says I worry that its going to go in a direction my lawyer isn't expecting. I don't know if my ex is trying to scare me or what. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Your lawyer knows the law better than anyone. If you do something that is not within your rights he'll let you know. Listen to your lawyer...not your ex. And also before you do anything run it by your lawyer first. Follow his advice and you and the children will be fine. You haven't done anything wrong except remove your children from a bad environment. Good for you for being strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shelley3 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 Thank you. I really hope you are right. It is so hard not to be scared and worried when its your own children. I have never been so worried before in my life. The idea of losing them is eating me up inside. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I know. I've been where you are now. Just believe it will work out for the best because you've done the right thing by leaving. That alone should make you feel better. Unless you positively need to speak to your ex, don't. There is no law stating that you need to answer his calls. He knows his children are safe and that they are fine. The police let him know that. So you really don't need to speak to him everyday. If he wants to speak to the children he can call your parents house, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 There is serious miscongeture that just living together consitutes a "common law" marriage. It does not. In Texas the following criteria must be meet. Texas: A man and woman who want to establish a common-law marriage must sign a form provided by the county clerk. In addition, they must (1) agree to be married, (2) cohabit, and (3) represent to others that they are married. The final part means that you introduced each other to others as "This my husband, this is my wife" Even still this isn't enough as usually you show that you have joint accounts, holdings together. In Texas since you didn't sing a form provided the country clerk? The point is moot. You were not married ~ common law or otherwise. In so far as the children are concerned he's blowing smoke up your skirt. In so long as you maintain actual physical custody of them? Its a pretty clear shot that you will get sole custody of them. In 90% of such case its the mother that get sole cusotdy of the children. I just wouldn't be to quick to let him get off with them alone. In so far as child support ~ he'll either pay it, or he will lose his driver's liscense, fishing, hunting, business, CDL Driver's lisense + go to jail for non-payment + be responsible for any arrears for the rest of his life + have his income tax refunds seized and re-directed to you + any lottery winnings, + any windfall from any lawsuits + lose his professional liscense (teach school, medical liscense, dental liscense, liscense to practice law ~ and any other professions that require him or would require him to have a liscense, (construction contractor, roofing, exterminator, etc) Most employers because of immigration laws and such, Homeland Security law etc run background checks etc. So he would be bared from getting a job even as a order filler with WalMart. About the only way he would be able to get around it would to be to move off and work "under the table" Even still he would have to drive the back roads ~ dirt roads to avoid "soberity and DL#' roadblocks and checkpoints that are thrown up this time of the year. To do that it would severly limit his range of travel. Not to say that it can't be done? But its extermelly nerve racking. All it would take for him to get pulled over? A blown head light, tail light, driving too fast, driving too slow. Someone rear-ending him. etc. When they do? He's going to jail for non-payment of child support. Moving to another state isn't an option either. They arrest them everyday. Here in Alabama they just arrested one from South Carolina who owed $100,000 in back child support. He's basically talking a lot of 'smack' and completely out his azz! He could do it, but it would mean falling off the map, moving back up into the hills, off of the land, working under the table, living a life of poverty and destitution, never having anything. In short he would be living life on the run from the law ~ no matter where he went. It wouldn't be a question of "IF" they caught him? But when! Albiet that could take years, but they will get him. One's obligation for back taxes, fines, crimes, student loans, and child support almost never go away except with the individual dying. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiberius Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Dont worry unless you are a crackwhore you get the children being the mother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shelley3 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Thanks I don't see how we are married either but hearing it broken down really helps. And nope not a crack whore so I guess I'm good Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 (edited) Shelly..number one, relax. You're not going to lose your kids. Child custody laws vary from state to state, but theyThey would be extremely difficult to do and he would have to prove a bunch of game changing unfit parent issues...criminal cases, drug addiction, abandonment, CPS cases..etc. The fact that you took the kids(not against court orders of course) out of fear shows to the court that you did not abandon them. If you would have fled yourself and left your kids with this "monster", it would have looked much worse to the court.The rest..bad cooking, house cleaning, whore, beatings, etc are all quid pro quo (he said, she said) BS that courts don't even listen to or care about unless your violating the law or their orders.The fact that he claims that you were a stay at home mom further bolsters your case as the primary caregiver. Bottom line, based on what you have posted thus far, 1. He has a major uphill, if not impossible battle to prove that your unfit. 2. You are not going to lost your kids, and he will pay you child support. 3. Stop being afraid. You sound like an abused spouse..seek support from a local battered woman's shelter. 4. Be aggressive towards him. Get an attorney and let your attorney do your talking. Have your attorney let him know that your going to take every nickel he has, and that you want child support and spousal support. Put him on the defensive. 5. Don't tell him anything about anything other than the kids. Do not feed him info about your personal life, legal plans, nothing....as he will use it to manipulate your fears. 6. Relax Edited October 16, 2012 by standtall 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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