Marriage training

[strongnrelaxed]

Do you think that there would be fewer divorces if both men and women were made aware of the divorce laws in their state and all the implications?

 

I am working on a petition in my state to put forth a bill that would make sure that a marriage license cannot be issued without acknowledging that both the man and the woman read and understand the entire set of divorce laws.

 

In no other circumstance can I think of a business agreement being entered into without having all the terms and conditions clearly spelled out - except for the most important one of all - marriage. This seems remarkably strange to me.

[CarrieT]

I'm sure a lawyer will find precedence against the bill, but for me, it would not have made a difference; when I got married (almost 30 years ago), I thought it was for forever.

 

It lasted five years and cost me almost $250k.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm sure a lawyer will find precedence against the bill, but for me, it would not have made a difference; when I got married (almost 30 years ago), I thought it was for forever.

 

It lasted five years and cost me almost $250k.

 

Oh, no. That can't be true. Only men get financially (or otherwise) screwed in divorces. I learned that on LoveShack.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

In no other circumstance can I think of a business agreement being entered into without having all the terms and conditions clearly spelled out - except for the most important one of all - marriage. This seems remarkably strange to me.

 

Yet, people enter into business arrangements all the time without being clear about the terms.

 

People are supposed to be accountable for themselves. If a person is not interested in understanding divorce laws before getting married, then it's their problem when they learn the hard way.

 

By the way, knowing "divorce law" isn't going to save that many people from unfavorable outcomes in divorce. Regardless of what state you live in, much has to do with the lawyers and the judge.

[Silly_Girl]

Do you think that there would be fewer divorces if both men and women were made aware of the divorce laws in their state and all the implications?

 

I am working on a petition in my state to put forth a bill that would make sure that a marriage license cannot be issued without acknowledging that both the man and the woman read and understand the entire set of divorce laws.

 

In no other circumstance can I think of a business agreement being entered into without having all the terms and conditions clearly spelled out - except for the most important one of all - marriage. This seems remarkably strange to me.

 

I'd prefer that couples wanting children were given eye-opening facts and stats re post-divorce co-parenting and forced to listen to the experiences of kids trapped in the middle when their parents split. Way more important than ego ends up with what in a split of assets.

[VodkaShots]

Do you think that there would be fewer divorces if both men and women were made aware of the divorce laws in their state and all the implications?

 

I am working on a petition in my state to put forth a bill that would make sure that a marriage license cannot be issued without acknowledging that both the man and the woman read and understand the entire set of divorce laws.

 

In no other circumstance can I think of a business agreement being entered into without having all the terms and conditions clearly spelled out - except for the most important one of all - marriage. This seems remarkably strange to me.

 

No, I think our menfolk should be kept willfully ignorant when they are forced and pressured into marrying us, so we can divorce them for all their money and keep their kids away from them.

[strongnrelaxed]

No, I think our menfolk should be kept willfully ignorant when they are forced and pressured into marrying us, so we can divorce them for all their money and keep their kids away from them.

 

Really? I guess with a username like yours, I shouldn't expect much more than this.

 

Thanks though! Others are reading this too.

[2sure]

I don't know how many signatures you've gotten but stop. There isn't a senator in any state that would put his name to something like that.

 

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that will ever interfere with our legal obligation to litigate.

[carhill]

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that will ever interfere with our legal obligation to litigate

 

I like.

 

OP, it's called PMC and a prenup. I like your sentiments but adults are legally able to freely contract, and that includes marriage. You can't legislate against ignorance or worse, without a whole lot of pushback, or identifying some sort of protected class of citizens in the process.

[strongnrelaxed]

I like.

 

OP, it's called PMC and a prenup. I like your sentiments but adults are legally able to freely contract, and that includes marriage. You can't legislate against ignorance or worse, without a whole lot of pushback, or identifying some sort of protected class of citizens in the process.

 

I hear you. I am just sitting on the receiving end of a lot of legal pain that was not discolsed to me, nor easy to find, or freaking in existence, when I got married. The government changes these rules without our consent all the time.

 

I used to just "suck it up" but it is going way too far.

 

As an aside, I just got a ticket for an expired inspection sticker. But the month hadn't yet ended and I had two weeks. I found out that they are now ticketing based on a specific DAY of the month. For 30 years it was one rule and then BANG, new revenue source.

 

So I got it fixed and all is well.

 

But when they change up divorce laws like this, the government is not in my most precious and intimate relationship dictating the terms and conditions. This is not ignorance, nor it is a lack of preparation. It is bait and switch. Period.

 

It is just legal because the government does it. That does not make it right though.

 

This is so deeply disturbing to me that I am here spending my valuable time trying to make sure as many people hear about this as possible so that maybe one young man will stop and think and resist that pressure to get married and invite this sickness into his life.

[Got it]

strong,

 

Given your circumstances, with a change happening "mid stream" there is only so much that prior education can do and it doesn't sound like it would have helped at all in your case.

 

I am completely on board with the idea of education and training. I believe that knowledge is power and everyone should know the legalese. Marry is much more than just the love partnership and there are real financial commitments tied to it. I also think it is hard for people to extrapolate who they are going to be in the future, what their potential spouse will be like, etc and go in with a naive good intentions.

 

I do think counseling is a great idea for all couples and really help to get things started on the right foot. It seems to me that too many people think things "start" when the walk down the aisle is made but most of the foundation, the patterns of the couple, how they are tackling different issues, concerns, and challenges, has already been laid out well into the dating process.

 

I think marriage can be successful, I think it can be rewarding and positive for both sexes, I just think that we need to invest more time and energy into the development of the partnership, the health of the partnership, our personal identity, boundaries, and best interest and work towards a happy medium or a parting of ways.

 

Personally, I also like the idea of an expiration date and a renewal process. I think the biggest challenge in marriage is complacency and both partners should take an active interest and energies into investing in it every day.

[strongnrelaxed]

I just find it odd that we require a relatively rigorous amount of training and educatoin to get a drivers license. Remember the 5 hour course? The road test, the written test, the eye exam, the photos?

 

Geez man! For a marriage there is ZERO. Zilch. And this decision will impact little babies lives as well and all the people around them.

 

It just seems like such a large decision to have almost no requirements. No tests, no eye exams (which in some cases, might be all that is needed!)

 

This seems odd to me.

 

I also believe in parenting classes. The world would be a much better place it seems.

 

I know I will be painted as a woman hater for this, but it is the opposite. This benefits everyone.

[Axee]

Marriage is supposed to be forever. It is an emotional decision and not a legal contract. Divorce happens when both parties are totally unable to work it out.

 

The legal issues are therefore present AFTER the divorce, because Divorce is considered an exception and not a norm.

 

Unfortunately,nowadays, both the lady and the man feel , at the slightest problems "So what I will get a divorce" and thats why these issues have arisen.

If there was a legal training at the beginning then there is no difference between a job offer and a marriage. I would say even prostitution would get similar, give money , get it done, same way sign a contract and live together.

 

Thats why, its your individual duty to be aware of what you are getting into ..like someone above has said.

[strongnrelaxed]

When one signs a contract, and the terms and conditions are not clear up front, then that is a contract that should not be signed. The terms of a good contract will spell out exactly what is accepted and not accepted in the conduct of the business or legal relationship. This is Business Law 101.

 

In a marriage, there is most certainly a contract. The terms and conditions are definitely not clear because the law is changing behind our backs all the time. This makes it a bad contract.

 

When the cell phone and credit card companies unilaterally change the terms and conditions of their agreements, we get justifiably pissed.

 

Why is it not the same with marriage?

[BetheButterfly]

Do you think that there would be fewer divorces if both men and women were made aware of the divorce laws in their state and all the implications?

 

I don't know, but I think that's a great question.

 

I am working on a petition in my state to put forth a bill that would make sure that a marriage license cannot be issued without acknowledging that both the man and the woman read and understand the entire set of divorce laws.

 

In no other circumstance can I think of a business agreement being entered into without having all the terms and conditions clearly spelled out - except for the most important one of all - marriage. This seems remarkably strange to me.

Marriage is not really a business agreement. It's in most cases a foundation of the family unit.

 

Personally, I don't understand the need for marriage to even be a legal matter.

 

Even though my husband and I dutifully got our marriage license, our promises to each other are not the government's concern. They don't care if we are faithful to each other and keep our word to each other. As long as we are faithful in obeying the law and in paying our taxes, that's really all that concerns them.

 

So, I personally would have no problem with the government simply no longer selling marriage certificates and performing marriage ceremonies.

 

As a Christian, what is important to me is the promises I made before God and before witnesses, including our pastor, to love and be faithful to my husband "till death do us part." I pray that both he and I will always honor our word and that our relationship grows stronger each year, like a tree growing taller and bigger.

 

I don't need the government to sell me a marriage license. What I need to make my marriage work is to love (love is a verb) my husband and for him to love me.

 

True love, faithfulness, trust, healthy communication, fair compromise, mutual respect, humor, enjoying the little things, a positive attitude, humor, fun, and romance are what helps make a marriage strong.

 

Although I agree with you that since the government for some reason has a say in marriage, it would be good for a law to be made that the couple understand divorce laws, I personally believe marriage is not a legal matter, nor a business deal. Marriage is a team, the foundation for building and growing a family or simply an agreement to enjoy life together as "one."

[Daniel V. Ross]

It is one main reason why you should think it deeply before getting married since it is a lifetime commitment.