5 years and I am stupid

[geegirl]

the other thing is honestly i woudl have expected he shaft all of the house stuff and just be with her and forget me. Thats why i feel like he is having the option there, having me on ice is just in case things dont work out with her

 

what do you think

 

Why would he shaft you when he gets benefits from you. Of course he is keeping you as an option. You have always been an option to him, readily available when he needed it so why would you believe he would give it up.

 

Guys who cannot commit, most times will have fallbacks lined up so that they can have their needs taken care of when they require it.

 

Besides, it's been easy for him. With little to no effort, he gets what he wants i.e sex, companionship, ego stroke, attention. You require zero effort. It's a great deal for him!

 

Whether this new woman is a lie or not, his motives are unhealthy and toxic for you.

[Leigh 87]

The sad thing is, if he were to say " hey, Mishy, I have changed my mind; I really do love you and want to be with you"

 

 

She would be with him in a heartbeat, EVEN though he has treated her like s.hit

 

 

I want her to leave him for good, but with the mentality that "even if he changedh is mind about me, he is not a good person, and the 5 years he was not into me is enough of a deal breaker"

 

 

I want the OP to be strong enough to reject him even if he did change his mind

 

She is far too forgiving and I want her to try to think of thisn like that: even if he DID want me, he is not worthy because he treated me badly.

[lnn7]

Just wanted to say I read your thread and sorry for what you have to go through. I once heard someone casually and jokingly say love is like a poker game. As I thought more about it I find it actually quite clever. I think in your situation you show your hands too much and he took advantage of his position. I think not many guy will refuse a girl who's willing to sleep with him without having to worry about a commitment of a relationship. Again, my regret for what you have to go through but I think like everyone else is saying already there's nothing for you to do here but move on. Find someone who's willing to equally commit and love you. It really is all about balance.

[geegirl]

The sad thing is, if he were to say " hey, Mishy, I have changed my mind; I really do love you and want to be with you"

 

 

She would be with him in a heartbeat, EVEN though he has treated her like s.hit

 

 

I want her to leave him for good, but with the mentality that "even if he changedh is mind about me, he is not a good person, and the 5 years he was not into me is enough of a deal breaker"

 

 

I want the OP to be strong enough to reject him even if he did change his mind

 

She is far too forgiving and I want her to try to think of thisn like that: even if he DID want me, he is not worthy because he treated me badly.

 

I do too and as much as we can see from the outside as to the reality of what a POS he is, it's hard when those rose tinted glasses stay on for those stuck in a bad situation like Mishy.

 

Sometimes it's a matter of getting sick and tired of being sick and tired, which is sad because you've just lost years of your life sticking out hoping and hoping that maybe this one time, things are going to be different. Then you wake up one day, realizing that you just can't take it anymore. When that times comes, you're already at a point, feeling severly damaged and broken. Doesn't have to be that way.

 

"Past behavior is a predictor of future behavior" -- after five years of the same patterns, this has to be enough for you, Mishy. Please don't run yourself ragged waiting to be sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Edited October 16, 2012 by geegirl

[mishy]

... Without knowing you at all, I have come to care about the outcome of all this...

 

 

 

So.... I want to ask some basic questions:

 

-do you go to the gym or run or do cardio most days? Is fitness something you like the idea of, if you do not already engage in it regularly?

 

- Do you know any languages besides English? Are you interested in learning one if you have not already?

 

 

 

Fitness and learning another languas are on my to do list, and I know a break up with be the perfect thing to get me started!!!

 

....You can throw yourself into picking one new hobby, is this something you think could help you?

 

Or you could already be too busy as it is. I don't know you, hence why I am asking.

 

If you do not have ay new hobbies and there is even one thing you have been meaning to try, or that you like the idea of - DO IT! if you have time.

 

Make the hobby your "release" from him, the thing you do to help take your mind off this guy.

 

 

thanks for caring about my wellbeing:)

 

actually my "hobby" has become my fulltime job and business , I sell my artwork around the world to many countries, and because its a creative field and its enjoyable the feeling of "needing a hobby outside of that, doesnt really capture me, if you know what i mean. I think a lot of artists feel that way. Like i have plenty of interests, gardening etc, which is a real escape, i have a fairly big one which takes a lot of work.

 

Probably i should do more exercise.

[mishy]

Ok ok, we believe that you WANT to forget about him.

 

But after ALL your threads, can you blame us for... not necessarily believing your "really" strong enough to finally walk away?

 

It was seriously depressing reading all your posts: " he is a dirt bag, he has sex and just leaves every time, I feel like a hooker, I am SO done with him this time"

 

...Again and again, telling everyone your "done" this time:(

 

I was sooo going to post what the last poster said! About "what if your best friend or sister had the same thing happening to them with a guy?"

 

I read through a few of your other threads, and also like the last poster: I am WORRIED about you, without even knowing you!

 

.....It is just a little sickening that you hold your heart out for some guy who does not care about you at all. You " leave him" , then crawl back , even though he does not care less wheather your out of his life, and come running back after he treats you like your nor even worthy of his friendship.

 

You leave, he does not care, then you come back.. even though he does not even care that you left!

 

..Look, maybe he is keeping you at arms length because he knows he has no romantic feelings towards you and never will, therefore being "friends" will just make you fall in love with him even more...

 

From your posst though, it sounds like he does not even like you as a person.......

 

 

 

 

 

PLEASE just have the strength to move on once and for all here......

 

There are guys out there who WILL FIGHT to have you! Who will not let you go if one of you has to move or relocate; someone who will stick by you if you fall ill; someone who wants to spend their life with you.

 

 

 

Aren't you EXCITED?! About the fact that: there are guys out there who are goot matches for you, and who will actually WANT and make an EFFORT to be with you.

 

Just think how good it could feel! To have a man who goes out of his way to see you.

 

 

Leigh I have been reading my old threads too, and i know, its disgusting. How i allowed that to go on beyond the first month , i dont know. It was a bad time in my life. I met him a few months after my mother died, and only a year after my father died. So i was already in a very bad place of shock and grief. I am pretty sure i was just after affection and love and attention. At the time there were a few other guys interested in me, and some that tried pretty hard, but i wasn't attracted to them. This guy was the sort, that when i first saw him my chest went *boom*

 

There is no going back, and the thing is that i think he is lying about this girl anyway, which makes him even more repulsive and scary to me. Really i dont even know who he is.

 

About a month ago i really realised what sort of guy i want. I have this acquaintance who is actually married (and OFCOURSE id never go there) but his personality, his humour, the interaction we have, he is like a bright light compared to this guy here. And i thought you know, he is all the things that I would be looking for, I should be looking for someone like him.

 

As far as excitement about meeting other men, I am not at that stage right now, maybe next week, when i am feeling less tired and physically ok. But i know what you mean. If i meet anyone, i certainly would be playing things completely differently to this. I would never do this again.

 

 

Back on the previous page i posted about how i think this new girl is all another elaborate lie, similar to one he made a few years ago. Did you see where i wrote that Leigh?

 

I find that frightening that someone can lie that easily

Edited October 16, 2012 by mishy

[mishy]

For me, all of my drama happened almost 2 years ago, and I just wanted you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I got no answers, no closure, no explanation, no nothing. And that hurt for a long time. I was angry for a longer time. I wanted to physically hurt him I was so mad at being treated badly and then dumped after 3 years.

 

But I got over it, got over him, and could no longer care less about him or the other woman. You will get to that place too. Take time to go through all the stages of grief, be kind and gentle to yourself, and leave him right where he belongs, in your past.

 

I am trying to look after my physical health right now, eating well, because i know that will make me feel back to normal sooner.

 

I think he is lying about the other woman because he has done it before to get space, but even if she is real, i am lucky because i know absolutely nothing about her and would like to keep it that way. Information is a killer!

 

I don't want to know anything, it just makes it easier. I am not going to see him again, for house stuff or anything, because i don't even want to look at him, or risk the possibility of him talking about her.

 

But again, i think he is lying about her existence anyway (see a couple of pages back)

[mishy]

The sad thing is, if he were to say " hey, Mishy, I have changed my mind; I really do love you and want to be with you"

 

 

She would be with him in a heartbeat, EVEN though he has treated her like s.hit

 

 

I want her to leave him for good, but with the mentality that "even if he changedh is mind about me, he is not a good person, and the 5 years he was not into me is enough of a deal breaker"

 

 

I want the OP to be strong enough to reject him even if he did change his mind

 

She is far too forgiving and I want her to try to think of thisn like that: even if he DID want me, he is not worthy because he treated me badly.

 

 

I can't trust him. Because of some lies he made back in 2008 - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/147628-he-liar , when he tells me things, i am never quite sure if it is the truth. How could i have a proper relationship with someone like that?

 

Anyway, he is never going to turn around and change his mind and profess love for me. If he cared about me he wouldn't have done all the things he has.

 

So to even start thinking about *what i would do* well, it doesnt matter because it would seriously never happen. And i am not saying that because i think "oh yes i would be with him in a flash". I seriously know it would never happen., so it doesnt warrant thinking about.

 

What i think will happen is, in a few days or weeks or months, he will text me about doing the house stuff. I won't reply. He will text again a week later (maybe). I won't reply. Then he will just go "oh she hasn't replied" .

 

Does nothing about it.

 

THE END.

[mishy]

Feeling much much better, but i just can't get my head around the fact that the new girl could be a lie.

 

He did the same thing to me before, and I caught him out.

 

Is it possible that he really is lying about a girl again?

Because if that is the case, he is a truly evil person.

 

Considering the past http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/147628-he-liar, is it in my head?, or is it possible he really HAS lied again?

[Leigh 87]

thanks for caring about my wellbeing:)

 

actually my "hobby" has become my fulltime job and business , I sell my artwork around the world to many countries, and because its a creative field and its enjoyable the feeling of "needing a hobby outside of that, doesnt really capture me, if you know what i mean. I think a lot of artists feel that way. Like i have plenty of interests, gardening etc, which is a real escape, i have a fairly big one which takes a lot of work.

 

Probably i should do more exercise.

 

 

 

WHAT?>

 

 

Man. You are TALENTED, have A GREAT job your passionate about... so WHY do you act like your some second rate girl who has to hold on to men who DO NOT LIKE HER?

 

I have no job atm, ***ed up my life thus far and am only just getting on my feet, am not particularly good looking.....

 

Yet I can find men who treat me well...without the great job, or any good looks.

 

You have a lot going for you! You sound sweet, sensative, and have a great job that says a lot about you!

 

Sheesh. What a waste:(

 

Wake up to yourself.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh I have been reading my old threads too, and i know, its disgusting. How i allowed that to go on beyond the first month , i dont know. It was a bad time in my life. I met him a few months after my mother died, and only a year after my father died. So i was already in a very bad place of shock and grief. I am pretty sure i was just after affection and love and attention. At the time there were a few other guys interested in me, and some that tried pretty hard, but i wasn't attracted to them. This guy was the sort, that when i first saw him my chest went *boom*

 

There is no going back, and the thing is that i think he is lying about this girl anyway, which makes him even more repulsive and scary to me. Really i dont even know who he is.

 

About a month ago i really realised what sort of guy i want. I have this acquaintance who is actually married (and OFCOURSE id never go there) but his personality, his humour, the interaction we have, he is like a bright light compared to this guy here. And i thought you know, he is all the things that I would be looking for, I should be looking for someone like him.

 

As far as excitement about meeting other men, I am not at that stage right now, maybe next week, when i am feeling less tired and physically ok. But i know what you mean. If i meet anyone, i certainly would be playing things completely differently to this. I would never do this again.

 

 

Back on the previous page i posted about how i think this new girl is all another elaborate lie, similar to one he made a few years ago. Did you see where i wrote that Leigh?

 

I find that frightening that someone can lie that easily

 

 

 

 

You have to STOP caring about wheather or not he HAS a girl.

 

Do not come on here and ask about her or about the fact he is lying/

 

This is sick and you must stop. Come on here, however, send me a private message about how your coping if you like, but do not ever mention the other girl situation.

 

You are BETTER than caring about the other girl bullsh*t. You KNOW he does not deserve a second of your time, so worrying about his lie is... caring about him enough to worry!

 

DO what you have to do NOW please.

 

For what it is worth, yes, I find this man to be hideous. The fact he can do this to you shows he has LITTLE to ZERO empathy for people.

 

I would not want to be a girl he wants to date; would you want to date a guy, who treated others like sh8t?

 

EVEN with a girl he is into, which is not you, she will be dating a guy who is heartless.

[mishy]

WHAT?>

 

 

Man. You are TALENTED, have A GREAT job your passionate about... so WHY do you act like your some second rate girl who has to hold on to men who DO NOT LIKE HER?

 

I have no job atm, ***ed up my life thus far and am only just getting on my feet, am not particularly good looking.....

 

Yet I can find men who treat me well...without the great job, or any good looks.

 

You have a lot going for you! You sound sweet, sensative, and have a great job that says a lot about you!

 

Sheesh. What a waste:(

 

Wake up to yourself.

 

 

I don't know why!! lack of confidence with men?

 

BTW you look very good looking to me! Why are you saying you arent particularly good looking ?? You are!!

[mishy]

You have to STOP caring about wheather or not he HAS a girl.

 

Do not come on here and ask about her or about the fact he is lying/

 

This is sick and you must stop. Come on here, however, send me a private message about how your coping if you like, but do not ever mention the other girl situation.

 

You are BETTER than caring about the other girl bullsh*t. You KNOW he does not deserve a second of your time, so worrying about his lie is... caring about him enough to worry!

 

DO what you have to do NOW please.

 

For what it is worth, yes, I find this man to be hideous. The fact he can do this to you shows he has LITTLE to ZERO empathy for people.

 

I would not want to be a girl he wants to date; would you want to date a guy, who treated others like sh8t?

 

EVEN with a girl he is into, which is not you, she will be dating a guy who is heartless.

 

 

I PMd you

 

 

Yes the way he treated me will be the same for every other girl, its his core personality.

 

There isn't any going back for me, just realising he was lying about a girl again, is just a way of me putting the final bits of teh puzzle together and away for good.

[Leigh 87]

I didn't receive your pm:(

 

And I just emptied my inbox yesterday so there is plenty of room for it.

 

And it sounds like you are done with him but based on your track record, I no one on here will believe you until you prove it first.

 

I so hope you can show us your serious.

 

I feel bad for you, to be missing out on dating nice guys.

 

What is so appealing about this guy? I cannot fathom being into a guy who treated me like such sh*t!

 

I am guessing chemistry? The feeling you get based on his attraction, and just the way he does things?

 

It must be confusing; to be so drawn in to a guy who you logically dislike as a person.

[Leigh 87]

And thanks about my picture lol.... I look good to some and not others, just like most average looking gals.

 

I actually do not think my boyfriend thinks I am that good looking. He has said I am a few times, but he seldom mentions my looks. I have a too long and crooked nose with a terrible profile. He even agrees, but never tells me I am ugly because of it (just that he agrees with a straight and smaller nose I would be 10/10 lol)..Although he then says " but your 10/10 to ME Leigh, haha.. meaning objectively, I would be 10/10 with a nose job, but to him I am always 10/10 haha.

 

He is honest without letting me feel like I am second best because I am not the best looking girl out there.

 

It is my body that got attention before when I was fit and thin. .... I am just starting my fitness as of yesterday lol, I wont let it go this time....!!

Edited October 17, 2012 by Leigh 87

[mishy]

I didn't receive your pm:(

 

And I just emptied my inbox yesterday so there is plenty of room for it.

 

And it sounds like you are done with him but based on your track record, I no one on here will believe you until you prove it first.

 

I so hope you can show us your serious.

 

I feel bad for you, to be missing out on dating nice guys.

 

What is so appealing about this guy? I cannot fathom being into a guy who treated me like such sh*t!

 

I am guessing chemistry? The feeling you get based on his attraction, and just the way he does things?

 

It must be confusing; to be so drawn in to a guy who you logically dislike as a person.

 

 

No i am serious. i know its going to take a while to prove it.

 

the initial attraction was chemistry. It was all sexual attraction, and yeah, just him, and the way he was. It is / was confusing, because on the inside he is cold and heartless.

[mishy]

And thanks about my picture lol.... I look good to some and not others, just like most average looking gals.

 

I actually do not think my boyfriend thinks I am that good looking. He has said I am a few times, but he seldom mentions my looks. I have a too long and crooked nose with a terrible profile. He even agrees, but never tells me I am ugly because of it (just that he agrees with a straight and smaller nose I would be 10/10 lol)..Although he then says " but your 10/10 to ME Leigh, haha.. meaning objectively, I would be 10/10 with a nose job, but to him I am always 10/10 haha.

 

He is honest without letting me feel like I am second best because I am not the best looking girl out there.

 

It is my body that got attention before when I was fit and thin. .... I am just starting my fitness as of yesterday lol, I wont let it go this time....!!

 

No you are beautiful, don't ever think otherwise. And as far as "the best loking girl out there" goes, what does that even mean, why are we subjected to these "levels" of socially constructed beauty. You look like a gorgeous healthy blonde.

[shayla]

When I came to Loveshack, I obsessed over my ex and his lies. How he lied to me and treated me badly for 3 years only to be preparing to marry another woman behind my back.

 

I posted thread after thread about it....it was all I could think about, and I'm sure it made other people want to puke. But you know what? I needed to do that to get it all out of my system.

 

This forum is open for everyone. Don't let other people tell you what to talk about or not talk about. You talk about what you need to in order to get through it.

 

Don't let the people here or anyone else judge you for the way you are dealing with your grief. Ignore the put downs and the passive aggressive remarks and do what you need to do to heal. For those that don't like it, they can choose to overlook the thread. Just as I'm going to do if you post 50 threads about your ex LOL (but you still have the right to vent, post, do what you need to do)

 

Good luck to you.

[mishy]

When I came to Loveshack, I obsessed over my ex and his lies. How he lied to me and treated me badly for 3 years only to be preparing to marry another woman behind my back.

 

I posted thread after thread about it....it was all I could think about, and I'm sure it made other people want to puke. But you know what? I needed to do that to get it all out of my system.

 

This forum is open for everyone. Don't let other people tell you what to talk about or not talk about. You talk about what you need to in order to get through it.

 

Don't let the people here or anyone else judge you for the way you are dealing with your grief. Ignore the put downs and the passive aggressive remarks and do what you need to do to heal. For those that don't like it, they can choose to overlook the thread. Just as I'm going to do if you post 50 threads about your ex LOL (but you still have the right to vent, post, do what you need to do)

 

Good luck to you.

 

 

 

Thanks. Its just my way of processing it. He lied before about a girl before 4 yrs ago, and i found out by complete chance. It was a massive massive lie, because all that time, FOUR WEEKS, when he was supposedly away in another city doing a job, we had been talking on the phone. He went into great detail about the whole trip and the job, and then one day he told me he had met someone.

 

So then by chance THE SAME DAY I found out it was all a lie, and that he had been here the whole time, just having a holiday at home, and looking for work. There was no girl. He'd lied SO convincingly on the phone for a whole four weeks. the detail was incredible. I mean WHO does that????

 

So the other day when he tells me he has met someone, completely out of the blue, eventually a couple of days later it clicked in and i knew in my gut it was a lie too. The conversation we had both times was just too similar.

 

I don't even know who he is. All of this just makes him repulsive to me, and that is how i am moving on from him.

 

Thats why i write about it!! Its believing and processing that this is who this man really is!

 

 

And even if it isnt a lie, the fact is, i can never know, because he has lied before! Total mind$#!!

Edited October 17, 2012 by mishy

[geegirl]

I can sense you're repeating in your posts that this woman is a lie because you're afraid to face the possibility of it possibly being the truth. If you say it often enough, you'll believe it's a lie. I completely understand that train of thought. In a sense it helps to minimize the hurt.

 

It's perfectly fine to put it all out here but at some point you have to get in touch with reality. Putting aside this "woman", in 5 years, do you believe he was faithful to you alone? While this woman may not exist, do you truly believe there weren't others?

[Leigh 87]

Shayla - sorry, I did not mean to tell Mishy to just "shut up and go away".

 

I Just meant that, while she SHOULD seek support on here, that she NEEDS to STOP caring about the outcome!!

 

She should stop trying to find out about this alleged "other women". Who cares if it is a lie or not, you know?

 

The outcome should be the same regardless of if there is another women or not.

 

There would have been other women thoughout FIVE years anyway

 

And even the lucky women who is "the one" for him, who he feels compelled to REALLY like, is NOT LUCKY; who would want a guy who is a cold, heartless jerk!?!?!? Not thanks!

 

So as you can see, there is really NO reason to try to find ANYTHING more out about this jerk.

 

All she needs to know is that he is no good, and to never talk to him again. THAT is all she needs to do

 

That and coming on here to get support for her recovery process, by all means, but just no more trying to obtain info about a person who is not worth any more consideration..

 

Unless he is a serial killer you find out about, in which case RUN and change your address... DON'T concern yourself with him. In any way, shape or form.

[mishy]

I can sense you're repeating in your posts that this woman is a lie because you're afraid to face the possibility of it possibly being the truth. If you say it often enough, you'll believe it's a lie. I completely understand that train of thought. In a sense it helps to minimize the hurt.

 

It's perfectly fine to put it all out here but at some point you have to get in touch with reality. Putting aside this "woman", in 5 years, do you believe he was faithful to you alone? While this woman may not exist, do you truly believe there weren't others?

 

 

Oh yes i am fully aware that i may be in denial and it could be a coping mechanism. But the fact is, that i don't know. He did lie about that trip and girl, and he has lied about other smaller things. So its not much of a stretch to say that this girl is a lie too.

 

The point is he has lied before and it was a fairly big one, , and that means that i can't believe anything he says. It wouldn't matter what he was telling me, I would never know if its the truth. And thats more important than if he has a girl or not. - the fact that i can't trust his word.

[Leigh 87]

I can sense you're repeating in your posts that this woman is a lie because you're afraid to face the possibility of it possibly being the truth. If you say it often enough, you'll believe it's a lie. I completely understand that train of thought. In a sense it helps to minimize the hurt.

 

It's perfectly fine to put it all out here but at some point you have to get in touch with reality. Putting aside this "woman", in 5 years, do you believe he was faithful to you alone? While this woman may not exist, do you truly believe there weren't others?

 

 

 

And even if the worst case scenario is true; he has FINALLY found a women who " does it" for him, enough for him to want to see her officially and even marry.

 

...She is STILL highly unlucky! He is NOT a nice person.

 

who would want to marry a man who is a total c*nt to women he dislikes, and is only nice to women he feels are worthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

No nice person who has integrity and emotional and social intelligence dos that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Nice people with dignity and self respect, they treat people with respect and do not treat people like crap just because they are not the right "partner" for them.

 

And lastly, of course he has had other women in FIVE Years... Especially since they did not talk or see each other for months at a time. He would have wanted sex from elswhere.

 

He probably lied and used every other women too! the only difference would have been that MAYBE one or more of those women KNEW what the deal was, and refused to get emotional invested

 

Mishly, you cannot always CHOOSE to not get attached to a man.

....In future, if you have a guy you have FWB with, make SURE it is not a guy you get attached to, and make SURE you he treats you like a friend!

on, among the many bizarre facts about this heartless pr*ck, is his ability to expect sex from a women he does not even deam good enough to be his friend.

[Leigh 87]

Oh yes i am fully aware that i may be in denial and it could be a coping mechanism. But the fact is, that i don't know. He did lie about that trip and girl, and he has lied about other smaller things. So its not much of a stretch to say that this girl is a lie too.

 

The point is he has lied before and it was a fairly big one, , and that means that i can't believe anything he says. It wouldn't matter what he was telling me, I would never know if its the truth. And thats more important than if he has a girl or not. - the fact that i can't trust his word.

 

 

So he is a jerk who has lied about things! That is such as turn off.

 

Why the need to find out he has done yet ANOTHER jerk like thing?

 

Please, you do not need to know so you can "move on". You should move on with the information you already have about him.

 

Trying to extract any more info is paying him unecessary attention.

[geegirl]

Oh yes i am fully aware that i may be in denial and it could be a coping mechanism. But the fact is, that i don't know. He did lie about that trip and girl, and he has lied about other smaller things. So its not much of a stretch to say that this girl is a lie too.

 

The point is he has lied before and it was a fairly big one, , and that means that i can't believe anything he says. It wouldn't matter what he was telling me, I would never know if its the truth. And thats more important than if he has a girl or not. - the fact that i can't trust his word.

 

When I broke up with my ex, I passed his house one night (lives down the street), and I saw a car in his driveway. I went bananas. The next day, I was on the road, like a deranged woman, looking out for that same model car, trying to see if it was male driver or female driver. My rationale, let's see if it's a guy car or girl car. If there were 7 female drivers and 3 male drivers, waaaaaah, it's a girl car, he was with a girl. The next day if I saw 2 female drivers and 8 male drivers, sigh of relief it had to be a guy friend over because it was a guy car. And I would talk myself into believing it.

 

Third day, I went to my therapist and told her this. She looked at me and asked me if all I wanted to do was scratch the surface. I looked at her puzzled. She said, "Dig deep. Bigger picture. What does a car in the driveway matter compared to the possibility of him cheating on you all through the relationship?"

 

I think I started feeling much more relief when I accepted the fact that it could have been a woman because based on his lack of character, and the fact that he was non-committal, anything was possible.