5 years and I am stupid

[mishy]

yeah dont he should be the one to text you to at least see if you ok .it just tells you he dont care but i do think he will text you beacuse as i say before he will regret what he did...stay strong i know its hard but dont text him. your reward at the end will be great keeping your dignity and respect

 

No he hasnt texted to see if i am ok.

 

You know what when he told me about the girl he offered no sympathy or anything , he told me by text too, just sat there and watched the fallout of me getting upset and wanting answers. He doesnt care how he makes people feel. I said to him, well what am i now that you have this girl? Are we in contact or is it over? And he texted me saying, "text every now and then ok"

 

wtf, what would be the point? im there in the background waiting for Miss Two Weeks to fade out? (if she is even real!! LOL ) what the H

 

%$!! him

 

thanks taya you make me feel better, everybody here does, i am very grateful. i am going to post here instead of texting him, i refuse to go back to the pattern he is expecting/ wanting.

 

 

*

Edited October 24, 2012 by mishy

[geegirl]

You know instead of making up fictitious women, why wouldnt he just say "hey im not interested in anything" Actually he has said that before, those very words, when i have "got too close" ... then come back two months later.

 

You're trying to rationalize irrational behavior. You will never get the answers you seek nor will you ever be able to piece it together.

 

Why wouldn't he just say he can't be in a relationship? Why would he say he's with someone when he wasn't? Why did he feel the need to treat you cruelly? Why did he drag you for years with no honorable intent? Would you do all these things to someone else? No, I would think.

 

So how do you make sense of someone that has a mindset that's clearly on the opposite path as yours? You don't and you can't.

[geegirl]

I said to him, well what am i now that you have this girl? Are we in contact or is it over? And he texted me saying, "text every now and then ok"*

 

If I was sitting next to you, I would have bonked you on the head!

 

He tells you he has a girl and you ask him if you both are still in contact or if it is over. You showed him that you were willing to sit back and be a substitute. You still asked if there would be contact and you gave him the power to determine if it was over. Then he sets the terms that every now and then you can contact him?! Total disregard for you, your feelings or your needs.

 

You teach people how to treat you. You teach him that no matter what he does, you will bow down and take it. You teach him you have no boundaries and that you're slave to his wants and needs. You teach him you have no self-respect or dignity by allowing yourself to be an option.

 

When he tells you I am with another girl, and then comes back, you teach him that you accept and condone that behavior everytime you take him back, regardless of whether "she" is fake or real.

 

Never make someone a priority when they treat you like an option.

[taya]

If I was sitting next to you, I would have bonked you on the head!

 

He tells you he has a girl and you ask him if you both are still in contact or if it is over. You showed him that you were willing to sit back and be a substitute. You still asked if there would be contact and you gave him the power to determine if it was over. Then he sets the terms that every now and then you can contact him?! Total disregard for you, your feelings or your needs.

 

You teach people how to treat you. You teach him that no matter what he does, you will bow down and take it. You teach him you have no boundaries and that you're slave to his wants and needs. You teach him you have no self-respect or dignity by allowing yourself to be an option.

 

When he tells you I am with another girl, and then comes back, you teach him that you accept and condone that behavior everytime you take him back, regardless of whether "she" is fake or real.

 

Never make someone a priority when they treat you like an option.

 

 

wow this was a great one just by reading this i learn a few things from what you say alot of woman have done this even my self i have done this let him take control even tho he told me hes with someone eles . it shows no dignity and respect for your self like what you say its telling the guy its ok i dont even have to fight for her she will always be there when am done doing what am doing.....thanks this wont happen to me again

[taya]

No he hasnt texted to see if i am ok.

 

You know what when he told me about the girl he offered no sympathy or anything , he told me by text too, just sat there and watched the fallout of me getting upset and wanting answers. He doesnt care how he makes people feel. I said to him, well what am i now that you have this girl? Are we in contact or is it over? And he texted me saying, "text every now and then ok"

 

wtf, what would be the point? im there in the background waiting for Miss Two Weeks to fade out? (if she is even real!! LOL ) what the H

 

%$!! him

 

thanks taya you make me feel better, everybody here does, i am very grateful. i am going to post here instead of texting him, i refuse to go back to the pattern he is expecting/ wanting.

 

 

*

aww your welcome and am happy you feel better yeah post here instead of texting him no more wating on this guy you have waited enough ..he as know respect for you and thats the problem show him you respect your self

[mishy]

You're trying to rationalize irrational behavior. You will never get the answers you seek nor will you ever be able to piece it together.

 

Why wouldn't he just say he can't be in a relationship? Why would he say he's with someone when he wasn't? Why did he feel the need to treat you cruelly? Why did he drag you for years with no honorable intent? Would you do all these things to someone else? No, I would think.

 

So how do you make sense of someone that has a mindset that's clearly on the opposite path as yours? You don't and you can't.

 

that makes sense. Its just human nature to try and make sense of it but i just have to accept that i can't possibly know what goes on in his head

[mishy]

If I was sitting next to you, I would have bonked you on the head!

 

He tells you he has a girl and you ask him if you both are still in contact or if it is over. You showed him that you were willing to sit back and be a substitute. You still asked if there would be contact and you gave him the power to determine if it was over. Then he sets the terms that every now and then you can contact him?! Total disregard for you, your feelings or your needs.

 

You teach people how to treat you. You teach him that no matter what he does, you will bow down and take it. You teach him you have no boundaries and that you're slave to his wants and needs. You teach him you have no self-respect or dignity by allowing yourself to be an option.

 

When he tells you I am with another girl, and then comes back, you teach him that you accept and condone that behavior everytime you take him back, regardless of whether "she" is fake or real.

 

Never make someone a priority when they treat you like an option.

 

I know!!!! I was in shock over the girl (hadn't realised at that point its probably fake) and i just panicked!! It was kind of sarcastic, like wtf am i now?

 

And him setting the terms of "text every now and then ok" it was when he texted that that a light bulb went off in my head and i realised what i was dealing with and how it sounded like all the previous dumpings, although some of those he woudl say "its over, no ifs buts or maybes" (like i was a child). He actually emailed me that once, the no ifs buts or maybes. Think it was maybe 2 or 3 months later he was back after that.

 

I think when he texted the text every now and then ok, i knew the whole thing was fake, but more importantly i knew what a giant seething festering boil he is.

 

You ar right though!!!! I needed a bonk on the head, i just panicked in the moment and i was angry.

 

I havent texted, i havent emailed i havent done anything and its been 10 days NC!!

[taya]

I know!!!! I was in shock over the girl (hadn't realised at that point its probably fake) and i just panicked!! It was kind of sarcastic, like wtf am i now?

 

And him setting the terms of "text every now and then ok" it was when he texted that that a light bulb went off in my head and i realised what i was dealing with and how it sounded like all the previous dumpings, although some of those he woudl say "its over, no ifs buts or maybes" (like i was a child). He actually emailed me that once, the no ifs buts or maybes. Think it was maybe 2 or 3 months later he was back after that.

 

I think when he texted the text every now and then ok, i knew the whole thing was fake, but more importantly i knew what a giant seething festering boil he is.

 

You ar right though!!!! I needed a bonk on the head, i just panicked in the moment and i was angry.

 

I havent texted, i havent emailed i havent done anything and its been 10 days NC!!

 

 

 

am so:laugh: happy for you good job respecting your self 10 days wow thats great i think he maybe thinking you havent text or nothing and thinking wow beacuse he have always took you as a fool so i know he was looking for you to text him or contact him already but it sucks for him beacuse your leading now not following. you go girl lifes too damn short

Edited October 25, 2012 by taya

[malou]

I am so sorry you are going through this. He sounds like a toad, though. I know that doesn't diminish your pain. But from an outsider's perspective, it does sound like you are much better off without him. My initial thought with situations like this is always to wonder if the dreamboat in question hasn't been married the entire time.

[mishy]

I am so sorry you are going through this. He sounds like a toad, though. I know that doesn't diminish your pain. But from an outsider's perspective, it does sound like you are much better off without him. My initial thought with situations like this is always to wonder if the dreamboat in question hasn't been married the entire time.

 

i did wonder of he was marrie for a while, but no, he wasn't

 

i wish i could just erase him from my mind

[taya]

hey you ok?? how is everthing going?

[mishy]

hey you ok?? how is everthing going?

 

im a silly girl

[ilovedhim]

I really think he's married or living with SO. How can you be sure he's not?

[Million.to.1]

2 things...

 

1. You have wasted 5 years of your life "with" (i use that term very loosely) a spineless moron. He has done you a massive favour and one day you will look back on this period of your life and think "what the hell was i thinking!"

This guy deserves no more of your time, energy, thoughts.. nothing.

I know you are hurting, but don't. Just don't. Don't let yourself think of him for one minute more. It will be one more minute wasted. Even hate and anger is too good for this guy. He deserves NOTHING.

 

2. The rest of the world awaits you.

[mishy]

2 things...

 

1. You have wasted 5 years of your life "with" (i use that term very loosely) a spineless moron. He has done you a massive favour and one day you will look back on this period of your life and think "what the hell was i thinking!"

This guy deserves no more of your time, energy, thoughts.. nothing.

I know you are hurting, but don't. Just don't. Don't let yourself think of him for one minute more. It will be one more minute wasted. Even hate and anger is too good for this guy. He deserves NOTHING.

 

2. The rest of the world awaits you.

 

imagine if i could just switch it off just like that. To just snap! decide and he's gone from my mind in a blink of an eye, just because i choose to. How do i do that?

[taya]

imagine if i could just switch it off just like that. To just snap! decide and he's gone from my mind in a blink of an eye, just because i choose to. How do i do that?

 

hun you cant and i bet its messing with your mind right now right?

[taya]

so here is what i would do if i was you starting right now.. ok so you text this guy and hes still on his bull **** ok you mess up ..so start back from step one tell him dont come to your house tell him your done and dont come over this is your first step after you tell him that take his number out your phone and start from there ... if he text back dont reply you will have him hook thinking what is going on in your head and i repeat dont reply to any text from him no matter what just only tell him dont come over to my house i dont want to talk and thats all...then you come on here and write to us and say am starting no contact over and you sart over your life ...go on dates go out with the girls and start from today i repeat today to let him go right now

Edited October 28, 2012 by taya

[Million.to.1]

imagine if i could just switch it off just like that. To just snap! decide and he's gone from my mind in a blink of an eye, just because i choose to. How do i do that?

 

You just do it.

I had a FWB situation on and off for 16 years... And we even tried a proper relationship earlier this year. But he never cared about me. Only pretended to when it suited him and he needed something. Everytime time he pops into my mind whether its a good memory or a negative feeling, I say to myself "he is not worth ANY of your energy" and I make myself think of things i love, the people in my life who care about me and anything other than him.

 

Force yourself at first, rinse and repeat. It gets easier and easier.

 

I realised that when you give energy to something, it grows. When you don't it dies.

 

There are better things in life to give energy to than people who don't care about you.

 

You will find them, but you've got to want to. While you wallow in self pity, it's just more wasted energy.

[mishy]

You just do it.

I had a FWB situation on and off for 16 years... And we even tried a proper relationship earlier this year. But he never cared about me. Only pretended to when it suited him and he needed something. Everytime time he pops into my mind whether its a good memory or a negative feeling, I say to myself "he is not worth ANY of your energy" and I make myself think of things i love, the people in my life who care about me and anything other than him.

 

Force yourself at first, rinse and repeat. It gets easier and easier.

 

I realised that when you give energy to something, it grows. When you don't it dies.

 

There are better things in life to give energy to than people who don't care about you.

 

You will find them, but you've got to want to. While you wallow in self pity, it's just more wasted energy.

 

Thanks . I am going to write "he is not worth any of your energy on a piece of paper and put it somewhere like the bathroom mirror so i see it every day

 

 

i really need to drum it into my head.

 

i am also going to write a list of the qualities i would liek to find in a guy, and then a list of his qualities. If i am logical about it and write these lists, maybe i can forget him in time.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Think of someone that treated/treats you with love and respect. It doesn't have to be romantic, a friend or a family member. Now compare that to how this loser treats you. You will feel :sick: